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[Salinan]Disalin!
Chapter 8: Beginning of romance! LOVE IN AIR!
Thinking about the way he had treated Jodha, filled him with guilt and unexplained feeling of anger. Jalal himself was puzzled with his emotions and had lots of questions in his mind. Why he is feeling her sorrow? He should be feeling content with this conquest, but then why these tears in my eyes and sting in my heart?? Why my heart is crying seeing her in this condition?? I don't have a heart then why I have so much unbearable suffocating pain? Why I am feeling so much stifle? Every time I hurt her, I feel miserable. Jodha's truth, her innocence and purity always upsets me. She is the only person who is not frightened of me.
He felt annoyed with her but at the same time admired her purity too.
I should appreciate her selfless nature, she sacrificed her entire life to save her land and today she gave her dignity to save her parents respect. Entire life she worshiped god and how innocently she punishes herself thinking she is punishing god. Her faith on god is so divine. I have not seen any person who is so magnanimous and pure hearted. Today she didn't even argue or said a single word but her silence was so powerful, her eyes had so much grief. Her love for Krishna is so divine, she is so much devoted to god... she is so untainted and celestially pure. Why do I hate her and for what? Just because she told me that she has killed Mughal soldiers and wanted to kill me, I punished her this brutually. Anyway when she told me all this, she didn't even knew that she was talking to me, Jalalluddin, The Mughal King himself.
When I met her for the first time she was fiercely, happy, proud, full of life, and so innocent. What have I done to her? I have taken away her smile, I have not seen even a small smile on her face since our marriage, Her beautiful innocent smile has vanished, her face looks so pale, today she followed everything like a puppet, She doesn't even fight or argue anymore, little by little I am killing her from inside.
But why am I thinking about her so much?? Why she is so important for me? Why her rejection hurt me so much? Why I desire to see her day and night. Why as soon as I see her I forget everything? I feel like she has captured me in her divine spell. When she is near me my heart feels at peace but at the same time her ignorance gives me deep a sting in my heart.
His own thinking was now slowly slaughtering him. He had never experienced these emotions before. Unknowingly His dead heart was melting for Jodha.
At last, he decided that he will not hurt her anymore and will give her the same respect as other begums. He has insulted her enough in his ego. He has not given her importance as a begum yet but he will change everything now.
In Maham Anga's Chamber
Adham screamed at Maham loudly, "You do not love your own son. How could you support Jalal instead of me all the time?"
Maham retorted back at him and exasperatedly replied "When you will learn politics? Stop behaving like a brainless child? Conquering a sultanat is not a child's game, when will you understand me and my intentions? I hate Jodha begum to the extreme. She doesn't deserve to be a queen. These Rajvanshis look good only as our "GULAMS" (servants). I will teach her a big lesson and soon send her back to Amer forever. But till then you need to have patience."
In Jodha's Chamber
Hamida came to Jodha's room to meet her as she was out from palace for about three weeks on some political work. After coming back she heard about the way Jalal was treating her. She knew Jalal and Jodha had no husband wife relations but she had hopes that one day Jodha will change Jalal.
Jodha was preparing for pooja (prayer) when she saw Hamida banoo. She gave her a pleasant smile and softly said "Pranam Ammijaan, how are you doing?"
Hamida cheerfully smiled and replied "I am doing wonderful my dear. How about you? Are you adjusting well in Agra?? It seems like you are not happy in Agra. Are you missing your family and Amer?"
Jodha with casual tone replied "No Ammijaan, nothing like that, I am happy here, I have no complaints."
Hamida caressed on her cheeks and with care told her again "if you have any problem come to me anytime, I am like your mother" then she kissed Jodha on her forehead and walked out gracefully.
While preparing for pooja (prayer) Jodha was talking to Moti about everything that happened in Jalal's chamber. "Moti, I don't know why but at the last second Shenshah held my hand and stopped me from eating and told me to go do pooja (prayer). I am surprised he still remembers that I don't eat without prayer. You know Moti, if I had eaten that bite, I would have died in guilt. But it is so difficult to understand him, I am not sure but I felt his own actions were giving him pain. His words were filled with ego and cruelty but his eyes had intense sadness in them."
Moti thoughtfully said: "I think Shenshah is not that bad. He is very nice to people whom he loves..."
Cutting Moti in between Jodha quickly said "And he is very hurtful to those he hates and he will not miss any opportunity to take his revenge from me."
Moti with argument said "but Jodha, so far he has kept his promise of not touching you without your permission and he also allowed you to continue in your religion, that too against many people wish, even in the court he stand up for you against Adham. Jodha the way he took care of you that night, I can't forget he indeed looked in pain and worried for you. In harem hall when he realized there is no chair for you, immediately he arranged it and make you seat on Rukaiya begum's chair and invitation it is possible that maid made a mistake. You have also insulted him many times, you walked out of harem hall and called him liar in front of Rukaiya begum and Salima begum."
Jodha angrily said "Moti, why are you talking so much in Shenshah's favor? Are you my friend or his?? Let me just finish my pooja (prayer) otherwise that Jallad (devil) will punish me for taking long time for pooja (prayer)."
Jodha felt much better after talking to Moti and Hamida. Jodha's emotions were on a roller coaster ride, one day she thought high about Jalal but next day he would do something which brought him all the way down again. Every day in Agra, her days were full of surprises and shocks.
Jodha was sitting in front of Krishna with lots of guilt, she apologized to Krishna for not keeping her promise and thanked him for saving her from committing sin.
She started her prayer with singing Aarti in her melodious voice. Jalal came quietly and stood behind her while she was performing pooja (prayer) and Aarti. He was completely engrossed in each and every word of her divine prayer and adored her singing.
After finishing pooja (prayer) she turned with Aarti thal in her hand and saw Jalal standing behind her and waiting for her prayer to finish.
Jalal waited for Jodha to give him Aarti but Jodha decided not offer him as he doesn't know how to take it.
Jalal broke the silence and asked "Jodha, won't you give me aarti today?"
Jodha got stunned and stared at him with mystified expressions. She couldn't believe what she heard, 'HE WANTS AARTI' she thought.
Seeing her standing like a statue Jalal asked her again with little louder tone "Won't you give me aarti?"
Jodha glanced down at his shoes with dark expression and replied in firm tone "Shenshah, first of all go out of the chamber and take off your shoes and remember never enter in this chamber with your shoes. Walking in temple with shoes means disrespecting god.
Her firm and disrespectful tone really annoyed Jalal, but he gulped his fury and looked at her pointedly and walk out of her chamber to take off his shoes then he came inside with bear feet.
Jodha with confused look, forwarded the aarti thal towards him. He first took aarti in the correct way and then took a pinch of sindoor from the plate and swiftly filled her maang.
Jalal knew very well that she won't like this but he couldn't control himself from doing that and also he probably wanted to remind her once more that she is married to him and belongs to him only.
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