And luckily before he has any chanc

And luckily before he has any chance to ask me about my non-existent job, we pull up in front of Steph and Linden’s building. Just as I’m lifting Ava out of the car, the doors open and Steph comes out, wobbling a bit in her strappy heels and carrying two glasses of wine.
Married life looks good on her. She’s gained some weight, but it’s all gone to her boobs, so that’s not really fair. Her hair is dyed mermaid blue (or baby blue, to be more specific) and she always looks happy and flushed like she’s just had some good sex. It’s a wonder I don’t hate her.
“Nic!” she yelps and comes speed-walking over as fast as she can without spilling the wine. She hands me a glass of red and says, “Here, drink this. We’ve got you.” She looks me deep in the eyes and I feel momentarily calmed.
And that’s why I could never hate her. She’s pretty much the best friend a girl could have.
She glances over at Bram and gives him a quick smile before beaming down at Ava.
“Ava, you look like a princess!”
“I am a princess,” she says. “You’re just a mermaid.”
Steph lifts her head in mock supremacy. “No one is just a mermaid.”
Ava seems to consider that for a moment then eyes the glass of wine in my hand. “Can I have some? I’m thirsty.”
“You’re always thirsty,” I tell her. “This is mommy’s adult drink. I’ll get you some juice when we’re inside, okay?”
She nods and licks her lips. She’s always been a thirsty child, but seems so even more lately. That and she gets just about as hungry as I do when I haven’t eaten. I don’t know where she puts all the food either. She definitely didn’t inherit her mom’s curvy calves and thighs. She’s all chicken legs and twig arms, something my doctor said is totally normal for a girl her age.
I turn, about to thank Bram for the ride. After all, he didn’t have to come get me, but he’s back in his car and driving away, the sleek façade of the Mercedes disappearing down the hill.
“Where’s he going?” I ask Steph. “My booster seat is still in the back.”
She takes a lengthy sip of wine. “To pick up his girlfriend of the week from her job. He’ll be back.”
“Right,” I say slowly. “Let me guess, supermodel?”
She shrugs. “Dunno. Probably. Haven’t met her yet. What’s the point when they never last very long?”
“I thought you were sending me an Uber.”
“He volunteered, actually,” she says, turning back toward the building. “He’s tonight’s designated driver.”
I can’t help but snort. “Why would he do that?”
“He’s changed a lot since he’s moved here. He’s a lot closer with Linden and since it’s his birthday, I guess he’s just trying to be a good brother and make up for lost time.” She shoots me a wry look over her shoulder. “Why all the questions?”
Was I asking questions? “No reason.”
“You don’t like Bram much, do you?” she notes as she swipes her key card and the door buzzes open.
“I like Bam,” Ava says, mispronouncing his name. I don’t bother to correct her.
“No you don’t,” I say. “You just like shiny things, like his car.”
“I like Bam,” she says again, this time more forceful.
I look at Steph who is watching me with interest. “What?”
“I don’t know. It’s just after the wedding, every time his name comes up, I can literally see you shudder. Did something happen?”
I shake my head, trying to keep a straight face.
“Because,” she goes on in a conspirator tone and peers at me closer, “Kayla says she saw you and Bram come out from behind the bushes. You were holding onto his arm.”
“Is Kayla here?” Because I’m going to kill her.
“She’ll be at the bar later,” she says. “So, was that true?”
“That was like, six months ago. I don’t remember. We may have talked but that’s it, I swear.” And way to wait that long to bring it up with me, Steph, I add in my head.
She raises her eyebrows. Most people aren’t usually very good at reading me. I guess I don’t give them enough to go on. But Steph has always been succinct at getting through my layers and it takes a lot not to look away.
“Just talked,” she muses and jabs the button for the elevator. “All right then. Well, I’m glad you just talked because you know he’s bad news.”
“You were just going on about how much he’s changed!”
“Yeah, and he has. But I still wouldn’t let any of my friends date him. Well, Kayla maybe, but not you.”
“Well you don’t have to worry about that. He’s definitely not my favorite person. And you know how I feel about guys like him.”
“I do know,” she says. “But I have to watch out for you, that’s all. Remember when you had a crush on your gynecologist? You would have said something to him if I hadn’t made you promise.”
My cheeks grow warm at the memory. “He was such a nice guy. And so mature.”
“He was mature about your vagina and that’s because he had to be.”
Moments later, we step into her apartment and I’m glad for the change of subject. Music thumps from the speakers and we find Linden, his best friend James and his girlfriend Penny in the kitchen drinking beer and laughing.
“God, it’s loud!” Steph screeches and runs over to the stereo to turn it down. She shoots me an apologetic look and the rest of them a scathing one. It tickles me to see how overprotective of Ava she can be sometimes.
“Sorry!” Linden yells and then when he sees me, gives me a wolf whistle, looking me up and down. For a second there I think he’s a lot like his brother – the same cheeky smile with dimples, the same dark brows, thick hair and masculine jawline. But when he comes over and pulls me into a hug, I feel no judgement or ulterior motives. So, no, nothing like Bram at all.
He pulls away and holds me at arm’s length. “You’re looking pretty spiffy, lady.”
“Spiffy?” I repeat. “Never heard that one before.”
“I’ve always been original,” he says with a wink.
He then says hi to Ava who smiles at him shyly like she always does. Ever since she learned he can fly in the sky, albeit in a helicopter, she’s been bashful around him like he’s some kind of superhero.
I say hi James and Penny, complimenting Penny on her new cherry red and rhinestone glasses. The two have always been a bit more alternative than I’m used to and I always feel a bit uncool around them with their tattoos, piercings and fun lives. James runs our “local” bar, The Burgundy Lion, and Penny apparently now works in web design for porn sites. Luckily, they’re hella nice.
I quickly get Ava a cup of orange juice cut with water (I don’t like her to have much sugar) and spend the next half hour sipping my wine slowly and listening to people’s conversations. When someone starts talking about work, Steph deftly switches the subject, knowing I’m not ready to talk about what happened.
While Linden makes my hungry monkey pasta with cheese and I scarf down the sliders and prawn rolls he prepared for the rest of us, my mind keeps wondering when Bram is coming back. It’s just that I want to know that I’ll get my booster seat at the end of the night (those things ain’t cheap), unless he’s also volunteered to drive me home. I’m not sure how his new girlfriend, or whoever she is, will feel about that but I guess it’s sort of a given when you’re dealing with someone like him.
As if he’s heard my thoughts, suddenly the front door opens and in parades Bram, all smiles, with a lean chick dressed in a silver sequined dress, giant silver hoops in her ears and her blonde hair piled high above her head, fastened with silver clips. If she walks under the lights in the middle of the room, she’ll go off like a damn disco ball.
I make my usual snap judgement in two seconds. Her boobs are fake. Her lips are fake and her teeth are fake. She’s fake, period, I think, then I wonder when I became so bitter.
I roll my shoulders as if to physically shed the unwanted feelings from me, and attempt to play nice as Bram introduces her to the room as Astrid. Astrid says hi, we say hi, and then the two of them disappear into the kitchen.
So, as it is, I’m the only single person here. I can’t even bug Ava because she’s scarfing down more food that Linden prepared. Steph makes sure to occupy most of my time, though, chatting about purses and shoes even though I know she’s secretly dying to talk about the real issues in my life. Still, she stays true to her word and doesn’t bring it up.
Eventually it starts getting late. Ava sort of stumbles toward me in an apparent food coma and tugs on my jeans.
“Mommy, I can’t find my bed,” she says.
“That’s because you’re not at home,” I tell her. Just then Steph announces to everyone that they’re moving the party to a bar in the lower Haight. Perfect timing.
“I’ll give you a ride,” Bram says, seeming to appear from out of nowhere. He looks at Steph. “It’s on the way. I’ll take whoever.”
I can’t help but glance at Astrid to see what she thinks of this but she’s still smiling. For a moment I’m envious. Not of her toned body and glossy limbs, but because she doesn’t seem like the jealous type and Lord knows I am.
“Mommy, who are these people?” Ava asks. My heart skips for a minute, then I remember how confusing these kind of gatherings must be for a child.
“Mommy’s friends,” I explain. “We’re going home now, okay? Bram is going to drive us home in his shiny car, remember? Bam?”
She doesn’t nod, just stares at me with a dull expression. Poor kiddo must be so tuckered out. So am I. When a party is over, there is nothing you want more than your bed, making the time between getting from where you are to getting under your covers seem to stretch for eternity. It’s a physical ache.
Thankfully it’s not long before we’re in Bram’s car. Astrid is in the passenger seat and Ava, me and Steph are squished in the back. It’s not exactly meant for three people back there, let alone a booster seat, so Steph is half-sitting on me and giggling.