Twenty-five emails from my cousin,

Twenty-five emails from my cousin, ranging from the end of August, straight up till October 14th.
That was absolutely ridiculous. 
I’d waited until after mid-terms before subjecting myself to unnecessary what the fuckery that was sure to occur from opening any of these. Part of me just wanted to delete them. What was the point in reading the emails? Same shit different day. 
But I leaned back in my desk chair, exhaling loudly and obnoxiously. 
I told myself I’d read them Monday. Didn’t do it. Told myself I’d read them Tuesday. Nope, didn’t happen. Now it was Wednesday, six in the Godforsaken morning, and I’d been staring at my inbox for thirty minutes. 
David had been Blaine’s age at the time everything had gone down. He’d been three years older than me—seventeen. He’d been friends with Blaine, but hadn’t been at the party. After everything had happened—the truth, the deal between the parents, and the subsequent lies and nonstop shit storm that had become my life, David knew about the settlement, but had believed what everyone else had. 
That I had a mad case of buyer’s remorse. 
But David had stopped being friends with Blaine, because to my cousin, whether or not I’d been telling the truth in the beginning, it hadn’t mattered. The whole thing had just been nasty to David. Hadn’t made him one bit sympathetic to me for the past five years.
Scrolling down to the first unread email dated back at the end of August.  I shook my head and clicked it open. Same as the one I had read before. I needed to call him or my parents. Immediately. I rolled my eyes. Couldn’t have been that important, because you’d think one of them would’ve picked up the phone and called me if it had been. 
That was my family, though. Every one of them felt as if they should not have to pick up the phone. They were too busy for that, too important. Even my cousin, who apparently had a shit ton of time to send emails.
I deleted that one.
On to the next one. 
Same stuff, but there were a couple of more sentences. Something to do with a girl from high school. Molly Simmons. She’d been a year younger than me and of course I hadn’t been friends with the chick. I couldn’t even remember what she looked like.  David needed to talk to me about her. Was he, like, dating the chick and getting married? If so, I was surprised that he’d even let me know.
That’s one wedding I probably would not be attending.
I deleted that email and was about to move on to the next one when my cell chirped. Dropping my feet onto the floor, I picked it up. It was a text from Brittany, wanting to know if I’d meet her for coffee before my astronomy class. I sent a quick text back, saying yes. 
Closing my laptop, I jumped up, deciding that a coffee date with Brit was a million times better than going through the slush pile of my email.
#
At lunch, Jacob was acting like a cracked out jack rabbit because we didn’t have classes Thursday or Friday due to Fall Break. He and Brit were excited about going home. I was happy for them, but also a little disappointed. Four day weekends were what life was made of for college students, but for me, it meant four days of doing absolutely nothing but bouncing off of walls and nerding out by reading ahead in my classes.
But their mood was contagious and I found myself laughing as Jacob tried to convince a guy at another table that if a zombie bit a vampire than it would become a zombie vampire while the other guy was convinced that it would become a vampire zombie.
Brit looked like she was hoping a zombie would crash through the Den and bite them all. “So what are you doing for break?” she asked.
“Just staying here,” I said, and then added my ready made excuse. “It’s just too far to travel for four days.”
“Understandable.” She picked up a rolled up napkin and tossed it at Jacob’s back, but he was in way too deep with his zombie/vampire fetish. “I’m leaving after my last class today.” She rested her head on my shoulder. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Me too.”
“You’ll be bereft without me.”
“I know.”
She sat up, eyes glimmering with excitement. “You know, you could always come home with me.”
“Oh, Brit…” I wanted to hug the girl or cry. The offer seriously meant a lot to me. “Thank you, but that’s your time with your family and stuff.”
“Well, think about it. If you change your mind between now and three, text me and I’ll zip you away.” She took a drink of her soda. “What’s Cam doing? Is he going home?”
Good question. Before I could respond, Jacob whipped around like someone had yelled his name. “What about my fantasy husband?”
Brit laughed. “I was asking Avery if he was going home for break.”
“Is he?” he asked.
Tucking my hair back, I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Jacob’s brows lowered. “What do you mean you don’t know?”
“Um, I just don’t know. He hasn’t brought it up.”
The two of them exchanged a look and Brit said, “I’m kind of surprised he hasn’t said anything to you about it.”
Confusion rose. “Why are you surprised.”
Jacob shot me a duh look. “You guys are like attached at the hip—”
“No, we’re not.” I frowned. Were we? “No.”
“Okay, do I need to list how often you guys are together?” Jacob raised his brows. “I think it would be safe to assume that you knew about his plans and the size of his cock by now.”
“Oh my God.” I dropped my face into my hands. 
Brit giggled. “You’re making Avery blush.”
He was.
Jacob snickered. “I think you’re having a closet relationship with him.”
“What?” Lifting my head, I stared at him. “I am not having a closet relationship with him. Trust me, he’s asked me—” I cut myself off. “We’re not.”
“Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.” Jacob practically fell over. “He’s asked you what?”
“Nothing.” I sat back, crossing my arms. “He hasn’t asked me anything.”
Jacob looked at Brit. “Is it just me or is she just not that smooth to pull off a lie?”
“Not that smooth,” Brit commented, twisting toward me. “What has he asked you?”
“Nothing!”
“Bull poop!” She punched me in the arm. “You’re lying!”
“Ouch! I—”
Jacob shook his head, looking like he was seconds from falling on the floor. “We are your friends. It is the law of friendship that you tell us things you don’t want to tell us.”
My mouth dropped open. “What? That makes no sense.”
“It is the law.” Brittany nodded solemnly.
“What has he asked you?” Jacob persisted. “Did he ask to eat more of his cookies? Did he ask you to be his baby mama? How about marry him? Or to just warm his bed every morning, afternoon, and evening? Did he—?”
“Oh my God!” There was no way out of this. I knew Jacob. He’d just keep going until the whole Den thought I was getting married and having baby. “Okay. I’ll tell you if you promise not to freak out and scream.”
Jacob made a face. “Ah, I don’t know.”
“He promises!” Brit shot him a glare. “Or I will physically maim him.”
He nodded. “I promise.”
I exhaled harshly. “Okay. It’s not a big deal. Let’s get that established first. Everyone understand? Good. Alright, so Cam has kind of been asking me out—”
“What?” Jacob screeched, and several heads turned.
My shoulders slumped. “You promised.”
“Sorry.” He crossed his heart. “I just… wow. Got excited.”
“I can tell,” I said wryly.
Brit’s hands were clasped in front of her chest. “He’s been asking you out, like in the plural sense?”
I nodded. “Yeah, but I’ve said no each and every time.”
“You’ve said no?” he shouted, and I shot up and smacked his arm. He gave me a bright smile. “Sorry. Sorry. Don’t hit. Bitches be scary when they hit.”
Sitting back down, I eyed him. “Yes. I’ve said no.”
“Why?” he demanded.
“And he keeps asking?” asked Brit at the same time.
“Yes, he keeps asking, but it’s like a… running joke between us. He’s not serious.”
Brit tugged at her hair like I was stressing her out or something. “How do you know he’s not being serious?”
“Come on.” I raised my hands. “He’s not serious.”
“Why?” Jacob was stunned apparently. “You’re a smart and funny girl. You don’t like to party, but you’re hot, and that kind of makes up for that.” 
“Gee, thanks.”
“What I’m trying to say is how do you know he hasn’t been serious?”
I shook my head. “He’s not.”
“Get back to the important question,” Brit said. “Why would you tell him no?”
“Why would I say yes?” Could a hole open up and swallow me? Please? “We barely know each other.”
“Oh, what the fuck? You guys are like soul twins right now. And what do you think the purpose of going out on a date with someone is all about?” Jacob rolled his eyes. “It’s about getting to know someone. And you do know him, so that’s a lame excuse.”
It was a lame excuse, but it was the best I had. “How do you really ever truly know someone?”
Brit smacked her hands to her cheeks and she shook his head. “He’s not a serial killer.”
“Speaking of serial killers, everyone thought Ted Bundy was a really charming, handsome man. And look how he turned out. Psycho.”
Jacob stared at me, jaw slightly unhinged. “He’s not Ted Bundy.”
“I don’t understand,” Brit whispered. “It’s like someone saying that Earth is flat. Cam is like one of the most eligible bachelors on this campus, probably in this county and state.”
I said nothing.

Hasil (Bahasa Indonesia) 1:

Dua puluh lima email dari sepupu saya, mulai dari akhir Agustus, langsung sampai Oktober 14.Itu benar-benar konyol. Aku telah menunggu sampai setelah pertengahan istilah sebelum menundukkan diri untuk tidak perlu apa fuckery yang pasti akan terjadi dari pembukaan ini. Bagian dari diriku hanya ingin menghapusnya. Apa adalah titik dalam membaca email? Sama kotoran hari berbeda. Tapi aku bersandar di kursi meja saya, mengembuskan keras dan obnoxiously. Aku berkata pada diriku sendiri aku akan membacanya Senin. Tidak melakukannya. Berkata pada diriku sendiri aku akan membaca mereka Selasa. Nope, tidak terjadi. Sekarang itu Rabu, enam pagi terkutuk, dan saya telah menatap inbox saya selama tiga puluh menit. David telah Blaine's usia saat segala sesuatu sudah turun. Ia telah tiga tahun lebih tua dari saya-tujuh belas. Dia telah menjadi teman-teman dengan Blaine, tapi belum pernah di pesta. Setelah segala sesuatu telah terjadi — kebenaran, kesepakatan antara orang tua, dan kebohongan berikutnya dan tanpa henti badai kotoran yang telah menjadi hidup saya, David tahu tentang penyelesaian, tetapi percaya apa yang orang lain telah. Bahwa aku punya kasus gila penyesalan pembeli. Tapi David telah berhenti menjadi teman dengan Blaine, karena untuk sepupu saya, Apakah saya telah mengatakan kebenaran di awal, ini tidak penting. Semuanya baru saja jahat kepada David. Tidak membuatnya sedikit simpatik bagi saya selama lima tahun.Menggulir ke email belum dibaca pertama tanggal kembali pada akhir Agustus. Aku menganggukkan kepala dan diklik terbuka. Sama seperti yang saya telah membaca sebelumnya. Aku perlu untuk menghubungi dia atau orang tua saya. Segera. Aku berguling mataku. Tidak mungkin yang penting, karena Anda akan berpikir salah satu dari mereka akan telah mengangkat telepon dan menelepon saya jika itu sudah. Itu adalah keluarga saya, meskipun. Setiap satu dari mereka merasa seolah-olah mereka tidak harus mengangkat telepon. Mereka terlalu sibuk untuk itu, terlalu penting. Bahkan sepupu saya, yang rupanya sial waktu untuk mengirim email ton.Aku menghapus yang satu.Ke yang berikutnya. Sama hal, tetapi ada adalah beberapa kalimat-kalimat yang lain. Ada hubungannya dengan seorang gadis dari sekolah tinggi. Molly Simmons. Dia telah satu tahun lebih muda dari saya dan tentu saja saya tak teman dengan ayam. Aku bahkan tidak bisa ingat apa yang dia tampak seperti. David diperlukan untuk berbicara dengan saya tentang dirinya. Dia, seperti, kencan cewek dan menikah? Jika demikian, saya terkejut bahwa ia bahkan akan membiarkan saya tahu.Itu adalah satu pernikahan, aku mungkin akan tidak hadir.Aku dihapus email tersebut dan akan melanjutkan ke yang berikutnya ketika sel saya berkicau. Menjatuhkan kakiku ke lantai, aku mengambilnya. Ini adalah teks dari Brittany, ingin tahu jika saya akan bertemu dengannya untuk kopi sebelum kelas astronomi. Aku mengirim teks cepat kembali, mengatakan ya. Menutup laptop saya, aku melompat, memutuskan bahwa tanggal kopi dengan Brit adalah satu juta kali lebih baik daripada pergi melalui tumpukan naskah email saya.#Saat makan siang, Yakub bertindak seperti retak keluar jack kelinci karena kita tidak memiliki kelas Kamis atau Jumat karena jatuh istirahat. Dia dan Brit bersemangat tentang pulang. Aku bahagia untuk mereka, tetapi juga sedikit kecewa. Empat hari akhir pekan adalah apa yang hidup adalah terbuat dari untuk mahasiswa, tapi bagi saya, itu berarti empat hari melakukan apa pun tetapi memantul dari dinding dan nerding keluar dengan membaca ke depan di kelas saya.Tapi suasana hati mereka menular dan aku mendapati diriku tertawa seperti Yakub berusaha meyakinkan seorang pria di lain meja yang jika zombie sedikit vampir daripada akan menjadi vampir zombie sementara orang lain yakin bahwa itu akan menjadi zombie vampir.Brit tampak seperti dia berharap zombie akan crash melalui Den dan menggigit mereka semua. "Jadi apa yang Anda lakukan untuk istirahat?" Dia bertanya."Hanya tinggal di sini," kataku, dan kemudian menambahkan alasan saya siap pakai. "Itu adalah hanya terlalu jauh untuk melakukan perjalanan selama empat hari.""Dimengerti." Dia mengambil serbet digulung dan melemparkan di belakang Yakub, tetapi dia adalah cara terlalu jauh dengan-Nya dan jimat zombie vampir. "Aku meninggalkan setelah saya kelas terakhir hari." Ia menyandarkan kepalanya di bahuku. "Aku akan merindukanmu.""Saya juga.""Anda akan kehilangan tanpa aku.""Aku tahu."Dia duduk, mata yang berkilauan dengan kegembiraan. "Kau tahu, Anda selalu bisa datang rumah saya.""Oh, Brit..." Saya ingin memeluk gadis atau menangis. Tawaran serius berarti banyak bagi saya. "Terima kasih, tetapi itu adalah waktu Anda dengan keluarga Anda dan barang-barang.""Yah, berpikir tentang hal itu. Jika Anda mengubah pikiran Anda antara sekarang dan tiga, teks saya dan saya akan zip Anda pergi." Dia mengambil minuman soda nya. "Apa Cam lakukan? Ia akan pulang?"Pertanyaan bagus. Sebelum aku bisa menjawab, Yakub menebas sekelilingnya seperti seseorang telah berteriak nama-Nya. "Bagaimana dengan suami fantasi saya?"Brit tertawa. "Aku bertanya pada Avery jika ia akan rumah untuk istirahat.""Apakah dia?" tanyanya.Menyelipkan rambut saya ke belakang, aku mengangkat bahu. "Saya tidak tahu."Yakub alis diturunkan. "Apa maksudmu Anda tidak tahu?""Um, saya hanya tidak tahu. Ia tidak membawa itu."Mereka bertukar pandangan dan Brit berkata, "saya agak terkejut ia belum mengatakan sesuatu kepada Anda tentang hal itu."Rose kebingungan. "Mengapa kamu heran."Yakub menembak saya duh terlihat. "Kalian seperti yang terlampir di pinggul —""Tidak, kami tidak." Aku mengerutkan kening. Kalau kita? "Tidak.""Oke, Apakah saya perlu untuk membuat daftar seberapa sering Anda orang-orang yang bersama-sama?" Yakub mengangkat alis nya. "Saya pikir itu akan aman untuk mengasumsikan bahwa Anda tahu tentang rencananya dan ukuran kemaluannya sekarang.""Oh my God." Aku menjatuhkan wajah saya ke tanganku. Brit terkikik. "Anda membuat Avery memerah."Dia adalah.Yakub mencibir. "Saya pikir Anda memiliki hubungan lemari dengannya.""Apa?" Mengangkat kepalaku, aku menatap kepadanya. "Saya tidak memiliki lemari hubungan dengannya. Percayalah, dia bertanya padaku-"saya memotong diri sendiri. "Kami tidak.""Wah. Waduh. Whoa." Yakub hampir jatuh di atas. "Dia meminta Anda apa?""Tidak." Aku duduk kembali, menyeberangi lengan saya. "Dia tidak bertanya padaku apa-apa."Yakub melihat Brit. "Is it just me atau dia hanya tidak yang halus untuk pull off kebohongan?""Tidak yang halus," Brit berkomentar, memutar ke arahku. "Apa telah ia meminta Anda?""Tidak ada!""Bull kotoran!" Dia menekan saya di lengan. "Anda sedang berbohong!""Aduh! Saya — "Yakub menggelengkan kepala, tampak seperti dia adalah detik dari jatuh di lantai. "Kami adalah teman Anda. Itu adalah hukum persahabatan yang Anda mengatakan hal-hal yang Anda tidak ingin memberitahu kami."Mulut saya jatuh terbuka. "Apa? Tidak masuk akal.""Itu adalah hukum." Brittany mengangguk khidmat."Apa telah ia meminta Anda?" Yakub bertahan. "Apakah dia meminta untuk makan lebih kue nya? Apakah dia meminta Anda untuk menjadi nya bayi mama? Bagaimana menikah dengannya? Atau hanya hangat tempat tidur setiap pagi, sore, dan malam? Dia —? ""Oh Tuhan!" Ada tidak ada jalan keluar dari ini. Aku tahu Yakub. Dia akan hanya terus terjadi sampai Den seluruh berpikir saya sudah mendapatkan menikah dan memiliki bayi. "Oke. Aku akan memberitahu Anda jika Anda berjanji untuk tidak panik dan berteriak."Yakub membuat wajah. "Ah, saya tidak tahu.""Dia janji!" Brit menembaknya silau. "Atau aku akan secara fisik maim kepadanya."Dia mengangguk. "Aku berjanji."Saya dihembuskan kasar. "Oke. Hal ini tidak besar. Mari kita yang pertama. Semua orang mengerti? Bagus. Alright, jadi Cam jenis sudah meminta saya keluar — ""Apa?" Yakub screeched, dan beberapa kepala berubah.Bahu merosot. "Anda berjanji.""Maaf." Ia menyeberangi dalam hatinya. "Aku hanya... wow. Mendapat bersemangat.""Saya dapat memberitahu," kataku kilatan.Brit's tangan yang menggenggam di depan dadanya. "Dia sudah meminta Anda keluar, seperti dalam arti plural?"Aku mengangguk. "Ya, tapi aku sudah mengatakan setiap waktu.""Anda telah mengatakan tidak?" dia berteriak, dan aku terangkat dan berbau lengannya. Dia memberiku senyum cerah. "Maaf. Maaf. Tidak memukul. Bitches akan menakutkan ketika mereka menghantam."Duduk kembali, aku menatapnya. "Ya. Aku sudah mengatakan tidak.""Kenapa?" dia menuntut."Dan dia terus meminta?" tanya Brit pada waktu yang sama."Ya, dia terus meminta, tetapi seperti a... menjalankan lelucon antara kita. Ia tidak serius."Brit menarik di rambutnya seperti saya adalah menekankan keluar atau sesuatu. "Bagaimana Anda tahu ia tidak sedang serius?""Ayo." Aku mengangkat tanganku. "Ia tidak serius.""Kenapa?" Yakub tertegun rupanya. "Kau seorang gadis yang cerdas dan lucu. Anda tidak ingin pesta, tapi kau panas, dan yang agak membuat untuk itu." "Wah, terima kasih.""Apa yang saya coba katakan adalah bagaimana Anda tahu dia belum serius?"Saya menganggukkan kepala. "Ia adalah tidak.""Mendapatkan kembali ke pertanyaan yang penting," Brit mengatakan. "Mengapa Apakah Anda mengatakan kepadanya tidak?""Mengapa saya mengatakan ya?" Bisa lubang terbuka dan menelan saya? Mohon? "Kita hampir tidak tahu satu sama lain."“Oh, what the fuck? You guys are like soul twins right now. And what do you think the purpose of going out on a date with someone is all about?” Jacob rolled his eyes. “It’s about getting to know someone. And you do know him, so that’s a lame excuse.”It was a lame excuse, but it was the best I had. “How do you really ever truly know someone?”Brit smacked her hands to her cheeks and she shook his head. “He’s not a serial killer.”“Speaking of serial killers, everyone thought Ted Bundy was a really charming, handsome man. And look how he turned out. Psycho.”Jacob stared at me, jaw slightly unhinged. “He’s not Ted Bundy.”“I don’t understand,” Brit whispered. “It’s like someone saying that Earth is flat. Cam is like one of the most eligible bachelors on this campus, probably in this county and state.”I said nothing.