The house was dark and quiet when s

The house was dark and quiet when she got home, with no seething Sandro waiting at the front door this time, just echoing silence as she made her way upstairs and back into the spare bedroom. After a hot shower, she collapsed into bed and didn’t stir until the following morning, when she woke to bright sunlight. She sat up in confusion as she tried to get her bearings and realised that she wasn’t in the spare bedroom anymore. A quick glance around confirmed that she was back in the master suit and a glance down at the empty space beside her confirmed that Sandro had indeed slept beside her. She peeked down at herself and was relieved to note that she still had on the t-shirt she had worn to bed.She checked the clock and groaned when she realised that she had slept to nearly ten in the morning. Pushing the tumbled mass of her hair out of her face, she got up and was alarmed when the room started spinning wildly around her. She stumbled a couple of steps before reaching for the headboard of the bed and steadying herself. She frowned slightly as she tried to recall the last time she had had a decent meal… definitely not the previous day’s breakfast, which had come back up after that overheard phone call, or lunch which had been spoiled by Sandro’s appearance at Rick and Lisa’s place and dinner had been a non-event. Even though Rick and Lisa had urged her to eat the night before, Theresa just could not stomach the thought of food after the day she’d had! Saturday had been much of the same; all she’d had to eat was popcorn at the movies.Now she was paying the price for all those missed meals. Heading for the shower she decided to treat herself to a decent brunch. Monday was the housekeeper’s day off and they had no other live-in staff so Theresa had the house to herself. She was looking forward to just spending the day on her own, trying to figure out what her next move would be. She couldn’t leave him and it seemed that he couldn’t leave her. So what now? Sighing she decided to switch off her brain until after she’d eaten lest she lose her appetite again.Less than an hour later she was dry-heaving over the commode in the downstairs guest bathroom. Just the smell of frying bacon and eggs had been enough to set her off. After her stomach stopped revolting, she stumbled out onto the patio, as far away from the nauseating smell of cooked food as she could possibly get, and sank down onto a chaise longue overlooking the huge infinity swimming pool.“No…” she whispered staring blindly at the edge of the pool, where the aquamarine water of the pool seemed to merge with the darker blue of the ocean and the cobalt blue of sky. “No no no no… no… please God! No…”She buried her face in her hands and rocked back and forth slightly. Her system was just off-kilter because of the gut-wrenching events of the last forty-eight hours. Naturally she’d feel nauseous after not eating in so long. It was all perfectly logical… she was simply overreacting.She couldn’t be this unlucky, not after finally making some kind of progress in achieving independence from this marriage. She tried to remember when her last period had been but she had been under a lot of stress lately and her period had been affected so that was not the most reliable way to gauge anything. She got up gingerly and was relieved when the movement didn’t upset her equilibrium, heading toward the kitchen, she braced herself for a fresh onslaught of nausea but thankfully her stomach stayed as steady as a rock. Breathing a sigh of relief, she headed toward the stove and picked up the pan, averting her eyes as she deposited the congealed mess that would have been her meal, into the waste disposal unit. She settled on black tea and dry toast instead determinedly putting her irrational fear of pregnancy out of her head.After finishing the unappetizing meal, she headed for the bright, sunny attic which she had transformed into a workroom and put on some music while she immersed herself in her work. She so often lost herself up here, loving the serenity that usually came over her when she was working but today she just couldn’t concentrate. She had an image in her mind, knew what she wanted but she just couldn’t put it down on paper. She sat in front of her drawing board, staring at the fifth blank sheet of paper in half an hour, resting her elbow on the tilted board and her delicate chin in one hand as she stared at the paper and willed the image into existence. She raised her pencil, resting the nib on the paper, before sighing resignedly and shaking her head in frustration. She dropped the pencil and pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes

Rumah itu gelap dan tenang ketika ia sampai di rumah, tanpa mendidih Sandro menunggu di depan pintu saat ini, hanya bergema diam sebagai ia berjalan ke atas dan kembali ke kamar tidur. Setelah mandi air panas, dia ambruk ke tempat tidur dan tidak aduk sampai keesokan harinya, ketika dia terbangun sinar matahari cerah. Dia duduk di kebingungan saat ia mencoba untuk mendapatkan bantalan dan menyadari bahwa dia tidak di kamar tidur lagi. Sekilas sekitar menegaskan bahwa ia kembali setelan master dan melihat ke bawah di ruang kosong di sampingnya menegaskan bahwa Sandro memang tidur di sampingnya. Dia mengintip ke bawah pada dirinya dan merasa lega untuk dicatat bahwa ia masih memiliki pada t-shirt dia dikenakan ke tempat tidur.
Dia memeriksa jam dan mengerang ketika dia menyadari bahwa dia telah tidur dengan hampir sepuluh pagi. Mendorong massa tumbled rambutnya dari wajahnya, ia bangun dan terkejut ketika ruangan mulai berputar liar di sekelilingnya. Dia tersandung beberapa langkah sebelum meraih kepala tempat tidur dan memantapkan dirinya. Dia mengerutkan kening sedikit sambil mencoba mengingat terakhir kali ia memiliki makanan yang layak ... pasti tidak hari sebelumnya sarapan, yang telah kembali setelah panggilan telepon mendengar, atau makan siang yang telah dimanjakan oleh penampilan Sandro di Rick dan Lisa tempat dan makan malam telah menjadi non-event. Meskipun Rick dan Lisa telah mendesak dia untuk makan malam sebelumnya, Theresa tidak bisa perut memikirkan makanan setelah hari ia miliki! Sabtu telah banyak yang sama; semua dia harus makan popcorn di bioskop.
Sekarang dia membayar harga untuk semua makanan terjawab. Menuju kamar mandi dia memutuskan untuk merawat dirinya untuk makan siang yang layak. Senin adalah hari pengurus rumah tangga off dan mereka tidak punya staf yang tinggal di lain sehingga Theresa memiliki rumah untuk dirinya sendiri. Dia berharap untuk hanya menghabiskan hari sendiri, mencoba untuk mencari tahu apa yang langkah berikutnya akan. Dia tidak bisa meninggalkan dia dan tampaknya ia tidak bisa meninggalkan dia. Jadi bagaimana sekarang? Mendesah dia memutuskan untuk mematikan otaknya sampai setelah dia makan supaya dia kehilangan nafsu makan lagi.
Kurang dari satu jam kemudian dia kering-naik-turun di atas toilet di kamar mandi tamu di lantai bawah. Hanya bau menggoreng daging dan telur sudah cukup untuk mengatur liburnya. Setelah perutnya berhenti memberontak, ia tersandung keluar ke teras, jauh dari bau memuakkan makanan dimasak seperti dia mungkin bisa, dan tenggelam ke bawah ke kursi malas yang menghadap ke kolam renang infinity besar.
"Tidak ..." bisik dia menatap membabi buta di tepi kolam renang, di mana air aquamarine kolam tampaknya bergabung dengan biru gelap laut dan biru kobalt langit. "Tidak tidak tidak tidak ... tidak ada ... silakan Allah! Tidak ada ... "
Dia membenamkan wajahnya di tangannya dan bergoyang-goyang sedikit. Sistem nya hanya off-keteraturan karena peristiwa usus yang menyayat terakhir empat puluh delapan jam. Tentu dia akan merasa mual setelah makan tidak begitu lama. Itu semua sangat logis ... dia hanya bereaksi berlebihan.
Dia tidak bisa ini beruntung, tidak setelah akhirnya membuat semacam kemajuan dalam mencapai kemerdekaan dari pernikahan ini. Dia mencoba mengingat saat periode terakhirnya telah tapi dia berada di bawah banyak stres akhir-akhir ini dan masa nya telah terpengaruh jadi itu bukan cara yang paling dapat diandalkan untuk mengukur apa-apa. Dia bangkit dengan hati-hati dan merasa lega ketika gerakan tidak mengganggu keseimbangan nya, menuju dapur, ia memberanikan diri untuk serangan segar mual tapi untungnya perutnya tinggal sebagai stabil seperti batu. Bernapas lega, dia menuju kompor dan mengambil panci, mengalihkan matanya saat ia disimpan kekacauan beku yang akan dia makan, ke dalam unit pembuangan limbah. Dia menetap di teh hitam dan roti kering bukan tekad menempatkan ketakutan irasional kehamilannya dari kepalanya.
Setelah selesai makan selera, ia menuju terang, loteng cerah yang ia berubah menjadi ruang kerja dan menyetel musik saat dia tenggelam dirinya dalam pekerjaannya. Dia begitu sering hilang sendiri di sini, mencintai ketenangan yang biasanya datang ketika dia sedang bekerja tapi hari ini dia tidak bisa berkonsentrasi. Dia memiliki sebuah gambar dalam benaknya, tahu apa yang dia inginkan tapi dia tidak bisa meletakkannya di atas kertas. Dia duduk di depan papan gambar, menatap lembaran kosong kelima kertas di setengah jam, beristirahat sikunya di papan miring dan dagu halus di satu tangan sambil menatap kertas dan menghendaki gambar menjadi ada. Dia mengangkat pensilnya, mengistirahatkan pena di atas kertas, sebelum mendesah pasrah dan menggeleng frustrasi. Dia menjatuhkan pensil dan menekan tumit tangannya ke matanya