I watch Declan, deep in thought and

I watch Declan, deep in thought and food forgotten, as I finish off my plate.
“Are you having second thoughts?” Part of me hopes that he is, so my good-girl streak can remain somewhat intact. And another, dirtier part of me hopes I’ll get a taste of Declan Whitmore, because he looks as if he tastes like sweaty skin, clinging body parts, and breathless prayers to God. 
He shakes his head. “There’s no turning back now, Kitten. We’ve come too far.”
He’s right, unfortunately. Lines have been crossed, and there’s no going back to before. 
Closing his lid, he gets up and walks his Styrofoam box to the fridge while I get up to throw mine away. I’d been starving and ended up eating everything on my plate, much to Declan’s satisfied smile as he watches me make a show of throwing away my empty container. 
I lean my hip against the counter as he strides over to me, pinning me in place with the heated but playful look on his face. He boxes me in with his arms again, resting his hands on the countertop next to me as he leans down. 
“Are you sure you can do this without getting your feelings involved? ’Cause I’ll be honest, I’m not sure I can.”
Blinking, I look down to his lips. His gaze is too intense, as usual, and has me feeling things I wish I didn’t. Things I don’t even understand. But instead of admitting any of this to him, I shove it down and bottle it up, where it can’t hurt me. “I’ve kept my feelings uninvolved my whole life, Declan. I don’t think I’m about to start now.” My voice is quiet, but steady, and I repeat the mantra over and over in my head. 
His fingers lift my chin, gently forcing my head to tilt back. “Maybe it’s time you did.” The pad of his thumb grazes my bottom lip before he sighs and drops his hand. “This is pretty heavy stuff for a first date, isn’t it?”
Clearing my throat, I glance away. “I guess?” I really don’t know, but it feels heavy. And personal, and intense. It’s pretty much like everything else Declan Whitmore does or says to me.
“Come on,” he says, pushing himself away from the counter.
Declan grabs my hand and leads me down the hall, toward his room. I have half a second to wonder what he’s doing before he picks me up and immediately hisses in a breath through clenched teeth. “Ow, fuck.” Tossing me on the bed, he winces and clutches his side. “You’re heavier than you look.”
I shoot him a glare as he climbs in next to me. “I am not.” I smack him on the arm as he starts up Netflix. “And you shouldn’t be picking me up anyway. You’re hurt,” I mutter, smacking him again for being so reckless.
He laughs and tries to dodge my blows. “You’re right, I should avoid heavy lifting.”
My jaw slackens, making him laugh harder, the bastard. Giving him a murderous look, I tell him, “I’m gonna let that one slide, because you’re technically right. You should avoid heavy lifting, as well as any kind of physical exertion. So you know what that means, right?”
“You’ll have to be on top if we have sex?”
I grin, despite myself. “No, you smartass. It means no sex. At all.” Now if I could just stick to that decision. . .
Declan’s jovial mood vanishes in the blink of an eye. “Now you’re just being mean.”
Rolling my eyes, I prop a pillow behind my head. “What are we watching?”
“Obligatory romantic comedy? That’s normal date behavior, right?”
“What makes this a date? This seems just like we’re hanging out.”
He sinks down onto the bed, lying next to me. “Yeah, but this time we’re hanging out with my intentions made clear.”
I glance away from the opening credits and look over at him. “Your intentions were pretty clear before.”
Frowning as if in thought, he says, “All right, but I bought dinner. That makes this a date.” He scoots over till his arm’s brushing mine. “Plus, we’re cuddling.”
Laughter breaks out of me before I can stop it. “I’m pretty sure this doesn’t count as cuddling.”
“I know.” His pinky hooks mine. “But it’s as close as you’ll let me get to the real thing.”
I hate that he’s right. The whole concept of cuddling strikes me as awkward and weird, and needless to say, I’ve never done it before. But how does he know? How can he read me so well? And why does his touch only make me want a thousand more?
He turns on his side so he can face me better, and I do the same. Reaching between us, he twirls my hair around his finger, and I can’t help but smile. “What is it with you and my hair?”
He shrugs with his free shoulder. “It’s soft. And it smells incredible. All I could smell on my pillow today was this,” he says, bringing my hair up to his nose as he inhales.
I freeze in horror. “I forgot to wash your sheets.” How could I forget something like that? And after all that I did on them every single night. . .
The wet spots might have been an exaggeration, but the rest wasn’t. His bed saw a lot of Savannah-on-Savannah lovin’. I even got off on the fact that it was his bed and his sheets. 
My hands cup my face, covering them in shame. I could die right now.
He takes my hand in his, pulling it away from my face, and kisses my knuckles. “I’m glad you didn’t,” he says between the feather-light touches of his lips to my skin. “I like smelling you all over my bed.” 
Who is this beautiful boy, and what has he done to me? I’m lost in the green flecks of his eyes as I murmur, “What are we doing? What is this?” 
He presses another kiss to the back of my hand. “It’s whatever you want it to be.”
A crease wrinkles my forehead as I stare at him. “I don’t know what that means.”
“It means I’m here, for as long as you want me.”
My breath leaves me in an exasperated huff. What the hell kind of line is that? And what does he take me for? I know how this works, and I know how this will end. “You mean you’re here until you get tired of me.”
His brows pull tight so fast I’m surprised he doesn’t reopen the cut on his eyebrow, but I sit up and continue before he can say anything. 
“I’m not stupid, Declan. We’ll have fun for a bit, but then the novelty will wear off and we’ll be stuck working and living together.” Guys leave—it’s just what they do. Why would a gorgeous guy like Declan, who can have any girl he wants, be any different from the status quo?
His mouth opens then shuts as he stares at me, looking dumbstruck and completely offended all at the same time. “You don’t know that,” he says, sitting up.
“And you do?”
Now he just looks pissed. “No, I don’t, but I’m willing to find out. That’s the whole point, Savannah. I’m open to the possibility of us.” He sighs and bends his knees, resting his elbows on them. “Please don’t write me off without giving me a chance. The world’s not gonna end if you let me in.”
I know he’s watching me, but I just can’t meet his eyes. Instead I look down at the blanket, watching my fingers draw lines in the dense, gray microfiber. “My world will end,” I mumble.
“It won’t end, it’ll just change. And I think it already has. You’re just too close to see it.”
His hand covers mine, making me look up at him. “You can’t honestly tell me you could walk away from me tomorrow and not be the tiniest bit affected by the time we spent together. I know it’s changed me, and I’m willing to bet it’s changed you. You’d miss me, Savannah, and it’s okay to admit that.” A ghost of a smile touches his lips. “You’re allowed to have feelings, you know. No one’s going to judge you for being human.”
People have come and gone my whole life. They’re interchangeable to me. 
But Declan. . . Declan, I would miss. He’s right. But I’m not ready to admit anything I’m feeling because I don’t know what I’m feeling. I’ve never felt any of this before. 
How can I articulate something so foreign if I don’t know the language?
Instead of asking for help, or asking him to be my translator, I give him a small smile and say, “You’d miss me, too.” What can I say, I’m stubborn.
He nods slowly. “I would. But I’d never let you leave in the first place.” His ghost of a smile grows, and I’m mesmerized by the way it lights up his face.
Have I mentioned how much I love his dimples?
“Is that right?” I ask.
He nods again, trying to seem solemn. “I’m afraid so. You’re stuck with me now, Kitten. I’m like a plastic sack that’s wrapped around your tail. No matter how fast you run, I’ll always be right behind you.”
The visual of what he’s just said has me practically cackling. I fall back onto the bed, laughing so hard I can’t breathe, so hard I have tears running down the sides of my face. I’m torn between clutching my stomach and wiping my eyes.
When I finally calm, I see Declan lying next to me, propped up on his elbow. He’s smiling down at me.
“I don’t doubt that,” I say, wiping the moisture from my face. “You’re very . . . persistent.”
“Just with what I want.” He wipes away an errant tear that I’d missed, but his hand lingers on my skin. “Your laugh is third.”
“Third what?”
“My third favorite sound.”
Of course he has to go and say that. Right when I’ve managed to get air back into my lungs, he has to go and deflate them. “Are you sure you’ve never wooed a girl before? You’re very good at it.”
“I’m not trying to woo you. I’m trying to ruin you for all others.”
My mouth opens, but nothing comes out. What can I say to that? Please, don’t? Because I’m not entirely sure I don’t want him to.
He leans down and kisses my forehead. “It’s only fair, you know, since you’ve ruined me.”
He’s so close to me I can feel the heat off his body. I swallow and risk a glance up at him, knowing fully well I might melt under his stare. “I have?”
“Yep. Only mean, loud, disagreeable girls will do it for me now.”
Declan laughs as I smack his chest. Somehow I’m laughing too, despite my best efforts at a glare. 
“I’m kidding,” he says. “Only you do it for me now, so you better come around to this whole ‘us’ thing or I’m screwed.”

Hasil (Bahasa Indonesia) 1:

Aku menonton Declan, mendalam dalam pikiran dan makanan forgotten, karena saya menyelesaikan piring saya."Apakah Anda memiliki pikiran kedua?" Bagian dari saya berharap bahwa ia adalah, jadi saya streak baik-gadis dapat tetap agak utuh. Dan bagian lain, kotor saya berharap saya akan mendapatkan rasa Declan Whitmore, karena dia tampak seolah-olah ia rasanya seperti kulit berkeringat, Bagian-bagian tubuh yang menempel dan terengah-engah doa kepada Allah. Ia menjabat kepala. "Ada tidak berputar kembali sekarang, anak kucing. Kami telah datang jauh."Dia benar, sayangnya. Garis telah melintasi, dan ada tidak akan kembali ke sebelumnya. Penutup tutupnya, dia bangun dan berjalan kotak Styrofoam ke kulkas sementara aku bangun untuk membuang saya. Saya mempunyai kelaparan dan berakhir makan segala sesuatu yang di piringku, banyak Declan's puas tersenyum karena dia menjaga saya membuat menunjukkan membuang saya wadah kosong. Aku bersandar pinggul saya terhadap counter sebagai langkah ia atas saya, PIN saya di tempat dengan tampilan dipanaskan tapi menyenangkan di wajahnya. Ia kotak saya dengan tangannya lagi, beristirahat tangannya di meja di sebelah saya seperti yang ia bersandar ke bawah. ' Apakah Anda yakin Anda dapat melakukannya tanpa perasaan Anda terlibat? ' Sebab aku akan jujur, aku tidak yakin aku bisa."Berkedip, aku melihat ke bawah ke bibirnya. Tatapan terlalu intens, seperti biasa, dan telah saya merasa hal-hal yang aku berharap aku tidak. Hal-hal yang aku bahkan tidak mengerti. Tetapi mengakui hal ini kepadanya, aku mendorong ke bawah dan botol itu, di mana itu tidak menyakitiku. "Aku sudah disimpan perasaan saya terlibat seluruh hidupku, Declan. Saya tidak berpikir saya akan mulai sekarang." Suara saya tenang, tapi tetap, dan saya ulangi mantra berulang-ulang di kepalaku. Jari-jarinya mengangkat dagu saya, lembut memaksa kepalaku untuk memiringkan kembali. "Mungkin itu adalah waktu yang Anda lakukan." Pad ibu jari merumput bibir bawah saya sebelum ia mendesah dan tetes tangannya. "Ini adalah hal-hal yang cukup berat untuk kencan pertama, bukan?"Kliring tenggorokanku, aku melirik jauhnya. "Saya kira?" Aku benar-benar tidak tahu, tapi rasanya berat. Dan Pribadi, dan intens. Cukup banyak seperti segala hal lain Declan Whitmore tidak atau mengatakan kepada saya.Ayolah,"katanya, mendorong dirinya dari counter.Declan meraih tangan saya dan membawa saya menyusuri lorong, ke arah kamar. Aku punya setengah detik untuk bertanya-tanya apa yang dia lakukan sebelum ia menjemputku dan segera hisses dalam napas melalui mengepalkan gigi. "Aduh, bercinta." Melemparkan saya di tempat tidur, ia winces dan cengkeraman sisi-nya. "Kau lebih berat daripada Anda terlihat."Aku menembak dia silau karena dia naik di sampingku. "Saya tidak." Aku memukul di lengan ketika dia mulai Netflix. "Dan Anda tidak boleh mengambil saya anyways. Kau terluka,"Aku bergumam, memukul dia lagi karena jadi sembrono.Ia tertawa dan mencoba untuk menghindari pukulan saya. "Kau benar, aku harus menghindari angkat berat."Rahang saya slackens, membuatnya tertawa lebih keras, bajingan. Memberinya melihat pembunuh, saya mengatakan kepadanya, "Aku akan membiarkan itu satu slide, karena Anda benar secara teknis. Anda harus menghindari angkat berat, serta jenis aktivitas fisik. Jadi Anda tahu apa artinya, kan?""Anda harus berada di atas jika kita memiliki seks?"Aku sanggup, meskipun sendiri. "Tidak, Anda Sok. Itu berarti tidak ada seks. Sekali." Sekarang jika aku bisa hanya menempel keputusan itu...Declan's suasana hati riang lenyap dalam sekejap mata. "Sekarang Anda hanya sedang berarti."Bergulir mataku, aku prop bantal di belakang kepalaku. "Apa yang sedang kita menonton?""Komedi romantis wajib? Itu perilaku normal tanggal, benar?""Apa yang membuat ini tanggal? Hal ini tampaknya seperti kita sudah tergantung."Dia tenggelam ke bawah ke tempat tidur, berbaring di sebelah saya. "Ya, tapi kali ini kita sudah tergantung dengan niat saya dibuat jelas."Saya sekilas dari pembukaan kredit dan lihatlah kepadanya. "Niat Anda yang cukup jelas sebelum."Mengerutkan kening seolah-olah dalam pikiran, dia berkata, "semua benar, tapi saya membeli makan malam. Yang membuat ini tanggal. " Ia scoots sampai lengannya di menyikat tambang. "Plus, kami sedang memeluk."Tawa pecah saya sebelum saya dapat menghentikannya. "Aku cukup yakin ini tidak dihitung sebagai memeluk.""Aku tahu." Pinky nya kait tambang. "Tapi itu sedekat Anda akan membiarkan saya mendapatkan untuk hal yang nyata."Aku benci bahwa ia benar. Seluruh konsep memeluk pemogokan saya sebagai aneh dan aneh, dan perlu untuk mengatakan, aku belum pernah melakukan itu sebelumnya. Tapi bagaimana ia tahu? Bagaimana bisa ia membaca saya begitu baik? Dan Mengapa Apakah sentuhan-nya hanya membuat saya ingin seribu lain?Ia berubah di sisinya sehingga ia dapat menghadapi saya lebih baik, dan saya melakukan hal yang sama. Mencapai antara kami, dia twirls rambut saya sekitar jarinya, dan aku tidak bisa menahan senyum. "Ada apa dengan Anda dan rambut saya?"Ia mengangkat bahu dengan bahunya gratis. "Sangat lembut. Dan baunya luar biasa. Semua bau di bantal saya hari ini adalah ini,"katanya, membawa rambutku sampai dengan hidungnya karena ia menghirup.Aku membeku di horor. "Aku lupa untuk mencuci lembar Anda." Bagaimana saya bisa melupakan sesuatu seperti itu? Dan setelah semua yang saya lakukan pada mereka setiap malam...Tempat-tempat yang basah yang mungkin berlebihan, tapi sisanya tidak. Tempat tidurnya melihat banyak Savannah di Savannah lovin '. Aku bahkan turun pada kenyataan bahwa itu adalah tempat tidurnya dan lembar nya. Tanganku cangkir wajahku, menutupi mereka di malu. Aku bisa mati sekarang.Dia mengambil tangan saya dalam, menarik diri dari wajahku, dan ciuman buku-buku saya. "Aku senang kau tidak," katanya antara sentuhan bulu-cahaya bibirnya kulit saya. "Saya suka mencium Anda seluruh tempat tidur saya." Siapakah anak indah ini, dan apa yang telah ia lakukan kepada saya? Aku hilang di flek hijau matanya seperti yang aku bergumam, "apa yang kita lakukan? Apa ini?" Ia menekan lain ciuman untuk punggung tangan saya. "Ini adalah apa pun yang Anda inginkan untuk menjadi."Lipatan keriput dahi saya sebagai saya menatapnya. "Aku tidak tahu apa artinya.""Itu berarti aku di sini, selama Anda ingin saya."Napas saya meninggalkan saya di huff jengkel. Apa sih jenis garis adalah bahwa? Dan apa Apakah dia membawa saya? Aku tahu bagaimana ini bekerja, dan aku tahu bagaimana ini akan berakhir. "Anda berarti Anda berada di sini sampai Anda mendapatkan lelah saya."Alis nya menarik ketat begitu cepat aku heran ia tidak membuka kembali luka pada alis nya, tapi aku duduk dan terus sebelum ia dapat berkata apa-apa. "Aku tidak bodoh, Declan. Kami akan bersenang-senang sedikit, tapi kemudian kebaruan akan berkurang dan kita akan terjebak bekerja dan tinggal bersama-sama." Orang meninggalkan — itu adalah hanya apa yang mereka lakukan. Mengapa seorang pria cantik seperti Declan, yang dapat memiliki setiap gadis yang diinginkannya, akan berbeda dari status quo?Mulutnya membuka kemudian menutup sebagaimana ia menatapku, tampak bingung dan benar-benar tersinggung semua pada waktu yang sama. "Anda tidak tahu itu," katanya, duduk."Dan Anda lakukan?"Sekarang dia hanya terlihat kesal. "Tidak, aku tidak, tapi saya bersedia untuk mencari tahu. Itu adalah seluruh titik, Savannah. Saya terbuka terhadap kemungkinan kita." Dia mendesah dan menekuk lutut, beristirahat siku nya pada mereka. "Tolong jangan menulis saya tanpa memberi saya kesempatan. Dunia tidak akan berakhir jika Anda membiarkan saya."Aku tahu dia adalah menonton saya, tapi aku hanya tidak dapat memenuhi matanya. Sebaliknya saya melihat ke bawah selimut, menonton jari-jari saya menggambar garis di microfiber padat, abu-abu. "Dunia akan berakhir," yang aku bergumam.“It won’t end, it’ll just change. And I think it already has. You’re just too close to see it.”His hand covers mine, making me look up at him. “You can’t honestly tell me you could walk away from me tomorrow and not be the tiniest bit affected by the time we spent together. I know it’s changed me, and I’m willing to bet it’s changed you. You’d miss me, Savannah, and it’s okay to admit that.” A ghost of a smile touches his lips. “You’re allowed to have feelings, you know. No one’s going to judge you for being human.”People have come and gone my whole life. They’re interchangeable to me. But Declan. . . Declan, I would miss. He’s right. But I’m not ready to admit anything I’m feeling because I don’t know what I’m feeling. I’ve never felt any of this before. How can I articulate something so foreign if I don’t know the language?Instead of asking for help, or asking him to be my translator, I give him a small smile and say, “You’d miss me, too.” What can I say, I’m stubborn.He nods slowly. “I would. But I’d never let you leave in the first place.” His ghost of a smile grows, and I’m mesmerized by the way it lights up his face.Have I mentioned how much I love his dimples?“Is that right?” I ask.He nods again, trying to seem solemn. “I’m afraid so. You’re stuck with me now, Kitten. I’m like a plastic sack that’s wrapped around your tail. No matter how fast you run, I’ll always be right behind you.”The visual of what he’s just said has me practically cackling. I fall back onto the bed, laughing so hard I can’t breathe, so hard I have tears running down the sides of my face. I’m torn between clutching my stomach and wiping my eyes.When I finally calm, I see Declan lying next to me, propped up on his elbow. He’s smiling down at me.“I don’t doubt that,” I say, wiping the moisture from my face. “You’re very . . . persistent.”“Just with what I want.” He wipes away an errant tear that I’d missed, but his hand lingers on my skin. “Your laugh is third.”“Third what?”“My third favorite sound.”Of course he has to go and say that. Right when I’ve managed to get air back into my lungs, he has to go and deflate them. “Are you sure you’ve never wooed a girl before? You’re very good at it.”“I’m not trying to woo you. I’m trying to ruin you for all others.”My mouth opens, but nothing comes out. What can I say to that? Please, don’t? Because I’m not entirely sure I don’t want him to.He leans down and kisses my forehead. “It’s only fair, you know, since you’ve ruined me.”He’s so close to me I can feel the heat off his body. I swallow and risk a glance up at him, knowing fully well I might melt under his stare. “I have?”“Yep. Only mean, loud, disagreeable girls will do it for me now.”Declan laughs as I smack his chest. Somehow I’m laughing too, despite my best efforts at a glare. “I’m kidding,” he says. “Only you do it for me now, so you better come around to this whole ‘us’ thing or I’m screwed.”