“Mom!”The light from the window lin

“Mom!”
The light from the window lingered behind my eyelids. I vaguely felt aware of Elisa’s small form in my arms. Her hair was scattered across my skin. I felt rested and refreshed even though I was still asleep.
“Mommy, make us breakfast! Uncle Ethan won’t make French toast.”
I sat up in bed, knocking Elisa to the side. What time was it? When I looked at the clock, it was ten in the morning. My alarm was set for six. I grabbed my phone and looked at it. It didn’t go off and I set the time right. I wasn’t sure what happened.
Elisa sighed. “I’ll be there in a second.” She stretched on the bed then reached for me, wrapping her arms around me.
“My alarm didn’t go off,” I said in a frantic voice.
“What happened?”
“I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. The kids will be happy to see you.”
I looked at her, suspicion clouding my mind. “You turned off my alarm?”
She grabbed my face and kissed me. I immediately melted at the touch of her lips. I hadn’t kissed her in so long. She ran her fingers through my hair and pulled me toward her. Paralyzed by her embrace, I let her climb on top of me and kiss me harder. Against my restraint, I let my hands run through her hair and cup her face. Her cheek was so soft. I loved every inch of her. She was gorgeous.
Elisa pulled off her shirt and I felt my heart accelerate. Her breasts popped out of her bra and looked round and firm. I knew I needed to stop this. She was seducing me and I had to end it. When she kissed me again, I became weak, giving into my desires for her. I never felt more attracted to a woman than I was to her. She was breathtaking. While we kissed, she pulled off her pants then her underwear.
“Stop,” I said.
She grabbed my hand and placed my fingers over her cunt. “I’m wet for you.”
I moaned. “Damn. Stop.”
“No.”
I slipped my fingers inside her and watched her mouth open in a moan. “Jared.”
“Mommy!” Becky wailed again.
We both ignored her.
Elisa reached her hand in my pants and started to rub me. “Make love to me.”
I wanted to stop but I couldn’t. “Ellie.”
“Tell me you love me.”
“I love you like crazy.”
She unbuttoned my pants and pulled them off. I didn’t stop her. I wanted her too much at that point. I was too far gone. She removed my shirt and I let her. She straddled my hips then inserted me inside of her.
“Fuck,” I whispered. She was so damn wet.
She moved on top of me, pressing her forehead against mine. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, Ellie.”
Elisa had successfully seduced me but I didn’t care.
She rocked my hips repeatedly, taking me completely inside her. With every thrust, I felt myself crumble more and more. She felt so good, so amazing. Her lips were on mine in a fiery embrace. I ran my hands through her hair as I made love to her. It always felt right with her. I felt myself about to come but I didn’t want to. I wanted to last as long as possible, enjoy this moment.
Her lips stopped moving and she just breathed into my mouth. “Oh yeah.”
I thrust into her harder. “Come for me.”
“I am,” she said as she bit her lip.
I pressed my lips against her ear. “I love you.”
“I’m yours, Jared. Completely.”
I moaned.
A small yell escaped her lips as she finished her moment. I didn’t hear Becky again so I assumed she abandoned her request for breakfast. I thrust into her harder and felt the orgasm start. It burst from my balls and ignited.
“Ellie.”
“Yeah.”
“Ellie.”
“Come on. I want all of you.”
I continued to come. “I’m giving it to you.”
“Yeah.”
When I was done, I pressed my forehead against hers, catching my breath. She looked into my eyes while she breathed heavily. Then she kissed my forehead and rubbed her nose against mine. The intimate touch made me melt.
When Becky banged on the door again, Elisa sighed then climbed off me. I moaned at the loss of her warmth.
“I’m coming, honey.”
I covered my face as I realized what just happened. Now I made things more complicated. I couldn’t be in this relationship and I just made the break up even harder for both of us. I knew what Elisa was trying to do. If we slept together, made love, then spent time with her kids, I would give in because I couldn’t live without her. It was a brilliant plan.
I rolled out of bed then dressed myself. I hoped Ethan and Sadie weren’t home. I didn’t want to explain myself to them. I wasn’t sure what the kids would think when they saw me. They would probably be confused.
Elisa opened the door and Becky came into the room. When she saw me, her eyes lit up like fireworks on the fourth of July and she squealed.
“Uncle Jared!” she dashed to me then wrapped her arms around my legs. “I missed you.”
I closed my eyes and felt the tears bubble. I kneeled down and wrapped her in my arms, hiding my face from her view. I held her for a long moment and fought against the tears. I missed her and Tommy so much. I never thought about having kids, and now I had two of them. She felt so small in my arms.
Elisa watched us with a smile on her lips.
I regained my composure then pulled away. “How are you, beautiful?”
“Good! I made more paintings. Mommy let me put them everywhere.”
I nodded. “That’s where they belong.”
Tommy came into the room. He stopped when he saw me. A smile stretched across his face but he said nothing. He ran to me as fast as he could. He almost fell forward but I caught him in my arms. “Where have you been?” he cried. “I couldn’t find you.”
My eyes started to moisten again. Damn. “I’ve—just been busy, man.”
“Cars aren’t fun without you.”
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say. My life was empty and meaningless without these kids. I finally pulled away and stood up.
“I want breakfast!” Becky said.
Elisa smiled at them. “Alright, alright. I heard you.”
“Then why didn’t you come?” she asked.
Her cheeks blushed. “I was busy.”
Becky and Tommy walked down the hallway and went into the kitchen. Elisa and I followed right behind them. I followed the same routine that I did before we broke up. I sat in my usual seat at the table. The children spoke to me while Elisa cooked.
When Ethan and Sadie walked into the room, they both flinched. I felt my heart fall. I didn’t want to be seen. Sadie and Ethan sat down and looked at me but didn’t comment, which I was grateful for. I assumed their silence had something to do with the kids.
Elisa served breakfast and we ate in silence. Normally we were talkative during the meal but it was awkward that morning. Ethan and Sadie were curious what my presence meant to the relationship. Elisa smiled at me from across the table, acting like everything was fine. I sincerely hoped she didn’t assume that we were back together. She tricked me, disabled my alarm, then seduced me. I’m not blaming her—I should have been stronger—but she still brought this on. Her last defense was the kids. She knew how much I loved them. Perhaps if I was still willing to leave her, I might stay for the kids. I had to harden my heart and not think about that. I still couldn’t forget what Elisa did to me. I wasn’t one to hold grudges, but I couldn’t stand the idea of getting hurt again. Perhaps sleeping together didn’t mean anything to her, but that was a promise to me—a sign of her love and commitment to me. She had lied to me and broke my heart. I couldn’t do that again.
When breakfast was finished, Elisa cleared the table and washed the dishes in the sink. Like usual, I helped the kids from their booster seats and led them to the living room where their box of toys were. Ethan and Sadie sat on the couch and stared at me. I avoided their look. When I couldn’t stand the stares any longer, I went into the kitchen.
When I approached Elisa, I opened my mouth to speak but she kissed me instead, silencing me. I relished her embrace for a moment before I pulled away.
“I should go,” I whispered.
“No.”
My eyes softened. “Elisa, I’m just going to say everything that I already said.”
She closed her eyes for a moment. “You belong here with us. Please don’t go. Last night and today meant nothing to you?”
“Of course,” I said quickly. “But I didn’t want any of that to happen. You’re the one that disabled my alarm and climbed on top of me. I wanted to avoid all of that.” She looked away. “I should have stopped it but I was too weak.”
“Well, keep being weak.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“I can’t trust you, Elisa. I said that already. You aren’t ready for a relationship, and I’m too hurt to be patient with you.”
“I am ready. I’ll marry you today if that’s what it takes to convince you.”
I sighed. “That isn’t how I would want it to go.”
“Jared, please don’t do this.”
“I hate hurting you and I’m sorry for that, but—we’re over.”
She looked away from me then stared at the dishes in the sink. I said nothing for a long time while she composed herself. The kids and her brother were in the next room. I knew she wanted to hide behind a mask. “Then go,” she said. She didn’t look at me.
“Are you going to walk me out?”
“No,” she whispered. “I’m not going to watch you leave my life forever. I can’t do it.”
I felt the tears under my eyes but I blinked them back. I hated hearing the despair in her voice. It was worse than hearing her cry. I came up behind her and kissed her on the back of the neck. “I’ll always love you, Ellie.” I stepped away then walked through the living room without looking at anyone. I didn’t say goodbye to the kids. I couldn’t. It was too hard.
When I closed the door behind me, I broke down again. The tears fell down my face in waves. I shouldn’t have stayed overnight. I shouldn’t have made this more painful for the both of us.