I could see why my mother hadn’t be

I could see why my mother hadn’t been able to resist him when they’d met. And apparently still couldn’t.
“I heard you talking,” he said without looking at me.
“Oh.” My stomach dropped. It was bad enough spilling my guts to Gideon. Knowing that my dad had heard me do it only made it worse.
“I was going to talk to you about whether you knew what you were doing, getting engaged so soon and so young.”
I pulled my legs up and crossed them under me. “I figured you would.”
“But now I think I understand what you’re feeling.” He looked at me, his gray eyes soft and searching. “You express it far better than I ever could, back in the day. The most I could ever get out was ‘I love you,’ and it’s just not enough.”
I could see he was thinking about my mom. I knew it must be hard not to when I looked so much like her. “Gideon doesn’t think those words are enough, either.”
I looked down at my rings. The one Gideon had given me to express his need to hold on to me, and the other both a symbol of his commitment and a tribute to a time in his past when he’d last felt loved. “He shows me, though. All the time.”
“I’ve talked to him a few times now.” My dad paused. “I have to remind myself that he’s in his twenties.”
That made me smile. “He’s very self-possessed.”
“He’s also very hard to read.”
My smile widened. “He’s a poker player. But he means what he says.”
I believed Gideon implicitly. He always told me the truth. The problem was, there was a lot he didn’t tell me.
“And he wants to marry my daughter.”
I shot him a look. “You gave him your blessing.”
“He said he would always take care of you. He promised to keep you safe and make you happy.” He stared across the street at the Benz. “I still don’t know why I believe him, even with him staking out my place for you. Doesn’t help that he lied about waiting to ask you.”
“He couldn’t wait, Dad. Don’t hold it against him. He loves me too much.”
He looked at me again. “You didn’t sound happy when you were just talking to him.”
“No. I sounded desperate and insecure.” I sighed. “I love him like mad, but I hate when I get needy with it. We should be balanced in our relationship. Equals.”
“Good goal. Don’t lose sight of it. Does he want that, too?”
“He wants us to be together. In everything. But he’s built a reputation and an empire, and I want to build my own. Not necessarily the empire, but the reputation for sure.”
“Have you talked to him about this?”
“Oh yeah.” My mouth quirked. “But he believes Mrs. Cross should naturally play on Team Cross. And I can see his point.”
“It’s good to hear that you’ve been thinking this through.”
I heard the pause. “But?”
“But that could be a serious issue, couldn’t it?”
I loved the way my dad urged me to explore without trying to sway me or judge. He’d always been that way. “Yes. I don’t think it would become a deal breaker for us, but it could cause problems. He isn’t used to not getting what he wants.”
“Then you’re good for him.”
“He thinks so.” I shrugged. “Gideon isn’t the problem. It’s me. He’s been through a lot in his life and he’s had to deal with it on his own. I don’t want him to feel like he’s got to handle everything himself anymore. I want him to feel like we’re a unit and that I’m here to support him. That’s a hard message to send when I want my own independence, too.”
“You’re a lot like me,” he said with a soft smile, looking so handsome that my heart swelled with pride.
“I know you’ll get along with him. He’s a good man, with a beautiful heart. He’d do anything for me, Dad.” Even kill for me.
The thought made me queasy. The possibility that Gideon would have to answer for Nathan’s death in some way was all too real. I couldn’t let anything happen to him.
“Would he let me pay for the wedding?” My dad snorted out a laugh. “I guess I should ask how much of a fight you think your mother would give me.”
“Dad …” My chest tightened again. After the discussions we’d had about paying for my college tuition, I knew better than to say he didn’t have to stretch his finances to the breaking point for me. It was a point of pride and my father was a very proud man. “I don’t know what to say except thank you.”
He gave me a relieved smile and I realized that he’d been expecting me to be resistant, too. “I’ve got about fifty large. I know it’s not much—”
I reached for his hand. “It’s perfect.”
I could already hear my mom’s freakout in my head. I’d cope with that when the time came.
It would be worth it for the look on my father’s face at that moment.
“IT hasn’t changed.” Cary paused on the sidewalk outside the former recreation center and pulled the sunglasses off his face. His gaze slid over the gym’s entrance. “I’ve missed this place.”
I reached for his hand and linked our fingers. “Me, too.”
We headed up the walk and nodded at the couple standing by the door smoking. Then we went inside and were greeted by the sights and sounds of a hoops match in progress. Two teams of three played a half-court game, taunting each other and laughing. I knew from experience that sometimes Dr. Travis’s unusual offices were the only place one felt free and safe enough to laugh.
We waved at the players, who paused just long enough to register us, and then we made a beeline for the door that still had Coach emblazoned on the glass inset. It was ajar and a beloved figure lounged in a worn desk chair with his feet propped on the desk. He tossed a tennis ball against the wall and caught it deftly, over and over, while a fellow patient I knew from before vaped on an electronic cigarette and talked.
“Oh my God.” Kyle stood in a rush, her pretty red mouth falling open and a cloud of vapor billowing out. “I didn’t know you two were back!”
She launched herself at Cary, barely giving me time to let his hand go.
Dr. Travis folded his legs and then stood, his kind face splitting with a welcoming grin. He was dressed in his usual khakis and dress shirt, with the leather sandals on his feet and the earrings in his ears giving him away as a tad unconventional. His sandy brown hair was shaggy and messy, and his wire-rimmed glasses were slightly skewed on the bridge of his nose.
“I wasn’t expecting you two until sometime after three,” he said.
“It’s after three in New York,” Cary rejoined, disentangling himself from Kyle.
I had my suspicions that Cary had slept with the pretty blonde at some point, and that she hadn’t brushed it off as easily as he had.
Dr. Travis caught me up in a quick hug, then did the same to Cary. I watched my best friend’s eyes close and his cheek rest for a moment on Dr. Travis’s shoulder. My eyes stung as they always did whenever I saw Cary happy. Dr. Travis was the closest thing to a father that he had and I knew how much Cary loved him.
“You two still watching each other’s backs in the Big Apple?”
“Of course,” I replied.
Cary jerked his thumb at me. “She’s getting married. I’m having a baby.”
Kyle gasped.
I elbowed Cary in the ribs.
“Oww,” he complained, rubbing his side.
Dr. Travis blinked. “Congratulations. Quick work, both of you.”
“I’ll say,” Kyle muttered. “What’s it been? A month?”
“Kyle.” Dr. Travis tucked his chair into his desk. “Would you give us a minute?”
She snorted and sauntered toward the door. “You’re good, Doc, but I think you’re going to need more time than that.”
“ENGAGED, huh?” Kyle took another drag off her e-cigarette, her eyes on Cary as he leaped above Dr. Travis’s head and made a slam dunk. We sat on the worn bleachers about three rows from the top, enough distance away that we couldn’t overhear the therapy session taking place on the court.
Cary got restless when he opened up. Dr. Travis had quickly learned to keep Cary physically active if he wanted to keep him talking.
Kyle looked at me. “I always kinda figured you and Cary would end up together.”
I laughed and shook my head. “It’s not like that with us. Never has been.”
She shrugged. Her eyes were the color of the San Diego sky and heavily rimmed with electric blue liner. “You known this guy you’re marrying long?”
“Long enough.”
Dr. Travis nailed a bank shot and then ruffled Cary’s hair affectionately. I saw him glance at me and knew it was my turn.
I stood and stretched. “Catch you later,” I said to Kyle.
“Good luck.”

Hasil (Bahasa Indonesia) 1:

Aku bisa melihat mengapa ibu saya belum mampu menolak dia ketika mereka bertemu. Dan tampaknya masih tidak bisa."Saya mendengar Anda berbicara," katanya tanpa memandang saya."Oh." Perut saya turun. Itu buruk cukup menumpahkan saya keberanian untuk Gideon. Mengetahui bahwa ayah saya telah mendengar saya melakukannya hanya membuatnya lebih buruk."Aku akan berbicara dengan Anda tentang apakah Anda tahu apa yang Anda lakukan, mendapatkan bergerak begitu cepat dan begitu muda."Aku menarik kaki dan menyeberangi mereka di bawah saya. "Saya pikir Anda akan.""Tapi sekarang saya pikir saya mengerti apa yang Anda rasakan." Dia memandangku, mata abu-abu lembut dan pencarian. "Anda mengungkapkan itu jauh lebih baik daripada saya pernah bisa, kembali pada hari. Yang paling aku bisa pernah keluar adalah 'Aku mencintaimu', dan hal ini hanya tidak cukup."Aku bisa melihat dia memikirkan ibuku. Aku tahu pasti sulit untuk tidak ketika saya melihat begitu banyak seperti dia. "Gideon tidak berpikir kata-kata cukup, baik."Aku memandang ke bawah cincin saya. Gideon satu telah memberi saya untuk mengekspresikan perlu berpegang pada saya, dan lainnya kedua simbol komitmen dan penghargaan untuk waktu yang di masa lalu ketika ia terakhir merasa dicintai. "Dia menunjukkan saya, meskipun. Sepanjang waktu.""Aku telah berbicara dengannya beberapa kali sekarang." Ayahku berhenti. "Aku harus mengingatkan diri bahwa dia adalah di dua puluhan."Yang membuat saya tersenyum. "Dia sangat dimiliki diri.""Dia juga sangat sulit untuk dibaca."Saya tersenyum melebar. "Dia adalah seorang pemain poker. "Tapi ia berarti apa yang dikatakannya."Saya percaya secara implisit Gideon. Dia selalu mengatakan kebenaran. Masalahnya adalah, ada banyak dia tidak memberitahu saya."Dan dia ingin menikahi putri saya."Aku menembak dia melihat. "Anda memberinya berkat Anda.""Dia mengatakan dia akan selalu menjaga Anda. Ia berjanji untuk membuat Anda tetap aman dan membuat Anda bahagia." Dia menatap di seberang jalan Benz. "Aku masih tidak tahu mengapa aku percaya padanya, bahkan dengan dia mempertaruhkan saya tempat untuk Anda. Tidak membantu bahwa ia berbohong tentang menunggu untuk meminta Anda.""Dia tidak bisa menunggu, ayah. Tidak tahan terhadap dirinya. Dia mencintai saya terlalu banyak."Dia memandang saya lagi. "Anda tidak terdengar bahagia ketika Anda hanya berbicara kepadanya.""No. saya terdengar putus asa dan tidak aman." Saya menghela napas. "Aku mencintainya seperti gila, tapi aku benci ketika saya mendapatkan miskin dengan itu. Kita harus seimbang dalam hubungan kita. Sama dengan.""Baik tujuan. Jangan kehilangan itu. Apakah dia ingin itu, juga?""Dia ingin kita untuk bersama-sama. Dalam segala hal. Tetapi ia telah membangun reputasi dan sebuah kerajaan, dan aku ingin untuk membangun sendiri. Kekaisaran tidak selalu, tetapi reputasi pasti. ""Apakah Anda berbicara dengannya tentang hal ini?""Oh ya." Mulut saya quirked. "Tapi ia percaya Cross ibu alami harus bermain di tim Cross. Dan aku bisa melihat maksudnya.""Itu baik untuk mendengar bahwa Anda sudah berpikir ini."Aku mendengar jeda. "Tetapi?""Tapi itu bisa menjadi masalah serius, tidak bisa itu?"Aku menyukai cara ayah saya mendesak saya untuk mengeksplorasi tanpa berusaha untuk bergoyang saya atau hakim. Ia selalu begitu. "Ya. Saya tidak berpikir itu akan menjadi deal breaker bagi kita, tetapi bisa menyebabkan masalah. Ia tidak digunakan untuk tidak mendapatkan apa yang dia inginkan.""Kemudian Anda baik baginya.""Ia berpikir begitu." Aku mengangkat bahu. "Gideon bukan masalah. It's me. Dia telah melalui banyak dalam hidupnya dan ia harus berurusan dengan itu sendiri. Saya tidak ingin dia merasa seperti dia harus menangani semuanya sendiri lagi. Aku ingin dia merasa seperti kita unit dan bahwa saya di sini untuk mendukungnya. Itu adalah pesan yang keras untuk mengirim ketika saya ingin saya sendiri kemerdekaan, juga.""Kau banyak seperti saya," ia berkata dengan senyum yang lembut, tampak begitu tampan hatiku membengkak dengan bangga."Saya tahu Anda akan mendapatkan dengannya. Dia adalah seorang yang baik, dengan hati yang indah. Dia akan melakukan apa-apa bagi saya, ayah." Bahkan membunuh bagi saya.Pemikiran yang membuat saya mual. Kemungkinan bahwa Gideon harus menjawab untuk Nathan's kematian dalam beberapa cara terlalu nyata. Aku tidak bisa membiarkan sesuatu terjadi padanya."Akan dia membiarkan saya membayar untuk pernikahan?" Ayahku mendengus keluar tertawa. "Kurasa aku harus meminta berapa banyak perkelahian Anda pikir ibu Anda akan memberi saya.""Ayah..." Dada saya diperketat lagi. Setelah diskusi kami punya tentang membayar biaya kuliah saya, saya tahu lebih baik daripada mengatakan dia tidak punya untuk meregangkan nya keuangan ke titik melanggar untuk saya. Itu adalah titik kebanggaan dan ayah saya adalah seorang pria yang sangat bangga. "Saya tidak tahu harus berkata apa kecuali terima kasih."He gave me a relieved smile and I realized that he’d been expecting me to be resistant, too. “I’ve got about fifty large. I know it’s not much—”I reached for his hand. “It’s perfect.”I could already hear my mom’s freakout in my head. I’d cope with that when the time came.It would be worth it for the look on my father’s face at that moment.“IT hasn’t changed.” Cary paused on the sidewalk outside the former recreation center and pulled the sunglasses off his face. His gaze slid over the gym’s entrance. “I’ve missed this place.”I reached for his hand and linked our fingers. “Me, too.”We headed up the walk and nodded at the couple standing by the door smoking. Then we went inside and were greeted by the sights and sounds of a hoops match in progress. Two teams of three played a half-court game, taunting each other and laughing. I knew from experience that sometimes Dr. Travis’s unusual offices were the only place one felt free and safe enough to laugh.We waved at the players, who paused just long enough to register us, and then we made a beeline for the door that still had Coach emblazoned on the glass inset. It was ajar and a beloved figure lounged in a worn desk chair with his feet propped on the desk. He tossed a tennis ball against the wall and caught it deftly, over and over, while a fellow patient I knew from before vaped on an electronic cigarette and talked.“Oh my God.” Kyle stood in a rush, her pretty red mouth falling open and a cloud of vapor billowing out. “I didn’t know you two were back!”She launched herself at Cary, barely giving me time to let his hand go.Dr. Travis folded his legs and then stood, his kind face splitting with a welcoming grin. He was dressed in his usual khakis and dress shirt, with the leather sandals on his feet and the earrings in his ears giving him away as a tad unconventional. His sandy brown hair was shaggy and messy, and his wire-rimmed glasses were slightly skewed on the bridge of his nose.“I wasn’t expecting you two until sometime after three,” he said.“It’s after three in New York,” Cary rejoined, disentangling himself from Kyle.I had my suspicions that Cary had slept with the pretty blonde at some point, and that she hadn’t brushed it off as easily as he had.Dr. Travis caught me up in a quick hug, then did the same to Cary. I watched my best friend’s eyes close and his cheek rest for a moment on Dr. Travis’s shoulder. My eyes stung as they always did whenever I saw Cary happy. Dr. Travis was the closest thing to a father that he had and I knew how much Cary loved him.“You two still watching each other’s backs in the Big Apple?”“Of course,” I replied.Cary jerked his thumb at me. “She’s getting married. I’m having a baby.”Kyle gasped.I elbowed Cary in the ribs.“Oww,” he complained, rubbing his side.
Dr. Travis blinked. “Congratulations. Quick work, both of you.”
“I’ll say,” Kyle muttered. “What’s it been? A month?”
“Kyle.” Dr. Travis tucked his chair into his desk. “Would you give us a minute?”
She snorted and sauntered toward the door. “You’re good, Doc, but I think you’re going to need more time than that.”
“ENGAGED, huh?” Kyle took another drag off her e-cigarette, her eyes on Cary as he leaped above Dr. Travis’s head and made a slam dunk. We sat on the worn bleachers about three rows from the top, enough distance away that we couldn’t overhear the therapy session taking place on the court.
Cary got restless when he opened up. Dr. Travis had quickly learned to keep Cary physically active if he wanted to keep him talking.
Kyle looked at me. “I always kinda figured you and Cary would end up together.”
I laughed and shook my head. “It’s not like that with us. Never has been.”
She shrugged. Her eyes were the color of the San Diego sky and heavily rimmed with electric blue liner. “You known this guy you’re marrying long?”
“Long enough.”
Dr. Travis nailed a bank shot and then ruffled Cary’s hair affectionately. I saw him glance at me and knew it was my turn.
I stood and stretched. “Catch you later,” I said to Kyle.
“Good luck.”