I called in sick the next day. I wo

I called in sick the next day. I would have loved the distraction but I would see Ethan, who reminded me of Elisa. If I spoke to him, I knew I would break down. I knew my relationship with Elisa was going to be complicated, but after she slept with me, I assumed that we were serious. I told her not to sleep with me unless that’s how she felt. She didn’t even tell me why.
I couldn’t figure it out. I knew it had something to do with her husband. She was making a new family with me, or just replacing the old one with a new figure. In either scenario, she felt guilty about moving on. I understood her pain but I thought we were past this. I really wished she had figured this out sooner before she ripped out my heart and torched it in flames.
The day went by but I didn’t move. I went to the bathroom once but I didn’t drink or eat. I just fell in and out of sleep over and over again. I knew I had to go to work the next day but I really didn’t want to. I just wanted to lie there.
At some point I got up and moved into the living room. I tried to watch television to get my mind off Elisa. Nothing worked. Even when I watched a commercial of an auto repair shop I somehow thought of her. I thought about calling her but I knew I couldn’t. She didn’t want to talk to me. She wanted nothing to do with me. It was the worst pain of my life. When my parents divorced, I was hurt and confused but it was nothing compared to this. Now I felt like I could die.
The sun set over the horizon and left my apartment dark. I didn’t turn on the lights. The only illumination was the glow from the television, which I still wasn’t watching.
There was a knock on the door but I ignored it. It was probably a school girl selling Christmas cookies or some bullshit. The knock sounded again but I didn’t flinch.
“Please open the door.”
I recognized her voice. I was still for a long moment before I rose from the couch. When I reached the door, I looked through the peephole. Elisa was standing on the other side. After a moment of staring, I opened it.
She stared at me with a saddened expression. I wondered how I looked to her—probably dead. I was still wearing the same clothes from the day before. I took off my jacket and tie but the pants and shirt were the same. They were wrinkled and worn. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say.
“Hey,” she said as she looked at me.
“Why are you here?” I asked. My voice came out harsher than I meant. “Please don’t check on me. You’re just making this harder for me. I don’t want to see you.”
“I’m sorry about everything,” she blurted. “I take it back.”
I stared at her for a moment. “What?”
“I’m sorry.” Tears started to bubble in her eyes. “I don’t want to lose you, Jared. I was just—emotional last night. I’m so sorry. I want you back. Please don’t go.”
I took a deep breath. “You mean it?”
She wiped a tear away. “Of course I do.”
I grabbed her and squeezed her to my chest. “Thank god.” I buried my face in her neck and let my tears leak. I was so happy that she came back to me. I was shaking.
“I’m sorry.”
“Just forget about it, Ellie.”
She rubbed her fingers through my hair then down my back. “That necklace just scared me, Jared. I’m really moving on. Sometimes I get cold feet. I feel like I’m betraying Tom.”
I pulled away and looked at her. “I’m sorry that I rushed you and tried too hard.”
“It wasn’t you, Jared.”
“Since we slept together, I assumed—”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Next time just ask for your space. Don’t break up with me. It almost killed me, Elisa.”
“Please don’t say that.”
“Okay.”
“Jared, I’m so sorry.”
“You’re forgiven.” I kissed her forehead then guided her into my apartment. I moved her to the couch and just held her in my arms. We said nothing for a long time. I didn’t have anything to say. I was still in shock.
“Come home with me,” she whispered.
I looked at her. “You came here by yourself?”
She nodded.
“In the dark?”
“Yeah.”
“Why didn’t you just call me?”
“I didn’t want to do this over the phone.”
“You could have asked me to come over.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t do it again.” My voice came out cold.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “Let me shower and I’ll take you back.”
“You’ll sleep with me, right?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Okay.”
I showered and changed my clothes before we left.
“Does Ethan know?” I asked when we were in the cab.
She nodded.
“What did he say?”
“That I was just getting scared.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m really sorry for hurting you.”
I hate seeing Elisa in pain. She said she was sorry and I believed her. I grabbed her face and directed her gaze on me. “I forgive you, Elisa. Just forget about it. We’re okay.”
She stared at me for a long time. “Okay.”
When we arrived at the house, the kids were sitting in the living room with Ethan and Sadie. Ethan stared at us for a long moment.
Elisa grabbed my hand. “We’re going to go to bed early.”
Ethan nodded but said nothing.
We walked inside the bedroom and I removed my clothes. Since I hadn’t slept all night, I was exhausted. I stripped down to my boxers then lay in bed. Elisa removed her clothes then lay next to me, kissing my chest and neck. I wasn’t in the mood to fool around so I grabbed her and held her to my chest, just holding her tight. The smell of coconut wafted to my nostrils. I felt better having her next to me. I couldn’t live without her and I tried to forget about that short amount of time when I was forced to. She hurt me so deeply but I didn’t want her to know that. I just wanted to forget about that day. It started off so amazing. I planned to make her birthday perfect but it exploded in my face. When I said I forgave her, I meant it, but remnants of the pain were still there. They would be there for a long time.

Hasil (Bahasa Indonesia) 1:

Aku menelepon dalam sakit keesokan harinya. Saya ingin sekali gangguan tapi aku akan melihat Ethan, yang mengingatkan saya pada Elisa. Jika saya berbicara kepadanya, aku tahu aku akan meruntuhkan. Aku tahu hubungan saya dengan Elisa akan menjadi rumit, tapi setelah dia tidur dengan saya, saya berasumsi bahwa kami akan serius. Saya mengatakan kepadanya untuk tidak tidur dengan saya kecuali jika itu adalah bagaimana perasaannya. Dia bahkan tidak memberitahu saya mengapa.Saya tidak tahu itu. Aku tahu itu ada hubungannya dengan suaminya. Dia membuat keluarga baru dengan saya, atau hanya menggantikan yang lama dengan sosok yang baru. Dalam salah satu skenario, dia merasa bersalah tentang pindah. Aku mengerti rasa sakitnya, tapi saya pikir kami melewati ini. Aku benar-benar berharap ia telah mengetahui ini cepat sebelum dia merobek hatiku dan membakar api.Hari berlalu tapi saya tidak bergerak. Aku pergi ke kamar mandi sekali tapi aku tidak minum atau makan. Saya baru saja jatuh dalam dan keluar dari tidur lagi dan lagi. Aku tahu aku harus pergi bekerja keesokan harinya tapi aku benar-benar tidak mau. Aku hanya ingin berada di situ.Di beberapa titik saya mulai berdiri dan pindah ke ruang tamu. Aku mencoba untuk menonton televisi untuk mendapatkan pikiran saya dari Elisa. Tidak ada yang berhasil. Bahkan ketika aku melihat sebuah iklan dari sebuah toko perbaikan otomatis saya entah bagaimana berpikir nya. Aku berpikir tentang meneleponnya tapi aku tahu aku tidak bisa. Dia tidak mau bicara dengan saya. Dia ingin tidak ada hubungannya dengan saya. Itu adalah rasa sakit yang terburuk dalam hidupku. Ketika orangtuaku bercerai, aku terluka dan bingung tapi itu tidak seberapa dibandingkan dengan ini. Sekarang aku merasa seperti aku bisa mati.Matahari terbenam di cakrawala dan meninggalkan apartemen saya gelap. Aku tidak menyalakan lampu. Penerangan hanya adalah cahaya dari televisi, yang masih aku tidak menonton.Ada ketukan di pintu tapi aku mengabaikannya. Itu mungkin seorang gadis sekolah yang menjual Natal cookie atau beberapa omong kosong. Ketukan terdengar lagi tapi saya tidak menyentak."Silakan buka pintu."Aku mengenali suaranya. Aku masih untuk waktu yang lama sebelum aku bangun dari sofa. Ketika saya mencapai pintu, saya melihat melalui lubang. Elisa berdiri di sisi lain. Setelah beberapa saat menatap, aku membukanya.Dia menatapku dengan ekspresi sedih. Aku bertanya-tanya bagaimana aku memandang kepadanya — mungkin mati. Aku masih mengenakan pakaian yang sama dari sehari sebelumnya. Aku melepaskan jaket dan dasi tetapi celana dan kemeja yang sama. Mereka berkerut dan dipakai. Aku tidak mengatakan apa-apa. Aku tidak tahu harus berkata apa."Hei," katanya seperti dia memandang saya."Mengapa Apakah Anda di sini?" Saya bertanya. Suara saya keluar lebih keras daripada yang dimaksud. "Jangan periksa pada saya. Anda hanya membuat ini lebih sulit bagi saya. Saya tidak ingin melihat Anda.""Saya minta maaf tentang segala sesuatu," Dia berkata. "Kataku itu kutarik kembali."Aku menatapnya sejenak. "Apa?""Saya minta maaf." Air mata mulai gelembung di matanya. "Saya tidak ingin kehilangan Anda, Jared. Aku hanya — emosional tadi malam. Aku sangat menyesal. Saya ingin Anda kembali. Tolong jangan pergi."Aku mengambil napas dalam-dalam. "Maksudmu itu?"Dia menyeka air mata pergi. "Tentu saja saya lakukan."Aku menyambar dan diperas dia untuk dadaku. "Terima kasih Tuhan." Aku dimakamkan wajah di lehernya dan membiarkan kebocoran air mata saya. Aku sangat bahagia bahwa dia kembali ke saya. Aku gemetar."Saya minta maaf.""Hanya lupa tentang hal itu, Ellie."Dia menggosok jarinya melalui rambut saya kemudian ke punggungku. "Kalung yang hanya takut saya, Jared. Aku benar-benar bergerak pada. Kadang-kadang saya mendapatkan kaki dingin. Aku merasa seperti aku sedang mengkhianati Tom."Aku menarik diri dan memandangnya. "Aku menyesal bahwa aku terburu-buru Anda dan mencoba terlalu keras.""Itu bukan kau, Jared.""Karena kami tidur bersama-sama, saya berasumsi —""Aku tahu. Saya minta maaf.""Waktu berikutnya hanya meminta untuk ruang Anda. Jangan putus dengan saya. It hampir killed me, Elisa.""Tolong jangan katakan itu.""Oke.""Jared, aku minta maaf.""Anda diampuni." Aku mencium dahinya kemudian dipandu apartemen saya. Aku pindah ke sofa dan hanya memegang di tangan. Kami mengatakan apa-apa untuk waktu yang lama. Aku tidak memiliki sesuatu untuk dikatakan. Aku masih di shock."Datanglah rumah saya," ia berbisik.Aku memandang dirinya. "Anda datang ke sini dengan diri sendiri?"Dia mengangguk."Dalam gelap?""ya.""Mengapa tidak Anda hanya memanggil saya?""Saya tidak ingin melakukan hal ini melalui telepon.""Anda bisa telah meminta saya untuk datang.""Saya minta maaf.""Jangan lakukan itu lagi." Suara saya keluar dingin."Saya minta maaf.""Tidak apa-apa," kataku. "Janganlah saya mandi dan akan membawa Anda kembali."“You’ll sleep with me, right?”“Yeah, of course.”“Okay.”I showered and changed my clothes before we left.“Does Ethan know?” I asked when we were in the cab.She nodded.“What did he say?”“That I was just getting scared.”“Yeah.”“I’m really sorry for hurting you.”I hate seeing Elisa in pain. She said she was sorry and I believed her. I grabbed her face and directed her gaze on me. “I forgive you, Elisa. Just forget about it. We’re okay.”She stared at me for a long time. “Okay.”When we arrived at the house, the kids were sitting in the living room with Ethan and Sadie. Ethan stared at us for a long moment.Elisa grabbed my hand. “We’re going to go to bed early.”Ethan nodded but said nothing.We walked inside the bedroom and I removed my clothes. Since I hadn’t slept all night, I was exhausted. I stripped down to my boxers then lay in bed. Elisa removed her clothes then lay next to me, kissing my chest and neck. I wasn’t in the mood to fool around so I grabbed her and held her to my chest, just holding her tight. The smell of coconut wafted to my nostrils. I felt better having her next to me. I couldn’t live without her and I tried to forget about that short amount of time when I was forced to. She hurt me so deeply but I didn’t want her to know that. I just wanted to forget about that day. It started off so amazing. I planned to make her birthday perfect but it exploded in my face. When I said I forgave her, I meant it, but remnants of the pain were still there. They would be there for a long time.