She cried in the shower, unable to

She cried in the shower, unable to block out the memories. Memories of Travis with her in the tiled stall, running his lathered hands over her until she was weak and trembling, lifting her against the slick wall, his strong arms holding her easily as he took her, his mouth fiercely gentle as he swallowed her cries, as she convulsed around his hard length. That memory, torturous enough, was eclipsed by another: of Travis’s face in the office, his expression icy as he contemptuously degraded the love they’d made, deliberately turning it into something base and coarse.
She cried, hating him with all the power she possessed, knowing that even her fiercest hatred for him was no match for her love. After her hatred had faded away, her love, her aching, hopeless love for Travis, would remain, forever and always.
She probably would have stayed in the shower, letting her tears run like rain, if not for the loud banging on the bathroom door and Jade’s shout of “Jordan’s here!”
She pulled on clothes, grabbing anything that came to hand, doing so only because Jordan and the kids were here and needed her to be strong and not to dissolve in heartbroken misery herself.
She hurried down the hall and the stairs. Jade had already thrown open the front door. When Margot joined her on the bottom porch step, she looked over at Margot’s face, frowned, and opened her mouth.
Margot silenced her with a quick shake of her head.
The minivan’s front doors opened. Jordan slid out of the passenger side and Margot hurried around the van toward her, zeroing in on Jordan’s red-rimmed eyes and too pale face.
Hugging her fiercely, she stepped back. “It’s good to have you here, safe and sound.”
“I just really needed to be with you, to be home—My God, Margot, you look terrible. What’s happened?”
“It’s nothing. It’s just been a really long, bad day.” Impulsively Margot hugged her again, this time noting the unmistakable mound of Jordan’s stomach. Silently she damned Richard for his callous selfishness. What kind of a man cheated on his pregnant wife? “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Margot, I feel so lost,” Jordan admitted brokenly.
She closed her eyes. “I know. We’ll talk inside.”
Jordan spotted Jade, who’d been hovering a few feet away, and with a wobbly smile she went over to give her a hug.
Composing her features, Margot went over to help the babysitter with Kate and Max.
“Hi, Susannah. Thanks for driving Jordan and the kids. And you can stay the night?”
“Yes,” Susannah replied.
“You’re a lifesaver. Now, where are my favorite little rascals?” Sliding open the van’s back door, she exclaimed, “Aha! I’ve found them. Kate, honey, how on earth do these child seats work? Oh, I see, thanks. Max, you look more than ready to be liberated. And oof,” she grunted theatrically, lifting him out. “You’ve gotten really heavy! You must have grown in these past few weeks.”
“Hey, Jade,” she called over her shoulder. “Mind taking Max for me? I need both hands to free Kate from this contraption.” She passed the toddler to Jade with a whisper of “Thanks.”
“What’s going on? Why have you been crying? Did you and Travis fight?” Jade demanded.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get over it,” she lied.
Quickly shifting her attention to her niece, she released her from the child seat, then took her small hand in hers so Kate could clamber down.
A mountain of possessions were crammed in the back of the van. “Kate, hon, is there something here you can carry? Your teddy bear? That works for me. How about you take Max’s puppy dog, too? You can lay them on your beds upstairs. They must need a nap after such a long car ride.”
Max and Kate were worn out from the trip. After a quick supper of chicken, pasta, and peas, Jordan and Susannah ushered them upstairs for a bath and a story and then bedtime. Jordan came down to the kitchen a short time later.
“I told Susannah I’d bring her up a plate. She’s exhausted, too. The Beltway was insane. What did Ellie leave for dinner?”
“Besides the grilled chicken? There’s asparagus, and the makings for a salad.” Ellie Banner had finally realized that the lumberjack meals she was fixing weren’t the ideal menu for a model and a teenage girl. “Sit down, Jordan. Even I can get a meal like this together.”
“No, I’ll do it.” Jordan was already opening the refrigerator. “It helps to have something to do. Otherwise I start to cry. And I would so like not to cry for a little bit.”
Margot could understand that.
Jordan pulled out the platter with the chicken on it, found the asparagus and then the clear plastic bags filled with lettuce greens. Grabbing a cucumber from the bottom bin, she asked, “Where’s Jade?”
“She’s in the shower. Let’s talk, Jordan. Tell me what happened.” When her sister shuddered visibly, she hurriedly added, “But if you don’t feel up to it—”
She shook her head. “No, I should talk about it. It was awful, Margot. The worst was having to listen to his lies destroy our marriage when the truth was literally in my outstretched palm. I’ve never felt so used, so betrayed.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.” Despair laced her voice. “What can I do? I have two young children who adore their father and I’m almost five months pregnant with his third child. I suppose we’ll go to marriage counseling—though right now I don’t see how therapy could help me get past the pain of what Richard’s done and said. Do you know when he finally confessed to the affair, he said that he’d fallen in love with Cynthia—that’s her name—because she needed him? He claimed that was what was wrong with our marriage. I was too ‘capable and self-sufficient.’ God, Margot, he made me out to be some kind of a Martha Stewart robot,” she ended with an anguished sob.
Margot crossed the kitchen and wrapped her arms about her sister’s heaving shoulders. “Don’t you dare believe him. You’re a great wife, a fabulous mother, and a wonderful, kind person. Richard’s nothing but a rat bastard.”
“What? What was that you called him?” Jordan asked, hiccuping.
“Rat bastard. Compliments of Jade.”
“You told her?”
“I was picking her up at school when you called,” she explained. “She knew something was up the second she saw my face. I’m only just beginning to realize how sensitive she is. Besides, she’d have figured it out the second you arrived with the kids. I guess I also told her because I wanted her to know she’s not the only one having a rough time. I hope you’re not upset I told, Jordan.”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t mind. Tell me what’s been going on with her and you. I want to hear everything, really, I do. Maybe I need to know someone else is having a rough time, too,” she said sadly.
Margot went over to the cutlery drawer. She could at least set the table while she recounted Jade’s recent trials. She told Jordan everything: from Officer Cooper bringing a semiconscious Jade home in his patrol car to Jade’s car-washing fiasco with Rob Cooper, or RoboCop, as Margot now thought of him, and finally to their meeting with the school principal regarding the Internet bullying Jade was being subjected to.
Jordan had stopped slicing the cucumber to stare aghast. “Jade had all that to deal with? I’m surprised she didn’t do something far more reckless and stupid. She must have been hurting so badly. God, I hate bitchy teenagers.” With vicious strokes of her knife, she quickly finished cutting the cucumber and arranged the slices over the salad.
“But I don’t get this stuff about Nicole,” she said. “It’s simply preposterous to think she’d cheat on Dad. That she would flirt with a handsome man to within an inch of her life, definitely. But not actually cheat.”
Margot looked at her incredulously.
“No, I’m not being willfully naïve,” Jordan said, placing the asparagus neatly on the plate she was preparing for Susannah. “It’s not like I don’t have firsthand experience that spouses cheat and then lie like rugs. But Nicole, from day one of her marriage, was obsessed with being Mrs. RJ Radcliffe. Dad was such a larger-than-life figure, I don’t think any other man could compare.”
“I found Nicole’s diary in Dad’s desk.”
“Nicole kept a diary?” Jordan’s astonishment was clear. “Did you read it? What did it say?”
“I only read a tiny portion, enough to understand why Dad fired Travis. He thought Travis was the one having an affair with her. I couldn’t read more. I—was too upset by the idea.”
Jordan shook her head. “There’s another notion that’s beyond absurd—of Nicole and Travis carrying on. Nicole was a snob. She’d never risk an affair with someone she considered beneath her socially, precisely because of how mortified she would be if it ever came out in the open. Besides, Travis wouldn’t do something so repugnant, never mind that it was always you he watched.”
“Did he?” How pathetic that she needed to hear that.
“Like a hawk. I think he’s always wanted you.”
Yes, that was the problem. Travis had wanted her. He’d liked her body, found her sexy and all that. But he hadn’t loved her.
“Margot,” Jordan said, interrupting her thoughts. “I’m not sure I’m up to it right now but I’d like to take a look at Nicole’s diary. Perhaps I can piece together what was really going on.”
“All right. But Jordan, Jade doesn’t know about the diary.”
“I understand.” She was silent as she poured dressing on the salad and tossed it. “Do you suppose Dad died believing Nicole was unfaithful?”
“I know he died loving her. Remember how he asked about Nicole at the hospital? She was his first thought.”
“But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t still tormented by thoughts of her infidelity.”
“That’s what Edward Crandall seems to think,” Margot muttered, coming over and placing the chicken breasts on the plates.
“Edward Crandall? How does he know about any of this?”
“Warburg’s gossip mill,” Margot said by way of explanation.

Hasil (Bahasa Indonesia) 1:

Dia menangis di kamar mandi, tidak dapat menghalangi kenangan. Kenangan Travis dengannya di kios keramik, berjalan tangan lathered atas dia sampai ia lemah dan bergetar, mengangkat dia ke dinding yang licin, tangannya yang kuat memegang dia mudah ketika ia mengambil hatinya mulut sangat lembut sebagai ia menelan menangis, karena ia kejang-kejang di sekitar panjang nya keras. Bahwa memori, cukup, menyiksa terhalang oleh orang lain: Travis wajah di kantor, ekspresi dingin karena ia sewenang-wenangnya terdegradasi cinta mereka telah dibuat, sengaja mengubahnya menjadi sesuatu dasar dan kasar.Dia menangis, membenci dia dengan kekuatan yang dia miliki, mengetahui bahwa bahkan Nya kebencian sengit baginya adalah tidak cocok untuk cinta. Setelah dia kebencian telah memudar, cinta, dia sakit, cinta tanpa harapan untuk Travis, akan tetap, selamanya dan selalu.Dia mungkin akan tetap tinggal di kamar mandi, membiarkan matanya menjalankan seperti hujan, jika tidak untuk keras membenturkan di pintu kamar mandi dan Jade berteriak dari "Jordan's di sini!"Dia menarik pakaian, meraih apa pun yang datang ke tangan, melakukannya hanya karena Jordan dan anak-anak di sini dan membutuhkannya untuk menjadi kuat dan tidak larut dalam kesengsaraan patah hati sendiri.Dia bergegas ke lorong dan tangga. Jade telah dilemparkan membuka pintu depan. Ketika Margot bergabung dengannya di bawah Beranda langkah, ia memandang wajah Margot's, disukai, dan membuka mulutnya.Margot dibungkam dia dengan cepat menggelengkan kepalanya.Multi Purpose Vehicle pintu dibuka. Jordan meluncur dari sisi penumpang dan Margot bergegas di sekitar van terhadapnya, zeroing dalam pada Jordan's berbingkai merah mata dan terlalu pucat wajah.Memeluk dia keras, ia melangkah mundur. "Itu baik untuk memiliki Anda di sini, selamat dan sehat.""Saya hanya benar-benar perlu untuk Anda, rumah-saya Tuhan, Margot, Anda tampak mengerikan. Apa yang terjadi?""Itu ada. Hanya telah benar-benar lama, buruk hari." Impulsif Margot memeluknya lagi, kali ini mencatat gundukan itu jelas Jordan's perut. Diam-diam ia terkutuk Richard untuk nya keegoisan tak berperasaan. Apa orang yang mengkhianati istrinya yang sedang hamil? "Saya sangat senang Anda di sini.""Margot, saya merasa begitu hilang," Jordan mengakui brokenly.Dia memejamkan mata. "Aku tahu. Kita akan bicara dalam."Jordan melihat batu giok, yang telah telah melayang beberapa kaki jauhnya, dan dengan senyum goyah dia pergi ke memberinya pelukan.Menyusun kecantikannya, Margot pergi untuk membantu babysitter dengan Kate dan Max."Hai, Susannah. Terima kasih untuk mengemudi Jordan dan anak-anak. Dan Anda bisa menginap malam?""Ya," Susannah menjawab."Kau penyelamat. Sekarang, dimana ada bajingan kecil favorit saya?" Geser membuka pintu belakang van, dia berseru, "Aha! Saya telah menemukan mereka. Kate, madu, bagaimana di bumi melakukan anak ini kursi kerja? Oh, aku melihat, terima kasih. Max, Anda melihat lebih dari siap untuk dibebaskan. Dan oof,"dia menggerutu teatrikal, mengangkat dia keluar. "Kau sudah sangat berat! Anda harus telah berkembang dalam beberapa minggu terakhir ini.""Hei, Jade," ia disebut atas bahunya. "Pikiran yang mengambil maks untuk saya? Saya perlu kedua tangan untuk membebaskan Kate dari alat ini." Dia lulus balita untuk Jade dengan bisikan "Terima kasih.""Apa yang terjadi? Mengapa Anda menangis? Apakah Anda dan melawan Travis?" Jade menuntut."Jangan khawatir, aku akan mendapatkan lebih dari itu," dia berbohong.Cepat menggeser perhatiannya kepada keponakannya, dia merilis dia dari kursi anak, kemudian memegang tangannya kecil miliknya sehingga Kate bisa memanjat turun.Gunung harta berdesakan di belakang van. "Kate, hon, ada sesuatu di sini Anda dapat membawa? Boneka beruang Anda? Yang bekerja untuk saya. Bagaimana Anda mengambil Max anak anjing, juga? Anda dapat meletakkan mereka di tempat tidur Anda di lantai atas. Mereka harus membutuhkan tidur siang setelah seperti naik mobil lama."Max dan Kate dipakai dari perjalanan. Setelah makan malam cepat ayam, pasta dan kacang polong, Jordan dan Susannah diantar mereka lantai atas untuk mandi dan cerita, dan kemudian tidur. Jordan turun ke dapur waktu singkat kemudian."Kataku Susannah akan membawanya ke piring. Dia lelah, terlalu. Jalan lingkar adalah gila. Apa Apakah Ellie Tinggalkan untuk makan malam?""Selain ayam panggang? Ada asparagus, dan bakat untuk salad." Ellie Banner akhirnya menyadari bahwa makanan penebang dia memperbaiki tidak menu ideal untuk model dan seorang gadis remaja. "Duduk, Jordan. Bahkan aku bisa makan seperti ini bersama-sama.""Tidak, aku akan melakukannya." Jordan sudah membuka kulkas. "Hal ini membantu untuk memiliki sesuatu untuk dilakukan. Sebaliknya saya mulai menangis. Dan saya sangat ingin untuk tidak menangis untuk sedikit."Margot bisa memahami bahwa.Jordan mengeluarkan piring dengan ayam di atasnya, menemukan asparagus dan kemudian kantong plastik bening yang dipenuhi dengan daun selada hijau. Grabbing mentimun dari bawah bin, dia bertanya, "mana adalah Jade?""Dia adalah di kamar mandi. Mari kita bicara, Jordan. Katakan padaku apa yang terjadi." Ketika adiknya shuddered tampak, buru-buru Dia menambahkan, "tetapi jika Anda tidak merasa itu —"Ia menggelengkan kepalanya. "Tidak, saya harus bicara tentang hal itu. Itu mengerikan, Margot. Yang terburuk adalah harus mendengarkan kebohongan-nya menghancurkan pernikahan kami ketika kebenaran secara harfiah di telapak tangan saya terulur. Aku tidak pernah merasa begitu terbiasa, jadi dikhianati.""Apa yang Anda akan lakukan?""Saya tidak tahu." Putus asa dicampur suaranya. "Apa yang dapat saya lakukan? Aku punya dua anak muda yang memuja ayah mereka dan saya hampir lima bulan hamil anaknya yang ketiga. Saya kira kita akan pergi untuk konseling perkawinan — walaupun sekarang saya tidak melihat bagaimana terapi dapat membantu saya mendapatkan melewati rasa sakit dari apa yang Richard dilakukan dan berkata. Apakah Anda tahu Kapan dia akhirnya mengaku affair, dia berkata bahwa dia telah jatuh cinta dengan Cynthia — itulah namanya — karena dia membutuhkannya? Dia mengklaim bahwa itu adalah apa yang salah dengan pernikahan kami. Aku terlalu 'mampu dan mandiri. Allah, Margot, ia membuat saya menjadi beberapa jenis robot Martha Stewart, "ia berakhir dengan canda sedih.Margot crossed the kitchen and wrapped her arms about her sister’s heaving shoulders. “Don’t you dare believe him. You’re a great wife, a fabulous mother, and a wonderful, kind person. Richard’s nothing but a rat bastard.”“What? What was that you called him?” Jordan asked, hiccuping.“Rat bastard. Compliments of Jade.”“You told her?”“I was picking her up at school when you called,” she explained. “She knew something was up the second she saw my face. I’m only just beginning to realize how sensitive she is. Besides, she’d have figured it out the second you arrived with the kids. I guess I also told her because I wanted her to know she’s not the only one having a rough time. I hope you’re not upset I told, Jordan.”She shook her head. “No, I don’t mind. Tell me what’s been going on with her and you. I want to hear everything, really, I do. Maybe I need to know someone else is having a rough time, too,” she said sadly.Margot went over to the cutlery drawer. She could at least set the table while she recounted Jade’s recent trials. She told Jordan everything: from Officer Cooper bringing a semiconscious Jade home in his patrol car to Jade’s car-washing fiasco with Rob Cooper, or RoboCop, as Margot now thought of him, and finally to their meeting with the school principal regarding the Internet bullying Jade was being subjected to.Jordan had stopped slicing the cucumber to stare aghast. “Jade had all that to deal with? I’m surprised she didn’t do something far more reckless and stupid. She must have been hurting so badly. God, I hate bitchy teenagers.” With vicious strokes of her knife, she quickly finished cutting the cucumber and arranged the slices over the salad.“But I don’t get this stuff about Nicole,” she said. “It’s simply preposterous to think she’d cheat on Dad. That she would flirt with a handsome man to within an inch of her life, definitely. But not actually cheat.”Margot looked at her incredulously.“No, I’m not being willfully naïve,” Jordan said, placing the asparagus neatly on the plate she was preparing for Susannah. “It’s not like I don’t have firsthand experience that spouses cheat and then lie like rugs. But Nicole, from day one of her marriage, was obsessed with being Mrs. RJ Radcliffe. Dad was such a larger-than-life figure, I don’t think any other man could compare.”“I found Nicole’s diary in Dad’s desk.”“Nicole kept a diary?” Jordan’s astonishment was clear. “Did you read it? What did it say?”“I only read a tiny portion, enough to understand why Dad fired Travis. He thought Travis was the one having an affair with her. I couldn’t read more. I—was too upset by the idea.”Jordan shook her head. “There’s another notion that’s beyond absurd—of Nicole and Travis carrying on. Nicole was a snob. She’d never risk an affair with someone she considered beneath her socially, precisely because of how mortified she would be if it ever came out in the open. Besides, Travis wouldn’t do something so repugnant, never mind that it was always you he watched.”“Did he?” How pathetic that she needed to hear that.“Like a hawk. I think he’s always wanted you.”Yes, that was the problem. Travis had wanted her. He’d liked her body, found her sexy and all that. But he hadn’t loved her.“Margot,” Jordan said, interrupting her thoughts. “I’m not sure I’m up to it right now but I’d like to take a look at Nicole’s diary. Perhaps I can piece together what was really going on.”“All right. But Jordan, Jade doesn’t know about the diary.”“I understand.” She was silent as she poured dressing on the salad and tossed it. “Do you suppose Dad died believing Nicole was unfaithful?”“I know he died loving her. Remember how he asked about Nicole at the hospital? She was his first thought.”“But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t still tormented by thoughts of her infidelity.”“That’s what Edward Crandall seems to think,” Margot muttered, coming over and placing the chicken breasts on the plates.“Edward Crandall? How does he know about any of this?”“Warburg’s gossip mill,” Margot said by way of explanation.