Chapter 20 - Jalals EXTREME ANGER!!

Chapter 20 - Jalals EXTREME ANGER!!

Absolute stillness. Seemed like everything was lifeless. Winds stopped blowing. Birds stopped chirping. Beautiful waterfalls around the pond were quietly shedding his unwashed tears.
His ears rang loudly with her anguish and bitter words- ‘you don't deserve to be loved...I hate you... You have betrayed me... You have played with me…’ Again and again, the same ruthless words echoed in his ears. Her innocent distended eyes with massive sorrowful face were appearing constantly in front of his eyes. He couldn't let his eyes close longer. He was terrified seeing her vulnerable, tearful, hateful and angry eyes even in his thoughts.
The unbearable heartache, enormous sadness and feeling of emptiness was gradually killing him from inside. He knew he'd lost everything. He decided not to shed his tears and keep bearing the pain and utterly sting inside him. He wanted to punish himself...He wanted to punish her…He wanted to punish the entire world for his gloomy and mournful state.
His mind was captured by millions of pessimistic thoughts- “How could she believe that I have deceived her??? How could she even think like that??? I have truly loved her. Because of her love I realized the existence of my heart, which only beats for her. She taught me how to love and care, then why didn't she trust me??? Why she doesn't have faith in me??? Why she doesn't love me the way I do??? I would rather die than see hatred for me in her eyes. Even after extreme hatred my heart is crying for her. Only because of me the entire harem was laughing at her...Oh god!!!!!!!! Why life is so cruel??? I can't take this pain anymore.”
His thoughts were little by little changing from sorrow to anger. Anger at himself... Anger at her... Anger at the entire world. He didn’t understand how to come out of this huge blow of emotions. He was losing all his senses.
His Angry Turmoil
“I have truly loved her but she has deceived my trust. She has accused me without even giving me an opportunity to justify myself. I don't want to face her heartbreaking eyes ever again. I will keep all my sorrows to myself and will never give her any explanation. She will receive the respect of being my special begum but I will never try to pursue her. All of the begum, who were laughing at her, will soon come to know that Jodha is not an ordinary begum and I will make sure no one troubles her again. I will give her everything but would never show my love and deep longing for her…I know it was my mistake, I didn't keep my promise but I was helpless, I still don't know what actually happened with me last night. She was right...Trust is the base of all the relations... If she doesn't trust me then this is the destiny of my love... She will stay in my heart forever but I won’t see her again.”
Constantly, he was having mixed thoughts, negative and positive… His inner turmoil was increasing gradually with time. His heart was crying profusely, but his eyes didn’t shed any tears. Her fuming red scary eyes were giving him intense burning sensation to the core. At last all his strength vanished and he laid down on the sand, by the side of the shore, like a lifeless body. Then with low murmuring sound he murmured- “Why Jodha??? Why you don’t have trust on me??? Why did you do this to me???”

Jodha and Abdul...
Abdul smiled and respectfully said- “Jodha begum, I have complete assurance that you will win my friend’s heart.”
Jodha with angelic smile requested- “Abdul, can you please quickly make arrangements for me to go out of the palace and can you please inform Ammi Jaan and Reva that I am going to see Shahenshah??? Also, please let them know not to tell anyone else where I am going.”
Abdul attentively nodded his head and requested Jodha begum to walk with him towards the horse stable. Soon Jodha jumped over her favorite white horse, and within a few seconds swiftly rode towards the pond and disappeared from the palace.
Jodha was on her way to pond...
After realization, it occurred to her that she was completely wrong. She accused him ruthlessly and said terrible, painful and stingy words to hurt him without even listening to him once. She wanted to see him instantly and apologize. She knew Jalal was in dreadful condition. She wanted to take away all his sorrows and wanted to make him happy. She craved for him, craved to love him and craved to be loved by him.
The pond was not too far from the palace. It was a bright sunny beautiful morning. Refreshing bright colors of the sun rays were landing on her eyes. She heard the birds’ melodious sound of chirping. Cool breeze was blowing on her face which was giving her soothing sensation. She saw the beautiful pond from far away and saw the big tree, the symbol of their love… Her heart started beating more and faster. She had mixed thoughts, she felt scared of his anger. She had experienced his anger earlier also and she knew he could be very ruthless and violent when he is really angry but at the same time she knew that he is going to forgive her. Finally she reached near the tree and slowly walked towards him. She felt really nervous, her heartbeat increased to extreme. At last, she saw him sitting under the tree with his closed eyes. For the first time she hated her favorite payals(Anklets) for making the unnecessary noise. She could feel his anxiety and the lines of stress on his forehead. She could feel his heart is throbbing profoundly because of her brutal accuses.
Slowly she went closer to him and called out his name cautiously- “Shahenshah…”
Her low tone reached his ears but he ignored it thinking it was just an illusion.
Few seconds later she again called out his name but a little louder this time and in vigilant tone- “Shahenshah...”
With a sudden shock, he immediately opened his eyes. For a while, he couldn't believe his eyes that she was standing there in front of him. He stared at her with a bizarre look trying to make sure it’s not his delusion.
She again politely said- “Shahenshah…”
This time Jalal completely woke up with the sudden shock and revelation of her presence. He swiftly stood up and roared- “Jodha!!!” His anger little by little lit up. He shouted at the top of his voice- “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE???” Jodha trembled hearing loud roar… and seeing extreme rage in his eyes… When Jodha didn’t respond it enraged him more he shouted again “What you have done it wasn’t enough or you left with more accuses??? You have already blemished me to your extreme. I won’t tolerate any more of your ferocious and ruthless blames. GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE before my inside monster awake and hurts you.” He roared with deadly fiery anger while clutching his fists. His eyes widen turned red with fury.
Seeing his steaming fiery anger Jodha got really scared. She took two steps backward, away from him out of terror. Her entire body was shivering. First time she was at fault…She realised, the impact of her harsh and ruthless words had provoked intense hatred and bitterness inside him. She presumed, seeing his madness, it was too dangerous to talk to him further, it could aggravate his suppressed violent fury. But at the same time she knew she has hurt him a lot, and he was totally shattered from inside. She knew his own anger and inner turmoil would burn his inner soul. So even though she was scared, knowing his inner state she decided to take this dangerous step and not to leave him in that condition and apologies. In trembling fearful tone she replied- “Shahenshah, I want to talk to you.”
Jalal opened his fist while heavily panting and his entire body was shaking due to extreme fury, he harshly grabbed her shoulders in his claws and pinned her to tree then he gave her an enraged stare and roared again- “What else is left to talk now??? Why did you come here??? I don’t want to see your face ever again.” His grasp was so strong and harsh, tears pricked out of pain from her eyes.
She spoke up with shivering voice- “Please leave me Shahenshah, you are hurting me.”
His anger was at the peak, none of her words reached his ears. He widened his red eyes and tightened his grip even stronger seeing her tears. Her tears were making him weak and angrier.
Jodha winced out loudly- “Ahhh...oooh… Jalal you hurting me!!!” in pain with sobbing tears.
Suddenly, Jalal realized that he was hurting her. He pushed her away in anger and with regretful tone asked her- “Why Jodha??? Why now??? I am pleading you, please leave me alone… Please spare me… I have no strength left to face your hatred anymore.” Suddenly after seeing her tears, his violent anger turned into immense painful sorrow and his suppressed inhaled tears flooded out. To hide his tears he almost ran towards the pond and rubbed off his tears angrily from his cheeks.
Jodha walked towards him and hugged him tightly from his back and before he could react to it, in a very calm and pleading tone she said- “Shahenshah, Please forgive me for my grave mistake.”
Jalal failed to control his unwelcomed tears and replied in vulnerable tone- “Jodha, I am pleading you…please leave me alone. Everything is over and I have realized that I am a devil monster and a heartless king and I don’t deserve your love… Please leave and never come back here again.”
Jodha could feel his immense pain in his voice. She could sense his eyes were shedding tears which he was trying to mask. She gripped him more tightly and said “Jalal please forgive me otherwise my heart will burst…I can’t see you in so much pain…It was just my anger I didn’t mean a single word I said.”
Jalal’s anger vanished but still he had deep sting in his heart, he said in stern sound- “Leave me alone Jodha.” His wounds were still raw. Her words were still too heavy to dilute in his mind. His stubborn mind decided she doesn’t love him and was not ready to listen further.
She retorted with fiery tone- “Leave you Jalal!!! Ok then, you are free