SermonTrash: “Oh! Malty and Melty!

Sermon

Trash: “Oh! Malty and Melty! It’s great that you defeated the shield and came back. Why is Malty tied up and gagged?”

The queen entered the castle with Melty and Bitch first to issue orders. The other Heroes followed after.

Those three didn’t like that I was leading the way. Though they cannot complain since the queen grandly declared that in the latest incident, I was the one who contributed the most.

Firo pulled the carriage that we all rode in, and the queen informed the three heroes of the situation.

The pope’s death still hasn’t spread within the castle town yet, so the Three Heroes Church is still active though preventative measures have already been taken. All parties concerned are currently being captured and transported.


Queen: “It is noisy when you talk. Can you shut it?”


So declares the queen as she briskly enters the room.

I can hear some extremely angry sounds from here.

As soon as I arrived behind the queen, trash’s face distorts in anger.


Trash: “Why is he here!? Execute him at once!”

Queen: “I won’t let you!”


The queen’s authority is above Trash’s so the Imperial guardsmen don’t move.


Trash: “Grr. That queen is an imposter! Arrest them!”

Queen: “You……Mistaking me for…… Can’t be helped then.”

Queen: “I am the queen who commands the origin of power-“

Trash: “Wha!? This aria-“

Queen: “I have read and deciphered a law of nature. Restrain him with ice!”


Trash’s whole body is frozen in a cage of ice.

He tries to talk to the queen, but his voice doesn’t pass through the cage.


Queen: “Seriously…… When did you become so foolish?”


As she closes her fan, the cage of ice disappears.


Trash: “That level of magical power and quality, you are certainly this one’s wife! What on earth happened!?”


Trash asks the queen with disbelief.


Trash: “Did the shield possibly-!?”


Are you just going to pin any bad thing that happens on to me!? Stop it.

This is why I didn’t want to come to the castle…


Queen: “That’s not it. Seriously, do you actually believe that Hero of the Shield-sama has that power?…… Foolishness.”


The queen approaches the king and — slaps him on the cheek.

Dumbfounded, the trash takes a few steps back while trembling, and for some reason glares at me.


Queen: “This is not Iwatani-sama’s fault, I have already said this a while ago.”

Trash: “Urgh!”


He was slapped again.

Just as the trash was about to retort, the queen gave him another slap.


Queen: “Listen to me, you dared to disregard my order of not abusing your power and discriminating against the hero while I was outside the country!? Do you want a war!?”

Trash: “But, But he-“

Queen: “There are no buts! It is necessary to work together to prepare for the wave, and you are supposed to help with that!”


The queen scolds trash severely to the point that he is not allowed to object.

The purpose of this is to show that the all the heroes are equal.


Queen: “Well then, let us reintroduce ourselves. I am the queen of Melromarc, Mirelia Q Melromarc. I hope you all will take care of me.”

Itsuki: “Ah……Yeah.”

Ren: “Same here……please.”

Motoyasu: “Wow……amazing.”


The other heroes all express their thoughts.

They are completely dumbfounded.


Queen: “Hero of the Shield-sama, I would like to request a little of your time later today.”

Naofumi: “For what?”

Queen: “Let us chat over a meal. Hero-samas except Iwatani-sama, please rest in the guest room.”

Motoyasu: “What about Mein?”


Motoyasu asks while looking worryingly at the bitch, but she is being held down and unable to talk.


Queen: “We’ll be having a little conversation about her standing in the country. Depending on the circumstances you may get another companion, so please prepare accordingly.”

Motoyasu: “O-Okay……”


Thanks to the queen’s attitude, the other heroes were driven out of the throne room.

All that’s remaining is Raphtalia, Firo, Melty, and I.


Trash: “Fu……”


The trash breathes a sigh of relief as he just shown the other heroes an unsightly scene.


Queen: “What’s with the “Fu……” Huh!? Our talk isn’t over yet!”

Trash: “This one is not wrong! This is entirely the shield’s fault!”

Bitch: “That’s right!”


The bitch’s restraints were removed and she stands by trash.

So noisy.


Bitch: “Mama! I was raped by that devil over there!”

Queen: “And what’s wrong with that?”

Bitch: “What’s wrong with that!? Mama, that was my first time! Does that mean nothing to you!?”

Queen: “You were a virgin? Did you think I wasn’t aware? You already lost your virginity.”


Oh, so she wasn’t a virgin from the start?

Now that I think about it, pinning a rape accusation on me as she acted like a small fry adventurer, even if the princess declared that she was raped…… Since the Hero of the Spear saved her, it was at best an attempt, but rumours about me already spread.

The woman adventurer who the Hero of the spear saved, did he even notice she was being treated like a princess in society?

Either way, the bitch turned out to be an outrageous whore. This is the best.


Bitch: “H-How do you know!?”

Queen: “Your assumptions that I had no idea about your affairs are downright presumptuous. In the first place, if you were actually in a relationship with Hero of the Shield Iwatani-sama, then you might still be saved……”


The queen turns her gaze at me for an instant.

Me? With this goddamn bitch?


Naofumi: “Don’t joke around!”

Queen: “Then I won’t pursue. I expect it with Melty.”


A bomb was just dropped.


Trash: “What are you saying!? Cute Melty is still young!”

Naofumi:“Seriously!”


It pains me to have the same opinion as the trash, but being in a relationship with Melty is a little……

I haven’t fallen so low that I would want to be in a relationship with a child.


Melty: “That’s right! What are you saying!”

Firo: “What are you talking about-“

Melty: “Firo-chan does not need to know!”


Well, I’ll just leave this alone.


Queen: “Refused! Melty will marry Hero of the Shield Iwatani-sama.”

Trash: “What did you say……!”

Queen: “Do you really understand? There are very little opportunities as perfect as this one to befriend old enemies, and what did you do?”

Trash: “What do you mean?”


I also understand.

Silt Welt probably believes in the Hero of the Shield. That would make them this country’s arch-nemesis.

If the object of faith, Hero of the Shield, marries a woman of Melromarc and is a saint here...

Something like that happening will greatly improve relations between the two countries, and they may even become allies.

The situation would be perfect if the Hero of the Shield also has a child under these circumstances.

There would be no chance that they could become enemies after that.


Naofumi: “Unfortunately, it is already too late.”

Queen: “You think so?……Melty, do you best for Hero of the Shield Iwatani-sama.”

Melty: “N-no!”


At the queen’s proposal of a political marriage, Melty refuses and blushes a deep red.

Well, it would be unpleasant to be married for politics at this age.

Of course, I won’t take any actions to let this country prosper.

Just give it up on this.


Queen: “Oh? I heard from the shadow that Melty might have a chance.”

Naofumi: “She had bad eyesight.”

Melty: “Mu……”

Naofumi: “What. Oh…… did you hate having been seen as a child?”


What a troublesome age.


Queen: “It seems there is still some hope left. How about it? Melty will be the queen in the future. Won’t it be good to break this country from the inside with a puppet?”

Naofumi: “In that case I would have been made your puppet. More than anything, I do not wish to remain in the world.”

Queen: “There are no problems then…… Just get Melty pregnant with Iwatani-sama’s child.”


……What an unpleasant thing to say.

In short, I can only return to my original world if I father a child as the Hero of the Shield with the royal family.

Indeed, this would be very effective for diplomacy.

It’s actually quite brilliant. Is this a manga?


Queen: “All the chances of having an incompetent daughter and husband are removed. It is good that Iwatani-sama is still single. You will win over an ally. If you domesticate her, then the next queen will be in the palm of your hands.”

Bitch: “Who would be with someone so ugly!”


What does this bitch want?

Can’t you guys just understand my viewpoint–


Raphtalia, Firo, and Melty: “””He is not ugly!”””


Raphtalia, Firo, and Melty refuted all at once.

What is up with all of you?


Bitch: “What? I just stated the facts. You all being angry and retorting just makes it true.”

Queen: “Let’s see. The fact that you are not a virgin is also undisputed.”

Bitch: “There is no evidence anywhere. Ask Motoyasu-sama. I was a virgin.”

Queen: “No, I’ve known this a long time ago. Your speech and behaviour does not match. Malty, if you’re going to lie, at least make it believable. Although you may be able to deceive the Hero of the Spear-sama, it is impossible for you to deceive me…… In the first place, you used your body to have your way since the old days-“


And so the queen begins a sermon on the bitch.

However, it’s clear that the bitch isn’t actually listening; in fact no one is actually listening.

It seems the queen’s preaching has become a habit.


Queen: “When your younger sister was involved in a conspiracy, you not only took advantage of it without protecting her, but you even tried to dispose of her with the help of the church.”


Eh?

The bitch wasn’t taken advantage of by the church? Was it trash?

Perhaps these two are just stupid……


Queen: “You probably thought you were going to be the next queen too.”

Bitch: “N-No you’re wrong!”


Well……based on her magic chant, she certainly desired it. In her chant she actually called herself the queen.

The queen just announced that the next q