Until he opens his eyes and smiles

Until he opens his eyes and smiles up at me. Adorable, sexy, addictive, hopeful. It takes me apart, breaks the gates of my heart wide open.
“Romy.”
That’s all he says, but somehow, it’s more than enough. He pulls me to his chest and covers my face with kisses. He wraps his arms around me so tightly that I can barely draw a breath, but I’m not sure I want to. I could die like this, right here, without a single regret.
We stay like that for the longest time, nurturing this fragile, peaceful, rapidly growing something we have together. I’m not sure what to call it, but as he bows his head into my hair, only one word occurs to me: miracle.
 
Caleb has a busy afternoon of private lessons. He walks me out to my car and hugs me fiercely. “Are you coming to the open painting time tonight?” he asks.
“Why, do you need a ride?” I’m trying to sound teasing, but I’m probably blushing as I say it.
He doesn’t see it, though. He’s fiddling with my fingers. “No, I mean, that’s not why I’m asking. I wanted to talk to you.” He meets my eyes briefly before looking away again. “I need to explain some things about my life.”
Suddenly, dread burbles up from the ground and nearly drowns me. “All right,” I say, trying my damnedest to sound casual. Calm. I kiss him and smile.
Then I get in my car and drive home. As awesome as last night was, and as … awesomer … as this morning was, I’m suddenly wondering if it was a mistake, and the thought is crushing. Somehow, Caleb and I had this chance, this brief window of time, of safety, this place just for us, this special thing that was only between us. In it we shed all the junk we carried with us, connecting with our barest, plainest selves. But we couldn’t stay there forever. Of course we couldn’t. Will our connection be as strong once we pick up all the baggage?
God, I hope so. Whatever he’s going to say, I want to react the right way. I don’t want to hurt him. And I don’t want him to hurt me. I drift through my afternoon class, reliving my moments in Caleb’s arms, wondering how something that felt so right could possibly be all wrong. Jude and I go out for an early dinner after the lecture. I get myself a cheese sandwich and sit at a corner table, picking at it as I stare out the window. Jude drops into the seat across from me, tossing a nutrition bar onto the table.
“This semester is really stressing you out,” I say to him, noticing how strained he looks.
“Can we switch internships?” he asks. “I’m starting to think you got the better deal.”
I snort. He was so afraid my placement at Sojourner House would shatter me. But though it’s emotionally draining and heartbreaking so far, I’m hanging in there. “Catherine again?”
He rubs at his eyes. “She didn’t even show up for her session yesterday, so I have no idea what’s going on with her.”
“Did you call her?” I ask, recalling the scars on the girl’s arms, how worried Jude was about her.
He nods. “I left a message. She texted back that she forgot, so I’m hoping she’s all right. I’m waiting for her to tell me if she wants to meet later this week. Some of the stuff she said to me in her last session really bothered me.”
In our group supervision meeting last week, Jude had talked through it. Catherine had told him that her brother was trying to control her access to mental health treatment. It made me sick, that this guy had tried to cut her off from help.
“She’s got to get away from him, Jude. I bet he has a temper.” I shudder. “I could talk to Justine about getting her a place at Sojourner. If she’s got nowhere else to go, they might be able to take her.”
He nods. “If she comes in this week, I might mention that to her. Dr. Greer is worried, too. He said I need to talk to her about why it’s so important for me to contact her psychiatrist, that I’ll be a better advocate for her if I can share information—especially since her brother goes to all her psychiatry appointments. She says she’s not allowed to speak for herself at all, but if she’d let me call the psychiatrist, I could talk to him, let him in on what’s happening.”
“Why is that guy controlling her like this?” It’s so freaking creepy. It makes me wonder what else is going on.
Jude looks ill. He glances at the nutrition bar and then shoves it in his shoulder bag. “She hasn’t told me yet, but I’m starting to put the pieces together.” He gives me a look. “We know she’s been traumatized. I’m guessing it’s sexual, though she denied that in our first meeting. But really, the odds are good. And she lives with this controlling guy who dogs her every move.”
“You think he’s …” I trail off, suddenly losing my own appetite.
“Dr. Greer said he’s seen it before.”
I cringe internally. “I hope she calls you soon.”
“Me, too.” He shifts restlessly in his seat. “Hey. Now you have to tell me what’s up with you.”
I chuckle. “Where do I start? I kind of went off the rails last night, and I’m still trying to find my way back.”
His eyes go wide. “Off the rails? What the hell did you do?”
Here we go

Hasil (Bahasa Indonesia) 1:

Sampai ia membuka mata dan tersenyum padaku. Menggemaskan, seksi, adiktif, penuh harapan. Aku butuh istirahat terpisah, pintu gerbang hatiku luas terbuka."Romy."Itu yang katanya, tapi entah bagaimana, hal ini lebih dari cukup. Dia menarik saya ke dadanya dan meliputi wajahku dengan ciuman. Dia membungkus lengannya di sekitar saya begitu erat bahwa aku hampir tidak bisa menarik napas, tapi aku tidak yakin aku ingin. Aku bisa mati seperti ini, di sini, tanpa menyesal tunggal.Kami tetap seperti itu untuk waktu yang lama, memelihara ini rapuh, damai berkembang pesat sesuatu yang kita miliki bersama. Saya tidak yakin apa yang harus menyebutnya, tetapi karena ia busur kepalanya ke rambut saya, hanya satu kata yang terjadi kepada saya: keajaiban. Kaleb memiliki sore yang sibuk dari pelajaran pribadi. Dia berjalan saya keluar mobil saya dan pelukan saya sengit. "Apakah Anda datang ke waktu terbuka lukisan malam ini?" Dia bertanya."Mengapa, Anda butuh tumpangan?" Saya mencoba untuk menggoda suara, tapi aku mungkin tersipu-sipu seperti yang saya katakan itu.Dia tidak melihat hal itu, meskipun. Ia adalah bermain-main dengan jari-jari saya. "Tidak, maksudku, itu tidak mengapa aku bertanya. Saya ingin berbicara dengan Anda." Ia bertemu mataku sebentar sebelum mencari lagi. "Saya perlu menjelaskan beberapa hal tentang hidup saya."Tiba-tiba, ketakutan burbles naik dari tanah dan hampir tenggelam aku. "Baiklah," Aku berkata, berusaha sekuat tenaga saya terdengar kasual. Tenang. Aku mencium dia dan senyum.Then I get in my car and drive home. As awesome as last night was, and as … awesomer … as this morning was, I’m suddenly wondering if it was a mistake, and the thought is crushing. Somehow, Caleb and I had this chance, this brief window of time, of safety, this place just for us, this special thing that was only between us. In it we shed all the junk we carried with us, connecting with our barest, plainest selves. But we couldn’t stay there forever. Of course we couldn’t. Will our connection be as strong once we pick up all the baggage?God, I hope so. Whatever he’s going to say, I want to react the right way. I don’t want to hurt him. And I don’t want him to hurt me. I drift through my afternoon class, reliving my moments in Caleb’s arms, wondering how something that felt so right could possibly be all wrong. Jude and I go out for an early dinner after the lecture. I get myself a cheese sandwich and sit at a corner table, picking at it as I stare out the window. Jude drops into the seat across from me, tossing a nutrition bar onto the table.“This semester is really stressing you out,” I say to him, noticing how strained he looks.“Can we switch internships?” he asks. “I’m starting to think you got the better deal.”I snort. He was so afraid my placement at Sojourner House would shatter me. But though it’s emotionally draining and heartbreaking so far, I’m hanging in there. “Catherine again?”He rubs at his eyes. “She didn’t even show up for her session yesterday, so I have no idea what’s going on with her.”“Did you call her?” I ask, recalling the scars on the girl’s arms, how worried Jude was about her.He nods. “I left a message. She texted back that she forgot, so I’m hoping she’s all right. I’m waiting for her to tell me if she wants to meet later this week. Some of the stuff she said to me in her last session really bothered me.”In our group supervision meeting last week, Jude had talked through it. Catherine had told him that her brother was trying to control her access to mental health treatment. It made me sick, that this guy had tried to cut her off from help.“She’s got to get away from him, Jude. I bet he has a temper.” I shudder. “I could talk to Justine about getting her a place at Sojourner. If she’s got nowhere else to go, they might be able to take her.”He nods. “If she comes in this week, I might mention that to her. Dr. Greer is worried, too. He said I need to talk to her about why it’s so important for me to contact her psychiatrist, that I’ll be a better advocate for her if I can share information—especially since her brother goes to all her psychiatry appointments. She says she’s not allowed to speak for herself at all, but if she’d let me call the psychiatrist, I could talk to him, let him in on what’s happening.”“Why is that guy controlling her like this?” It’s so freaking creepy. It makes me wonder what else is going on.Jude looks ill. He glances at the nutrition bar and then shoves it in his shoulder bag. “She hasn’t told me yet, but I’m starting to put the pieces together.” He gives me a look. “We know she’s been traumatized. I’m guessing it’s sexual, though she denied that in our first meeting. But really, the odds are good. And she lives with this controlling guy who dogs her every move.”“You think he’s …” I trail off, suddenly losing my own appetite.“Dr. Greer said he’s seen it before.”I cringe internally. “I hope she calls you soon.”“Me, too.” He shifts restlessly in his seat. “Hey. Now you have to tell me what’s up with you.”I chuckle. “Where do I start? I kind of went off the rails last night, and I’m still trying to find my way back.”His eyes go wide. “Off the rails? What the hell did you do?”Here we go