Even if it was negative attention,

Even if it was negative attention, at least he acknowledged my existence in some way. Maybe, if he still took the trouble to cross my path, then he might be holding a piece of me with him, too. But he was done, as he’d said.

As I stood, I remember that Jared had promised to have me in tears this week. Job well done, and it was only Tuesday. Wiping my eyes, I had to admit that the dick had skill.

***

“Sorry I left you hanging this morning,” K.C. apologized while sliding her leg over the picnic table bench. She was late to lunch, too. “So, tell me everything about last night!” She sounded plastic, like her excitement took effort. Her head was elsewhere.

Last night, I thought. The first image that hit me was her and Jared on his motorcycle, and then the kiss this morning. The second thing that came to mind was the fight I’d witnessed. The super scary figure Jared presented last night as he pounded his opponent was why people at this school fell in line around him. Some wanted to be in his orbit while others kept a respectful distance. Some people wanted to be recognized by him, while others considered themselves lucky to be unnoticed.

“Last night? Why don’t you go first?” I looked at her out of the corner of my eye while I sipped my water. I tossed around the idea of acting like I knew nothing, but her and Jared weren’t going to be in control of my emotions. This needed to be settled.

“What do you mean?” K.C. was wide-eyed.

Gotchya.

“You’re going to lie to me then? I saw you. I saw you and him on the motorcycle last night and then again this morning by the cafeteria.” I pursed my lips and threw my wadded up napkin on the table.

“Tate, this is why I didn’t tell you…”

“Tell me what? That you’re screwing the guy that hurts me? That you two are laughing behind my back?” My voice cracked, but I was grateful that I hadn’t started yelling.

“It’s not like that.”

I knew she didn’t want to hurt me, but I just couldn’t listen to it. There was no excuse. The heat of anger clouded my reason. I was fucking mad, and I wanted her to feel as bad as me.

This is how bullies are made I thought, but it still felt good to lash out, and I didn’t want to stop.

I let out a small, spiteful laugh. “You know, I think I might have to thank Jared for saving me from all this drama over the years. Friends I can’t trust and boys that would only piss me off. What are you doing with him?”

She ignored my question. “Jared saving you from what? What do you mean?”

Bloody hell. What did she care, anyway? I should just walk away, but I didn’t.

“Madoc told me all about how they both sunk every potential date I had freshman and sophomore year. They started all of the rumors and ruined any hope I had of making friends or getting a boyfriend.”

“You’re listening to Madoc now?” She slammed me with an accusatory tone.

“Seems reasonable, doesn’t it? Madoc wouldn’t lie about his best friend. And he wouldn’t tell me if he thought Jared would be mad. I think they’re both proud of themselves.”

Jared’s pleasure would come from me starting a fight with my best friend over my hatred of him or her involvement with him. The painful lump in my throat got bigger. I wanted to calm down and fix this, but it took every ounce of reason I had to not walk away. She’d betrayed me, but she’d also stuck by me through everything. I owed it to her to not run away at the first sign of trouble.

“K.C.” I continued after a couple of breaths, “I’m not okay with this. If you’re going to date Jared…” I guess I shouldn’t worry about running into Jared at K.C.’s house or trying to double date. If he succeeded, I’d lose my friend, anyway. I should tell her that he was using her, but that’d just piss her off. “I don’t trust him, and that’s not going to change.”

K.C. looked me in the eye. “And we’re friends. That will never change.”

Still mad as hell at her, I exhaled the breath I’d been holding. “Is it worth it?” I asked. “Dating him when you know I hate him?” Why was this so important? Did he really mean anything to her?

She offered a tight smile, eyes downcast. “He deserves how you feel about him, but what good has it done you to carry around this hatred?”

Annoyed, I shook my head. Believe me, if I could get rid of it, I would.

Last ditch effort to get her to use her head. “You know Jared is a major player, right? Like he’s had a lot of girls in this school and a few other schools, too.”

“Yes, Mom, I’m aware of his history. I’m not an easy target, you know?”

“No, but Jared is a good shot,” I deadpanned.

We both looked at each other and laughed. The tension in my chest eased as I realized our friendship was safe…for today.

“Come over for dinner. We need a girls’ night,” K.C. asked while peeling an orange.

“No, I can’t.” I was exhausted, and to be honest, I didn’t want to act like everything was okay. “My grandma is coming in today. I’d invite you over, but I’m sure she’ll want to do a lot of catching up. It’s been over a year since I’ve seen her. “

“Yeah, right.” At that moment, she got a text. Opening it up, she grinned from ear to ear as if enjoying a private joke.

Noticing me watching her, she gave me an apologetic smile and continued eating. Glancing at the windows to the cafeteria, I spied Jared inside, leisurely sitting at his table with his phone in his hand. He smirked at me, and I knew he’d been watching us.

And I wiped a fake tear with my middle finger. Again.

Hasil (Bahasa Indonesia) 1:

Bahkan jika itu perhatian negatif, setidaknya dia mengakui keberadaan saya dalam beberapa cara. Mungkin, jika ia masih mengambil kesulitan untuk lintas jalan saya, kemudian dia mungkin memegang sepotong saya dengan dia, terlalu. Tapi ia selesai, seperti yang dikatakannya.Saat saya berdiri, aku ingat bahwa Jared telah berjanji untuk memiliki aku menangis minggu ini. Pekerjaan yang baik dilakukan, dan itu adalah hanya Selasa. Mengusap mata saya, saya harus mengakui bahwa dick memiliki keterampilan.***"Maaf aku meninggalkan Anda menggantung pagi ini," K.C. meminta maaf sementara geser kakinya atas bangku meja piknik. Dia adalah terlambat untuk makan siang, juga. "Jadi, ceritakan kepadaku segala hal tadi malam!" Dia terdengar plastik, seperti Nya kegembiraan mengambil usaha. Kepalanya adalah di tempat lain.Tadi malam, saya pikir. Gambar pertama yang memukul saya adalah dirinya dan Jared motornya, dan kemudian ciuman pagi ini. Hal kedua yang datang ke pikiran adalah pertarungan yang saya telah menyaksikan. Gambar super menakutkan Jared disajikan malam terakhir sebagai dia ditumbuk lawannya adalah mengapa orang-orang di sekolah ini jatuh dalam antrean di sekelilingnya. Beberapa ingin berada di orbit nya sementara yang lain menjaga jarak hormat. Beberapa orang ingin diakui oleh dia, sementara lainnya menganggap diri mereka beruntung untuk menjadi tanpa diketahui."Tadi malam? Kenapa tidak Anda pergi pertama?" Aku melihat dia dari sudut mata saya sementara aku menghirup air. I melemparkan sekitar ide bertindak seperti saya tidak tahu, tapi dia dan Jared tidak akan mengendalikan emosi saya. Ini diperlukan untuk diselesaikan."Apa maksudmu?" K.C. adalah mata terbelalak.Gotchya."Anda akan berbohong padaku kemudian? Saya melihat Anda. Aku melihat Anda dan dia pada sepeda motor semalam dan kemudian lagi pagi ini oleh kantin. " Aku diburu bibir saya dan melemparkan saya wadded serbet di atas meja."Tate, ini adalah mengapa saya tidak memberitahu Anda...""Ceritakan apa? Bahwa Anda sedang meniduri orang yang sakit saya? Bahwa kalian berdua tertawa belakang saya?" Suara saya retak, tapi saya bersyukur bahwa saya tidak mulai berteriak."Hal ini tidak seperti itu."Aku tahu dia tidak ingin menyakiti saya, tapi aku hanya tidak bisa mendengarkan. Ada alasan. Kemarahan berkabut alasan saya. Aku sedang meniduri marah, dan aku ingin dia merasa sama buruknya dengan saya.Ini adalah bagaimana pengganggu yang membuat saya berpikir, tetapi masih merasa baik untuk menyerang, dan aku tidak ingin berhenti.Aku membiarkan keluar tertawa kecil, pendendam. "Kau tahu, saya pikir saya mungkin harus terima Jared untuk menyelamatkan saya dari semua drama ini selama bertahun-tahun. Teman saya tidak bisa percaya dan anak laki-laki yang hanya akan membuatku marah. Apa yang Anda lakukan dengan dia?"Dia mengabaikan pertanyaan saya. "Jared menyelamatkan Anda dari apa? Apa maksudmu?"Neraka berdarah. Apa dia peduli, anyway? Aku hanya harus berjalan pergi, tapi aku tidak."Utica mengatakan kepada saya semua tentang bagaimana mereka berdua tenggelam setiap tanggal potensial saya punya tahun mahasiswa baru dan mahasiswa tahun kedua. Mereka mulai semua desas-desus dan merusak harapan aku membuat teman-teman atau mendapatkan pacar.""Anda sedang mendengarkan Utica sekarang?" Dia membanting saya dengan nada fitnah.“Seems reasonable, doesn’t it? Madoc wouldn’t lie about his best friend. And he wouldn’t tell me if he thought Jared would be mad. I think they’re both proud of themselves.”Jared’s pleasure would come from me starting a fight with my best friend over my hatred of him or her involvement with him. The painful lump in my throat got bigger. I wanted to calm down and fix this, but it took every ounce of reason I had to not walk away. She’d betrayed me, but she’d also stuck by me through everything. I owed it to her to not run away at the first sign of trouble.“K.C.” I continued after a couple of breaths, “I’m not okay with this. If you’re going to date Jared…” I guess I shouldn’t worry about running into Jared at K.C.’s house or trying to double date. If he succeeded, I’d lose my friend, anyway. I should tell her that he was using her, but that’d just piss her off. “I don’t trust him, and that’s not going to change.”K.C. looked me in the eye. “And we’re friends. That will never change.”Still mad as hell at her, I exhaled the breath I’d been holding. “Is it worth it?” I asked. “Dating him when you know I hate him?” Why was this so important? Did he really mean anything to her?She offered a tight smile, eyes downcast. “He deserves how you feel about him, but what good has it done you to carry around this hatred?”Annoyed, I shook my head. Believe me, if I could get rid of it, I would.Last ditch effort to get her to use her head. “You know Jared is a major player, right? Like he’s had a lot of girls in this school and a few other schools, too.”“Yes, Mom, I’m aware of his history. I’m not an easy target, you know?”“No, but Jared is a good shot,” I deadpanned.We both looked at each other and laughed. The tension in my chest eased as I realized our friendship was safe…for today.“Come over for dinner. We need a girls’ night,” K.C. asked while peeling an orange.“No, I can’t.” I was exhausted, and to be honest, I didn’t want to act like everything was okay. “My grandma is coming in today. I’d invite you over, but I’m sure she’ll want to do a lot of catching up. It’s been over a year since I’ve seen her. ““Yeah, right.” At that moment, she got a text. Opening it up, she grinned from ear to ear as if enjoying a private joke.Noticing me watching her, she gave me an apologetic smile and continued eating. Glancing at the windows to the cafeteria, I spied Jared inside, leisurely sitting at his table with his phone in his hand. He smirked at me, and I knew he’d been watching us.And I wiped a fake tear with my middle finger. Again.