I was down in the lobby by five aft

I was down in the lobby by five after noon, but Cary hadn’t arrived yet. As I waited for him, my nerves started getting to me. I’d gone over my brief conversation with Cary again and again and knew he was right. I had convinced myself he’d be okay with having Gideon join our living arrangements because I couldn’t imagine facing the alternative—having to choose between my best friend and my boyfriend.
And now there was no choice. I was married. Ecstatically so.
Still, I found myself grateful that I’d tucked my wedding ring into the zippered pocket of my purse. If Cary felt a growing distance between us, finding out I’d gotten hitched over the weekend wouldn’t help.
My stomach twisted. The secrets between us were mounting. I couldn’t stand it.
“Eva.”
I jerked out of my thoughts at the sound of my best friend’s voice. He was striding toward me wearing loose-fitting cargo shorts and a V-neck T-shirt. He kept his shades on, and with his hands shoved in his pockets, he seemed distant and cool. Heads turned as he walked by and he didn’t notice, his attention on me.
My feet moved. I was hurrying toward him before I thought of it, then ran straight into him so hard, his breath left him with a grunt. I hugged him, my cheek pressed to his chest.
“I missed you,” I said, meaning it with all my heart, even though he wouldn’t know exactly why.
He muttered something under his breath and hugged me. “Pain in the ass sometimes, baby girl.”
Pulling back, I looked up at him. “I’m sorry.”
He linked his fingers with mine and led me out of the Crossfire. We went to the place with the great tacos that we’d gone to the last time he had met me for lunch. They also had great slushy virgin margaritas, which were perfect on a steamy summer day.
After waiting in line about ten minutes, I ordered only two tacos, since I hadn’t hit the gym in way too long. Cary ordered six. We snagged a table just as its former occupants cleared away, and Cary inhaled a taco before I’d barely taken the wrapper off my straw.
“I’m sorry about the voice mail,” I said.
“You don’t get it.” He swiped a napkin across lips that turned sane women into giggling girls when he smiled. “It’s the whole situation, Eva. You leave me a message telling me to think about sharing a place with Cross, after you tell your mom that it’s a done deal and before you fall off the face of the earth for the weekend. I guess however I feel about it means jack shit to you.”
“That’s not true!”
“Why would you want a roommate when you’re living with a boyfriend anyway?” he asked, clearly getting warmed up. “And why would you think I’d want to be a third wheel?”
“Cary—”
“I don’t need any fucking handouts, Eva.” His emerald eyes narrowed. “I’ve got places I can crash, other people I can room with. Don’t do me any favors.”
My chest tightened. I wasn’t ready to let Cary go yet. Someday in the future, we’d be heading our separate ways, maybe only seeing each other on special occasions. But that time wasn’t now. It couldn’t be. Just thinking about it screwed with my head.
“Who says I’m doing it for you?” I shot back. “Maybe I just can’t bear the thought of not having you nearby.”
He snorted and ripped a bite out of his taco. Chewing angrily, he swallowed his food down with a long draw on his straw. “What am I, your three-year chip marking your recovery? Your celebratory token for Eva Anonymous?”
“Excuse me.” I leaned forward. “You’re mad, I get it. I’ve said I’m sorry. I love you and I love having you in my life, but I’m not going to sit here and get kicked because I fucked up.”
I pushed away from the table and stood. “I’ll catch you later.”
“You and Cross getting married?”
Pausing, I looked down at him. “He asked. I said yes.”
Cary nodded, as if that were no surprise, and took another bite. I grabbed my purse from where it hung on the back of my chair.
“Are you afraid of living alone with him?” he asked around his chewing.
Of course he’d think that. “No. He’ll be sleeping in his own bedroom.”
“Has he been sleeping in a separate room the last few weekends you’ve been shacking up with him?”
I stared. Did he know for a fact that Gideon was the “loverman” I’d been spending time with? Or was he just fishing? I decided I didn’t care. I was tired of lying to him. “Mostly, yes.”
He set his taco down. “Finally, some truth out of you. I was beginning to think you’d forgotten how to be honest.”
“Fuck you.”
Grinning, he gestured at my vacant chair. “Sit your ass back down, baby girl. We’re not done talking.”
“You’re being a jerk.”
His smile faded and his gaze hardened. “Being lied to for weeks makes me cranky. Sit down.”
I sat and glared at him. “There? Happy?”
“Eat. I’ve got shit to say.”
Exhaling my frustration, I slung my purse over the chair again and faced him with my brows raised.
“If you think,” he began, “that being sober and working steadily broke my bullshit meter, now you know better. I knew you were nailing Cross again from the moment you started back up.”
Biting into my taco, I shot him a skeptical look.
“Eva honey, don’t you think that if there were another man in New York who could bang it out all night like Cross, I would’ve found him by now?”
I coughed and nearly spit out my food.
“No one’s lucky enough to find two guys like that in a row,” he drawled. “Not even you. You should’ve had a dry spell or at least a couple of really bad lays first.”
I threw my wadded-up straw wrapper at him, which he dodged with a laugh.
Then he sobered. “Did you think I would judge you for getting back together with him after he jacked up?”
“It’s more complicated than that, Cary. Things were … a mess. There was a lot of pressure. Still is, with that reporter stalking Gideon—”
“Stalking him?”
“Totally. I just didn’t want …” You exposed. Vulnerable. Open to accusation as an accomplice after the fact. “I just had to let it play out,” I finished lamely.
He let that sink in, then nodded. “And now you’re going to marry him.”
“Yes.” I took a drink, needing to loosen the lump in my throat. “But you’re the only one who knows that besides us.”
“Finally, a secret you let me in on.” His lips pursed for a few seconds. “And you still want me to live with you.”
I leaned forward again, holding out my hand for his. “I know you can do something else, go somewhere else. But I’d rather you didn’t. I’m not ready to be without you yet, married or not.”
He gripped my hand so tightly, my bones pressed together. “Eva—”
“Wait,” I said quickly. He was far too serious all of a sudden. I didn’t want him to cut me off before I put everything out there. “Gideon’s penthouse has an adjacent one-bedroom apartment he doesn’t use.”
“A one-bedroom apartment. On Fifth Avenue.”
“Yeah. Great, right? All yours. Your own space and entrance and view of Central Park. But still connected to me. The best of both worlds.” I rushed on, hoping to say something he’d latch on to. “We’ll stay on the Upper West Side for a bit, while I make changes to the penthouse. Gideon says we can have whatever changes you want made to your apartment done at the same time.”
“My apartment.” He stared at me, which made me even more nervous. A man and a woman tried to squeeze between our table and the back of an occupied chair that was pushed too far out into the walkway, but I ignored them.
“I’m not talking about a handout,” I assured him. “I’ve been thinking that I’d like to put that money I’ve been sitting on to work. Create a foundation or something to decide how to use it in support of causes and charities we believe in. I need your help. And I’ll pay you for it. Not just for your input, but for your face. I want you to be the foundation’s first spokesperson.”
Cary’s grip on my hand slackened.
Alarmed, I tightened mine. “Cary?”
His shoulders sagged. “Tatiana’s pregnant.”
“What?” I felt the blood drain from my face. The little restaurant was hopping, and the shouting of orders behind the counter and the clatter of trays and utensils made it hard to hear, but I’d caught the two words that fell out of Cary’s mouth as if he’d shouted them at me. “Are you kidding?”
“I wish.” He pulled his hand away and scooped back the bangs that draped over one eye. “Not that I don’t want a kid. That part’s cool. But … fuck. Not now, you know? And not with her.”
“How the hell did she get pregnant?” Cary was religious about protecting himself, knowing damn well he lived a high-risk lifestyle.
“Well, I shoved my dick in her and pushed it around—”
“Shut up,” I bit out. “You’re careful.”
“Yeah, well, putting a sock on it isn’t guaranteed protection,” he said wearily, “and Tat doesn’t take the pill because she says it makes her break out and eat too much.”
“Jesus.” My eyes stung. “Are you sure it’s yours?”
He snorted. “No, but that doesn’t mean it’s not. She’s six weeks along, so it’s possible.”
I had to ask. “Is she going to keep it?”
“I don’t know. She’s thinking it over.”
“Cary …” I couldn’t hold back the tear that slid down my cheek. My heart was aching for him. “What are you going to do?”
“What can I do?” He slumped back in his chair. “It’s her decision.”
His powerlessness had to be killing him. After his mother had given birth to him, unwanted, she’d used abortion as birth control. I knew that haunted him. He’d told me so. “And if she decides to go through with the pregnancy? You’ll have a paternity test done, right?”
“God, Eva.” He looked at me with reddened eyes. “I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. What the hell am I supposed to say to Trey? Things are just starting to smooth out between us and I’ve got to hit him with this? He’s going to dump me. It’s over.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I straightened in my chair. I couldn’t let Cary and Trey fall apart. Now that Gideon and I were good,

Hasil (Bahasa Indonesia) 1:

Aku berada di lobi oleh lima setelah tengah hari, tetapi Cary belum tiba lagi. Seperti saya menunggu untuk dia, saraf saya mulai mendapatkan padaku. Saya telah pergi selama percakapan singkat saya dengan Cary lagi dan lagi dan tahu dia benar. Saya telah meyakinkan diri dia akan baik-baik saja dengan memiliki Gideon bergabung dengan pengaturan hidup kita karena aku tidak bisa membayangkan menghadapi alternatif — harus memilih antara sahabatku dan pacar saya.Dan sekarang ada pilihan. Aku sudah menikah. Kegirangan begitu.Namun, aku mendapati diriku berterima kasih bahwa saya telah tersimpan cincin kawin ke dalam saku ritsleting tas. Jika Cary merasa semakin jarak antara kami, yang mencari aku mendapat memasang selama akhir pekan tidak akan membantu.Twisted perut saya. Rahasia antara kami yang meningkat. Saya tidak bisa tahan."Eva."Aku tersentak dari pikiran saya di suara sahabat saya. Ia melangkah ke arahku mengenakan celana pendek kargo longgar dan V-neck T-shirt. Dia terus nuansa nya, dan dengan tangannya mendorong di saku, ia tampak jauh dan dingin. Kepala berubah ketika dia berjalan oleh dan dia tidak memperhatikan, perhatiannya pada saya.Kakiku pindah. Aku bergegas ke arahnya sebelum memikirkan hal itu, kemudian berlari langsung ke dia begitu keras, napas meninggalkan Dia dengan kasar. Saya memeluk dia, pipi saya ditekan ke dada."Aku rindu padamu," kataku, berarti dengan segenap hatiku, meskipun ia tidak tahu persis mengapa.Dia bergumam sesuatu di bawah napas dan memelukku. "Rasa sakit di pantat kadang-kadang, bayi perempuan."Menarik kembali, aku memandang ke arahnya. "Saya minta maaf."Ia dikaitkan jarinya dengan saya dan membawa saya dari baku tembak. Kami pergi ke tempat dengan besar taco yang kita telah pergi ke waktu terakhir yang ia temui saya untuk makan siang. Mereka juga memiliki besar Margarita perawan yang basah, yang sempurna pada hari musim panas gerah.Setelah menunggu di garis sekitar sepuluh menit, saya memesan taco hanya dua, karena saya tidak memukul gym di terlalu lama. Cary memerintahkan enam. Kami tersangkut tabel seperti penghuninya mantan dibersihkan, dan Cary dihirup taco sebelum aku nyaris tidak mengambil pembungkus dari jerami saya."Saya minta maaf tentang pesan suara," kataku."Anda tidak mendapatkan itu." Dia mengusap serbet di bibir yang menjadi wanita waras cekikikan gadis ketika Dia tersenyum. "Itu adalah seluruh situasi, Eva. Anda meninggalkan saya pesan memberitahu saya untuk berpikir tentang berbagi tempat dengan Cross, setelah Anda memberitahu ibumu bahwa itu adalah kesepakatan dilakukan dan sebelum Anda jatuh dari muka bumi untuk akhir pekan. Kurasa namun saya merasa hal itu berarti jack kotoran Anda. ""Itu tidak benar!""Mengapa Anda ingin teman sekamar ketika Anda tinggal dengan pacar anyway?" Dia bertanya, jelas semakin menghangat. "Dan mengapa Anda berpikir saya ingin menjadi roda ketiga?""Cary —""Aku tidak membutuhkan apapun sialan handout, Eva." Matanya zamrud mempersempit. "Aku punya tempat-tempat yang aku dapat kecelakaan, orang lain dapat saya kamar. Jangan lakukan saya bantuan apapun."Dada saya diperketat. Aku tidak siap untuk membiarkan Cary pergi dulu. Suatu hari di masa depan, kita akan menuju kami berpisah, mungkin hanya melihat satu sama lain pada kesempatan khusus. Tapi saat itu tidak sekarang. Tidak bisa. Hanya berpikir tentang hal itu mengacaukan dengan kepala saya."Siapa bilang aku melakukannya untuk Anda?" Aku menembak kembali. "Mungkin saya hanya tidak tahan pikiran tidak karena Anda dekat."Dia mendengus dan merobek menggigit keluar dari taco nya. Mengunyah dengan marah, ia menelan makanan turun dengan menarik panjang di atas jerami nya. "Apa aku, chip tiga tahun Anda menandai pemulihan Anda? Token perayaan untuk Eva Anonymous?""Maafkan aku." Aku membungkuk ke depan. "Kau gila, aku mendapatkannya. Aku sudah mengatakan aku menyesal. Aku mencintaimu dan aku mencintaimu karena kau dalam hidupku, tapi aku tidak akan duduk di sini dan mendapatkan hukuman karena saya kacau."Saya mendorong dari tabel dan berdiri. "Aku akan menangkap kamu kemudian.""Anda dan lintas menikah?"Berhenti, aku melihat arahnya. "Dia bertanya. Aku bilang ya."Cary mengangguk, seolah-olah itu adalah tidak mengherankan, dan menggigit. Aku menyambar tas tanganku dari mana itu tergantung di belakang kursi saya."Apakah Anda takut hidup sendirian dengan dia?" Dia bertanya sekitar mengunyah nya.Tentu dia akan berpikir bahwa. "No. Dia akan tidur di kamar tidurnya sendiri.""Telah ia telah tidur di ruang yang terpisah beberapa akhir pekan terakhir Anda telah shacking dengan dia?"Aku menatap. Apakah ia tahu fakta bahwa Gideon merupakan "loverman" Aku telah menghabiskan waktu dengan? Atau ia hanya Memancing? Aku memutuskan aku tidak peduli. Saya sudah lelah berbohong kepadanya. "Sebagian besar, ya."Dia meletakkan taco nya. "Akhirnya, beberapa kebenaran dari Anda. Saya mulai berpikir Anda sudah lupa bagaimana menjadi jujur. ""Fuck you."Menyeringai, ia memberi isyarat pada kursi kosong. "Duduklah pantat Anda turun, bayi perempuan. Kami tidak selesai berbicara. ""Anda sedang brengsek."Pudar senyum dan tatapan mengeras. "Dibohongi selama minggu membuat saya rewel. Duduk."Aku duduk dan melotot padanya. "Ada? Bahagia?""Makan. Saya sudah mendapat kotoran mengatakan."Mengembuskan frustrasi saya, saya tersandang di tas saya kursi lagi dan menghadapi alis saya dibesarkan."Jika Anda berpikir," ia mulai, "itu menjadi mabuk dan bekerja terus bangkrut meter omong kosong saya, sekarang Anda tahu lebih baik. Saya tahu Anda sedang memaku salib lagi dari saat Anda mulai kembali."Menggigit taco saya, aku menembaknya pandangan skeptis."Eva madu, jangan Anda berpikir bahwa jika ada orang lain di New York yang bisa bang itu keluar sepanjang malam seperti Cross, saya akan telah menemukan dia sekarang?"Saya batuk dan hampir meludahkan makanan saya."Tidak ada cukup beruntung untuk menemukan dua orang seperti itu dalam satu baris," ia digambarkan. "Bahkan tidak Anda. Anda harus punya mantra kering atau setidaknya beberapa benar-benar buruk meletakkan pertama."Aku melemparkan saya bungkus jerami wadded-up kepadanya, yang ia menghindar dengan tertawa.Kemudian dia mabuk. "Apakah Anda pikir saya akan menilai Anda untuk mendapatkan kembali bersama-sama dengan dia setelah dia mendongkrak?""Itu lebih rumit daripada itu, Cary. Keadaan berantakan.... Ada banyak tekanan. Masih adalah, dengan reporter itu menguntit Gideon — ""Menguntit dia?""Benar-benar. Aku hanya tidak ingin..." Anda terkena. Rentan. Terbuka untuk tuduhan sebagai kaki tangan setelah fakta. "Saya hanya harus membiarkannya bermain keluar," aku selesai dengan lirih.Ia membiarkan itu tenggelam, maka mengangguk. "Dan sekarang Anda akan menikah dengannya.""Ya." Aku mengambil minuman, perlu untuk melonggarkan benjolan di tenggorokan. "Tapi kau satu-satunya yang tahu bahwa selain kami.""Akhirnya, rahasia Anda membiarkan aku masuk pada." Bibirnya diburu untuk beberapa detik. "Dan Anda masih ingin saya untuk hidup dengan Anda."Aku membungkuk ke depan lagi, memegang tanganku untuk nya. "Saya tahu Anda dapat melakukan sesuatu yang lain, pergi ke tempat lain. Tapi aku lebih suka Anda tidak. Aku tidak siap untuk menjadi tanpa Anda belum, menikah atau tidak."Ia mencengkeram tanganku jadi erat, tulangku ditekan bersama-sama. "Eva —""Tunggu," kataku dengan cepat. Dia adalah terlalu serius semua dari sudden. Aku tidak ingin dia untuk memotong saya sebelum saya meletakkan segala sesuatu di luar sana. "Gideon penthouse mempunyai sebuah apartemen 1-kamar tidur yang berdekatan, dia tidak menggunakan.""Apartemen. Di Fifth Avenue.""ya. Besar, kanan? Semua milikmu. Ruang Anda sendiri dan masuk dan pemandangan Central Park. Tapi masih terhubung ke saya. Yang terbaik dari kedua dunia." Aku bergegas, berharap untuk mengatakan sesuatu yang ia akan kait untuk. "Kami akan tinggal di Upper West Side untuk sedikit, sementara aku membuat perubahan ke penthouse. Gideon mengatakan kami bisa membuat perubahan apa pun yang Anda inginkan ke apartemen Anda dilakukan pada waktu yang sama."“My apartment.” He stared at me, which made me even more nervous. A man and a woman tried to squeeze between our table and the back of an occupied chair that was pushed too far out into the walkway, but I ignored them.“I’m not talking about a handout,” I assured him. “I’ve been thinking that I’d like to put that money I’ve been sitting on to work. Create a foundation or something to decide how to use it in support of causes and charities we believe in. I need your help. And I’ll pay you for it. Not just for your input, but for your face. I want you to be the foundation’s first spokesperson.”Cary’s grip on my hand slackened.Alarmed, I tightened mine. “Cary?”His shoulders sagged. “Tatiana’s pregnant.”“What?” I felt the blood drain from my face. The little restaurant was hopping, and the shouting of orders behind the counter and the clatter of trays and utensils made it hard to hear, but I’d caught the two words that fell out of Cary’s mouth as if he’d shouted them at me. “Are you kidding?”“I wish.” He pulled his hand away and scooped back the bangs that draped over one eye. “Not that I don’t want a kid. That part’s cool. But … fuck. Not now, you know? And not with her.”“How the hell did she get pregnant?” Cary was religious about protecting himself, knowing damn well he lived a high-risk lifestyle.“Well, I shoved my dick in her and pushed it around—”“Shut up,” I bit out. “You’re careful.”
“Yeah, well, putting a sock on it isn’t guaranteed protection,” he said wearily, “and Tat doesn’t take the pill because she says it makes her break out and eat too much.”
“Jesus.” My eyes stung. “Are you sure it’s yours?”
He snorted. “No, but that doesn’t mean it’s not. She’s six weeks along, so it’s possible.”
I had to ask. “Is she going to keep it?”
“I don’t know. She’s thinking it over.”
“Cary …” I couldn’t hold back the tear that slid down my cheek. My heart was aching for him. “What are you going to do?”
“What can I do?” He slumped back in his chair. “It’s her decision.”
His powerlessness had to be killing him. After his mother had given birth to him, unwanted, she’d used abortion as birth control. I knew that haunted him. He’d told me so. “And if she decides to go through with the pregnancy? You’ll have a paternity test done, right?”
“God, Eva.” He looked at me with reddened eyes. “I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. What the hell am I supposed to say to Trey? Things are just starting to smooth out between us and I’ve got to hit him with this? He’s going to dump me. It’s over.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I straightened in my chair. I couldn’t let Cary and Trey fall apart. Now that Gideon and I were good,