I was shameless. Absolutely without

I was shameless. Absolutely without any pride, and I should lock myself up until I stopped going into heat every time this guy was around. Every damn time.
Tate’s older-than-dirt CD player had some kind of alarm clock on it, and I accidentally hit a button and then the damn thing wouldn’t shut off when I jammed the power button. Several times. And then I started hitting other buttons. And then I turned the volume down. And turned it. And turned it. And turned it. And nothing.
And then Jax had climbed over, his long hair hanging in his face and looking straight off the cover of one of those romance novels where the superhot savage is ripping off the petticoats of the pampered city girl, and I froze.
Frickin’ froze, and I didn’t want him to leave.
He picked up the chair with one hand and moved it into the bathroom.
“What are you doing?” I asked, following him.
He sat down, facing the mirror. “I need to be able to see you.”
See me? What was he so afraid of? I thought to myself. But I kept quiet, knowing he wouldn’t tell me even if I asked.
From the moment I’d offered to do his hair, he’d stilled and looked scared, and for the second time, Jaxon Trent backed away from me. The first being two years ago when I’d asked about his lack of tattoos.
I came up behind him, trying not to smile at his huge frame in Tate’s small bathroom—but one look at his wary eyes staring back at me through the mirror, and I stopped. He looked as if he was ready to bolt at any sign of danger.
I placed my hands on his bare shoulders, wanting to show him that I understood his apprehension. I didn’t like to be groomed, either.
“Do you know I purposely failed a test senior year so you would have to tutor me?” I blurted out, trying to distract him as I gently pulled out his hair from his brown rubber band—the ones you get in the office supply section that are terrible for hair.
I looked up and met his eyes again, keeping my face even. He watched me like a hawk, his heavy breaths making it very clear that he was still uncomfortable.
“We shared a math class,” I said, setting down the rubber band and threading my fingers through his gorgeous black-brown hair that was longer than mine. “You tutored kids in the morning, and I wanted to spend time with you, so I failed a test on the chance that you’d have to help me.”
He leaned back in the chair, relaxing a little more, and my stomach fluttered with the sexy little smile curling his lips.
“Yeah, but it blew up in my face,” I laughed nervously, spraying some detangler in his hair. “My mom found out and hired a personal tutor at home.” I held his cold locks in my hand, piece by piece, spraying. “So that sucked. I had to waste an extra hour three times a week for a month for a test I could’ve passed. It was embarrassing.”
Reaching down, I took his brush out of his hand, and gathering up all the hair, I started lightly brushing through it from the bottom up. He didn’t speak, and I was surprised he didn’t comment on my story. I figured Jax would gloat about something like that.
“Even more embarrassing was the first guy I ever kissed,” I continued. “Yeah, I thought it was a guy, but it wasn’t. He was a girl. A very boyish-looking girl at a party when I was fourteen …” I rambled, trying to keep his mind on me.
He listened as I told him about the Barbie skates that I could still fit into as I brushed through all of his hair and put some product in for styling. He kept his eyes glued to me as I told him about the time I was eighteen and too drunk to notice that I hadn’t taken my underwear down before peeing on the toilet. He followed my every movement as I dragged the edge of a comb along the sides and parted pieces of it for braiding and kept talking.
Through the layer of sweat on his back and with his fists clenching the fabric of his pants on his thighs, he listened and didn’t take his eyes off me for a single moment, listening to my ramblings as if they were the most interesting stories in the world.
And the whole time, I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and hold him. He didn’t feel safe, and I didn’t wonder about the cause.
I simply wanted to know where they were, whoever had done this to him, so I could choke the shit out of them.
Reaching down, I placed my hand on his as I used the other to dig in the drawer for some small clear rubber bands.
I didn’t look at him, and I didn’t touch him unnecessarily. I just wanted him to know that I was there.
I’d seen him wear his hair in ponytails and braided ponytails, but my favorite styles were where he braided three small strips above each ear, so I decided to do three braids to the scalp instead of the traditional ones he usually did.
Braiding three rows on each side, securing them with rubber bands as I went, I then took all the bands out and pulled everything back into his usual ponytail midskull. Twisting the rubber band, I threaded his thick black hair through, squeezing the soft, cool locks in my fist.
Running my hand over his scalp to pull back any flyaways, I slowed when I saw him close his eyes. He looked relaxed. Peaceful. Maybe soothed.
Spraying some hair spray to keep everything in place, I put my hands back on his shoulders and waited for him to open his eyes again. He could stay like that all damn day for all I cared.
Fireworks popped under my skin and exploded in my chest at the sight of him. We were close to each other and we weren’t shouting for a change. Damn, he was beautiful.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t nicer in high school.” My voice came out raspy, and when he opened his eyes they almost seemed to glow in the dark.
“Every morning you’d sit on the bleachers with your iPod and stare off onto the field. Staring at nothing. I wondered all the time what you were doing. What you were thinking about. You scared me.”
“Why?” he asked, sounding calm. “I would never have hurt you, Juliet.”
I shrugged, not sure how to answer that. “I don’t know. Liam was safe, I guess. He pissed me off and hurt my feelings, but he never got under my skin.”
Liam never made me cry. Forgetting me, disrespecting me, humiliating me—that all made me cry. But losing him to another woman never hurt. It wasn’t a loss. But Jax …
I looked down, swallowing. “First time I saw you I knew …”
“Knew what?”
I met his eyes on the mirror. “That you’d mean more.”
Jax’s chest filled with a deep breath, and his gaze turned heated. He pushed out of his chair, and I jumped back at his sudden movement. Looking up, I watched as he advanced on me, backing me into the bathroom wall.
“Jax—” But before I could say anything more, he leaned down and cupped my cheek, and butterflies swarmed in massive circles in my stomach when his lips crashed down on mine.
I moaned, his tongue flicked mine, and I jerked with the rush of heat spreading through me and then sinking right down between my legs.
Shit, he felt good.
I opened my lips more and kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck, standing on my tiptoes, and leaning into his body. His arm circled my waist, and his other hand went straight for my ass, pressing me into him harder.
I felt my bikini top give way, and that was when I noticed he had pulled the ties at my neck and back.
I reached up, trying to catch my top before he snatched it away from my body and tossed it to the floor.
“Jax, no.” I pinched my face up in worry. “Shane will be back—”
“You want me to stop?” he said, cutting me off, lifting me up by the backs of my thighs and pressing me into the wall with his body. “There’s no stopping,” he warned, covering my nipple with his mouth.
I groaned, letting my eyes roll back. Oh, shit. Everything he did hit a nerve straight down to my center, and I squeezed my thighs around him.
“Jax, please,” I begged. I wanted this.
But I wasn’t ready.
“Please what?” he taunted, his scorching breath making me shiver as he swirled my hard nipple with his tongue.
“Please stop,” I gasped, wanting him to do everything but stop. More.
“Stop what?” he asked, still kissing me. “Stop this?” He sucked my whole nipple into his mouth, fast and fucking hard, and then drew it out between his teeth while looking up at me with those devil blue eyes. I sucked in air, watching him suck and release, kiss and drag, making me throb so hard I started grinding against him.
Lowering me just a bit, he crushed my lips to his and held me tight as he walked us to the bedroom and laid me back on the bed.
He broke the kiss, and I inhaled a sharp breath at the sudden coldness I felt. He leaned over me, looking down into my eyes.
Grazing the back of his hand over my cheek, he dragged it down my neck and then my torso, spreading the heat of his touch down my body. My stomach shook as he slid past and dived into my shorts.
I arched my back and groaned when his finger slipped inside me.
He closed his eyes, looking as though he was reveling in what he felt there.
“Jesus Christ,” he swore, baring his teeth.
He came down and sucked my bottom lip between his teeth as he worked the button and zipper of my shorts.
I held on to his face, kissing him back. “Jax,” I breathed out, “I need you to stop. I don’t want you to stop”—I laughed a little—“but I … ”
My thoughts were a jumbled mess. My body knew what it wanted. I was on fire for him. But I didn’t want a one-night stand, and I was scared.
I might not please him.
He bowed his forehead to mine. “Shh,” he soothed. “I’m not going to make love to you, okay? I have no expectations. Yet. I just want to see you.”
He hesitated for a moment, searching my eyes, and then hooked his fingers in the loops of my jean shorts and slid them down my legs, bringing my bikini bottoms with them.
The cool air touched between my legs, and I felt his eyes on every inch of my skin. I shot up, grabbing his face for a kiss, trying to cover my body. But he was too smart for that.
“I want to look at you,” he whispered between kisses,

Hasil (Bahasa Indonesia) 1:

Aku tak tahu malu. Benar-benar tanpa pride apapun, dan aku harus mengunci diri sampai saya berhenti pergi ke panas setiap kali orang ini di sekitar. Sialan setiap kali.Tate's lebih tua dari kotoran CD player memiliki semacam jam alarm di atasnya, dan aku tidak sengaja menekan tombol dan kemudian sialan itu tidak mematikan ketika saya macet tombol power. Beberapa kali. Dan kemudian aku mulai memukul tombol lain. Dan kemudian saya ditolak volume. Dan mengubahnya. Dan mengubahnya. Dan mengubahnya. Dan tidak ada.Dan kemudian Jax telah memanjat, nya rambut panjang tergantung di wajahnya dan melihat langsung dari salah satu novel roman yang mana superhot savage adalah merobek rok gadis dimanjakan kota, dan aku membeku.Frickin' membeku, dan aku tidak ingin dia pergi.Dia mengambil kursi dengan satu tangan dan memindahkannya ke kamar mandi."Apa yang Anda lakukan?" Saya bertanya, mengikutinya.Dia duduk, menghadapi cermin. "Saya perlu untuk melihat Anda."Melihat saya? Apa Apakah dia begitu takut? Saya berpikir sendiri. Tapi aku tetap diam, mengetahui dia tidak memberitahu saya bahkan jika saya bertanya.Dari saat saya telah menawarkan untuk melakukan rambutnya, dia telah ditenangkan oleh dan tampak takut, dan untuk kedua kalinya, Jaxon Trent mundur dari saya. Yang pertama adalah dua tahun yang lalu ketika saya telah bertanya tentang kurangnya tato.Saya datang di belakang dia, berusaha untuk tidak tersenyum pada frame nya besar di kamar mandi kecil Tate's — tapi satu melihat nya waspada mata menatap kembali pada saya melalui cermin, dan aku berhenti. Dia tampak seolah-olah ia sudah siap untuk baut pada setiap tanda bahaya.Aku meletakkan tanganku pada bahunya telanjang, ingin menunjukkan kepadanya bahwa saya memahami ketakutan-nya. Saya tidak ingin akan dipersiapkan, baik."Apakah Anda tahu aku sengaja gagal tahun senior tes sehingga Anda akan memiliki untuk guru saya?" Aku berseru, berusaha untuk mengalihkan perhatian dirinya sebagai saya lembut ditarik keluar rambutnya dari band karet coklat — yang Anda mendapatkan di kantor pasokan bagian yang mengerikan untuk rambut.Aku mendongak dan bertemu matanya lagi, menjaga wajah saya bahkan. Ia menyaksikan aku seperti elang, napas berat nya yang membuatnya sangat jelas bahwa dia masih tidak nyaman."Kami berbagi kelas matematika," kataku, meletakkan karet gelang dan threading jari-jari saya melalui rambutnya hitam kecokelatan cantik yang lebih panjang dari saya. "Anda mengajari anak-anak di pagi hari, dan aku ingin menghabiskan waktu dengan Anda, jadi saya gagal tes pada kesempatan bahwa Anda akan memiliki untuk membantu saya."Dia bersandar di kursi, santai sedikit lebih, dan perut saya terbang dengan senyum kecil seksi keriting bibirnya."Ya, tapi itu meledak di wajah saya," Aku tertawa gugup, penyemprotan detangler beberapa di rambutnya. "Ibuku menemukan dan menyewa seorang tutor pribadi di rumah." Saya memegang kunci nya dingin di tanganku, sepotong demi sepotong, penyemprotan. "Sehingga tersedot. Saya harus buang jam tambahan tiga kali seminggu selama satu bulan bisa telah lulus tes. Itu memalukan."Mencapai ke bawah, aku mengambil kuas dari tangannya, dan mengumpulkan semua rambut, saya mulai menyikat ringan melalui itu dari bawah ke atas. Dia tidak bicara, dan saya terkejut ia tidak mengomentari cerita saya. Saya pikir Jax akan menertawakan tentang sesuatu seperti itu."Bahkan lebih memalukan adalah orang pertama yang saya pernah mencium," saya melanjutkan. "Ya, saya pikir itu adalah seorang pria, tapi itu tidak. Dia adalah seorang gadis. Seorang sangat kekanak-kanakan mencari gadis di pesta ketika aku berusia empat belas tahun..." Saya mengoceh, berusaha untuk menjaga pikiran saya.Ia mendengarkan saat aku bercerita tentang Barbie skate yang saya masih bisa masuk ke dalam seperti aku menggosok melalui semua rambutnya dan meletakkan beberapa produk untuk styling. Dia memelihara mata terpaku pada saya ketika saya mengatakan kepadanya saat aku berusia delapan belas tahun dan terlalu mabuk memperhatikan bahwa aku tidak mengambil pakaian saya sebelum kencing di toilet. Ia mengikuti setiap gerakan seperti aku menyeret tepi sisir sepanjang sisi dan berpisah potongan-potongan itu untuk mengepang dan terus berbicara.Melalui lapisan keringat di punggungnya dan dengan genggamnya mengepalkan kain celana di pahanya, ia mendengarkan dan tidak mengambil pandangan dari saya untuk sesaat, mendengarkan ramblings seolah-olah mereka adalah cerita-cerita yang paling menarik di dunia.Dan sepanjang waktu, saya hanya ingin untuk membungkus lengan saya di sekelilingnya dan menahannya. Dia tidak merasa aman, dan aku tidak bertanya-tanya tentang penyebab.Aku hanya ingin tahu di mana mereka tidak, barangsiapa melakukan hal ini, jadi saya bisa tersedak kotoran keluar dari mereka.Mencapai, aku meletakkan tanganku pada Nya seperti dulu yang lain untuk menggali di laci untuk beberapa band karet kecil yang jelas.Aku tidak melihat dia, dan saya tidak menyentuh dia tidak perlu. Aku hanya ingin dia tahu bahwa aku ada di sana.Aku pernah melihat dia memakai rambutnya di ekor kuda dan ekor kuda dikepang, tapi gaya favorit saya yang mana dia dikepang tiga strip kecil di atas setiap telinga, jadi saya memutuskan untuk melakukan tiga dikepang ke kulit kepala bukan yang tradisional yang dia slalu lakukan.Mengepang tiga baris pada setiap sisi, mengamankan mereka dengan karet gelang saat aku pergi, saya kemudian mengeluarkan semua band-band dan menarik segala sesuatu kembali ke ekor kuda biasa nya midskull. Memutar karet gelang, saya threaded rambutnya hitam tebal melalui, meremas lembut, dingin kunci dalam kepalan tangan saya.Menjalankan tanganku ke kulit kepala untuk menarik kembali flyaways apapun, aku melambat ketika aku melihat dia menutup matanya. Dia tampak santai. Damai. Mungkin ditenangkan.Penyemprotan beberapa semprotan rambut untuk menjaga semuanya dalam tempat, aku meletakkan tanganku kembali di atas bahunya dan menunggu dia untuk membuka matanya lagi. Dia bisa tetap seperti itu sepanjang hari sialan untuk semua saya peduli.Kembang api muncul di bawah kulit dan meledak di dada saya melihat dia. Kami dekat satu sama lain dan kami tidak berteriak untuk perubahan. Sialan, dia adalah indah."Saya minta maaf saya tidak lebih baik di sekolah menengah." Keluar suara saya serak, dan ketika ia membuka matanya mereka hampir tampak bersinar dalam gelap."Setiap pagi Anda akan duduk di bangku-bangku dengan iPod Anda dan menatap pergi ke lapangan. Menatap apa-apa. Aku bertanya-tanya sepanjang waktu apa yang Anda lakukan. Apa yang Anda pikirkan. Anda takut saya.""Kenapa?" Dia bertanya, terdengar tenang. "Saya akan pernah telah menyakiti Anda, Juliet."Aku mengangkat bahu, tidak yakin bagaimana untuk menjawab pertanyaan itu. "Saya tidak tahu. Liam adalah aman, kurasa. Ia kesal dan menyakiti perasaan saya, tetapi ia tidak pernah di bawah kulit saya."Liam tidak pernah membuat saya menangis. Lupa saya, disrespecting saya, mempermalukan saya — bahwa semua membuat saya menangis. Tetapi tidak pernah kehilangan dia untuk wanita lain sakit. Bukan kerugian. Tapi Jax...Saya melihat ke bawah, menelan. "Pertama kali saya melihat kamu aku tahu...""Tahu apa?"Aku bertemu matanya di cermin. "Bahwa Anda berarti lebih."JAX di dada diisi dengan napas dalam-dalam, dan dengan tatapan berubah berpemanas. Dia didorong keluar dari kursi-nya, dan aku melompat kembali di nya tiba-tiba gerakan. Mencari, saya menyaksikan sebagai dia maju pada saya, membuat saya ke dinding kamar mandi."Jax-" tapi sebelum aku bisa mengatakan apa-apa lagi, ia membungkuk ke bawah menangkupkan pipiku dan kupu-kupu menyerbu dalam lingkaran besar-besaran di perutku ketika bibirnya jatuh ke bawah di tambang.Saya mengerang, lidahnya menjentikkan saya, dan saya tersentak dengan aliran panas melalui saya menyebarkan dan kemudian tenggelam segera turun antara kedua kakiku.Sial, dia merasa baik.Aku membuka bibir saya lebih dan mencium dia kembali, pembungkus lengan saya di lehernya, berdiri di berjinjit saya dan bersandar ke tubuhnya. Lengan dilingkari pinggang, dan tangannya lain pergi langsung untuk pantatku, menekan saya ke dia sulit.Saya merasa saya top bikini memberi jalan, dan itu adalah ketika aku melihat dia telah ditarik dasi di leher dan punggung.Aku mencapai, berusaha untuk menangkap atas saya sebelum Dia menyambar dari tubuh saya dan melemparkan ke lantai."Jax, tidak ada." Aku mencubit wajahku di khawatir. "Shane akan kembali —""Anda ingin saya untuk berhenti?" katanya, memotong saya, mengangkat saya oleh punggung paha saya dan menekan saya ke dinding dengan tubuhnya. "Ada tidak menghentikan," ia memperingatkan, meliputi puting susu saya dengan mulutnya.Saya mengerang, membiarkan mataku roll kembali. Oh, kotoran. Segala sesuatu yang ia lakukan menghantam syaraf lurus ke bawah ke pusat saya, dan saya diperas paha saya di sekelilingnya."Jax, mohon," Aku memohon. Aku ingin ini.Tapi aku tidak siap."Tolong apa?" dia ejek, napas terik yang membuat saya merinding ketika ia berputar puting keras saya dengan lidahnya."Silakan berhenti," Aku terkesiap, menginginkan dia untuk melakukan segala sesuatu tetapi berhenti. Lebih."Berhenti apa?" Dia bertanya, masih mencium saya. "Berhenti ini?" Dia mengisap puting susu saya seluruh ke dalam mulutnya, cepat dan sialan keras, dan kemudian menarik antara giginya sambil menatap saya dengan mata setan biru. Saya tersedot di udara, menonton dia mengisap dan melepaskan, mencium dan tarik, membuat saya berdenyut begitu keras aku mulai menggiling terhadap dirinya.Menurunkan saya hanya sedikit, ia hancur bibirku nya dan memegang saya erat-erat saat ia berjalan kita ke kamar tidur dan meletakkan saya kembali di tempat tidur.Ia melanggar ciuman, dan aku menghirup napas tajam di dingin tiba-tiba aku merasa. Dia membungkuk saya, memandang ke mataku.Merumput belakang tangannya atas pipi saya, ia menyeret bawah leher saya dan kemudian badan, menyebarkan panas sentuhan-nya ke bawah tubuh saya. Perutku mengguncang saat dia meluncur melewati dan menyelam ke dalam celana pendek saya.I arched my back and groaned when his finger slipped inside me.He closed his eyes, looking as though he was reveling in what he felt there.“Jesus Christ,” he swore, baring his teeth.He came down and sucked my bottom lip between his teeth as he worked the button and zipper of my shorts.I held on to his face, kissing him back. “Jax,” I breathed out, “I need you to stop. I don’t want you to stop”—I laughed a little—“but I … ”My thoughts were a jumbled mess. My body knew what it wanted. I was on fire for him. But I didn’t want a one-night stand, and I was scared.I might not please him.He bowed his forehead to mine. “Shh,” he soothed. “I’m not going to make love to you, okay? I have no expectations. Yet. I just want to see you.”He hesitated for a moment, searching my eyes, and then hooked his fingers in the loops of my jean shorts and slid them down my legs, bringing my bikini bottoms with them.The cool air touched between my legs, and I felt his eyes on every inch of my skin. I shot up, grabbing his face for a kiss, trying to cover my body. But he was too smart for that.“I want to look at you,” he whispered between kisses,