I put her body wash back and grab m

I put her body wash back and grab mine instead. “Turn around,” I say, waiting until her back is to me before I step into the warm water and sit down on the bathtub’s ledge.
I dunk the washcloth in the water and gently wet her back with it, then her shoulders. Squirting some soap onto the washcloth, I lather it up and start cleaning her.
She makes a satisfied humming sound as I work, closing her eyes as she leans her head forward. When she’s nice and soapy, I set the washcloth aside and use my hands instead, gliding over the soft, creamy skin beneath my fingers. 
“I used this sometimes when we weren’t talking. It made me feel close to you, even though we were anything but.” She leans her head back and looks up at me. “Is that weird?”
Kissing her forehead, I run my hands down her arms. “Do you think it’s weird that I used your shampoo? Because I did. I might’ve even jacked off once or twice in the shower while smelling it and thinking of you.”
Her smile widens. “That last part’s a little weird, but also kinda sweet.”
“Weirdly sweet is what I aim for.” 
Picking up the washcloth, I finish cleaning her back and arms, even getting up in her armpits. She squeals with laughter, splashing water everywhere as she tries to get away from me. My only response is that I need to be thorough. When her back’s all rinsed off, I tell her to stand up and face me. 
My eyes wander over her naked body, glistening with water as it drips down her. She’s put on some muscle since she’s started training with Marcus, and she looks good. Damn good. There’s not a single thing I see that’s less than absolute perfection.
Swallowing, I drop my eyes to the washcloth in my hand. 
I want her. After everything I’ve learned tonight, and I still want her. I always will.
Part of me feels like I shouldn’t, like it’s not appropriate to have these thoughts and urges about someone who’s been through what she has. . . 
I don’t know. I don’t know what to think right now. 
Clearing my throat, I scoot back and tap the sliver of ledge peeking out between my thighs. “Put your foot here.”
I wash her legs one at a time, pausing momentarily when I get to the upper part of her inner thighs. There’s still evidence of our previous activity in small, dried-on patches that haven’t quite come off in the water. Seeing it is like getting shot in the heart. I hate that something so significant happened under what I now consider ugly, tainted circumstances. 
“Sorry,” I say, glancing up at her apologetically before gently scrubbing her clean. 
She threads her fingers in my hair as I make a careful pass between her legs with the washcloth. “It’s not your fault. I told you not to stop,” she says, lazily playing with my hair. “At the time, I honestly didn’t care whether you came in me or not, so long as you didn’t stop.”
Setting her foot back in the water, I continue washing up her front. “You cared before. Do you care now?”
She shrugs. “My period’s supposed to start within the next day or two, so I shouldn’t be able to get pregnant now. I just didn’t want to take any chances, you know?”
“Do you regret it?” I ask, stealing a quick glance at her face while I wash her stomach. I don’t think I can bear to see her expression if she says yes, so I look back to the stretch of skin in front of me. It’s safer.
Savannah’s hands slip from my hair down to under my chin, tilting it up until I meet her eyes. “Not for a second,” she says. “Do you?”
I shrug and let my hands fall to her hips. “I don’t like the way it happened, but I like that it did.”
She slips her fingers back into my hair, making a little sigh of contentment leave me as I pull her close and touch my head to her stomach. “I’ve never let anyone do that before,” she says softly.
I kiss the spot just above her navel. “I’ve never done that to anyone before.”
“Good.” She twirls a lock of my hair around her finger. “I like that we’re each other’s firsts.”
It doesn’t escape my attention that she can’t seem to stop touching me, but I don’t mind, not in the slightest. Maybe she needs the affection as much as I do right now.