Chapter 16 - Is It Hate Or Love? Ab

Chapter 16 - Is It Hate Or Love?

Abdul and Jalaal with an unconscious Jodha arrived at Pandit Raghavendra's ashram (Hermitage). Jalal was carrying Jodha in his arms, her pulses were dropping precariously... she was breathing hard... Jalal could tell she was struggling to breathe. He was losing his patience and sense with each passing second .He was extremely panicked and in nervous condition.

Jalal impatiently yelled at the top his voice "Open the door..." He waited for a few seconds. He couldn't wait any longer for a response so he kicked the door in an alarmed rage since there was no other wisdom left... It was middle of the night; everyone in the Ashram was sleeping peacefully.

Jalal shouted loudly again "HELP... Can someone help me." Due to his roar, almost everyone in the ashram woke up with sudden horror and shock. Main Pandit of the Hermitage almost ran in horrified shock towards the door and stared at Jalal with little resentment, but soon he realized the situation and saw Jodha in his arms, he immediately understood his panicky attitude. Fortunately, Jodha was one of his shishya (student) and he recognized her immediately.

Jalal with worried but pleading tone said "I have no time to explain panditji, I need your help. Do you have any hakim (doctor) in your Hermitage? My wife has drunk poison and she doesn't have much time left." He took a brief pause to see pandit's reaction... when he didn't receive any response from him... as his last resource... he continued in begging tone... "Please help me, I will give you anything you want, you can take my life but please cure my begum." Pandit looked at Jalal with puzzled look. His tears and vulnerable condition was painful to see.

Pandit patiently requested Jalal with impassive tone "Please calm down child, put Jodha on the bed, I will try my best to save her." Jalal got surprised to hear her name but at that moment he had no interest in finding out how he knows her name or have any other conversation.

"Do you know how many hours ago she took poison and when she lost her conscious?" asked the pandit.

Jalal replied "3 hours" while staggering with anxiety, his entire body was shivering out of fear. He forgot for a while that he is a king, he acted like a common man who was trying to save his wife.

Pandit checked her pulse and eyes to see the impact of poison...his face expressions turned into fearful expressions after checking her vital signs.
Jalal could clearly see Jodha was sinking, her breathing was short, she was struggling to gulp air... she looked in terrible pain... he never felt this scared before in his life, he felt like everything had vanished ... his heart beats were so fast that his ears started to ring loudly with that. His hands were shaking and tears were flooding out... he didn't care he was crying in front of common people... he didn't care he looked weak. When it comes to Jodha, as always he forgot his wits... lost his senses... he never imagined, not even in his dreams that Jodha could take such a drastic step.

He saw a small krishna temple in the corner of the room. He instructed Abdul to take his shoes out and he himself also went out of the chamber to take off his shoes.

He came inside and first time in his life sat in front of the temple. He folded his hands and bent down with tears... then lit the diya with divine faith and requested to god in pleading tone "Kanah(God), Please save Jodha... she has immense faith in you... please give me all her past bad karma (sins) and take my life instead of her... I am the one who is your culprit ... Save my Jodha."

Pandit stopped for a while seeing his intense repent in front of god. Abdul was shocked seeing Jalal praying to a hindu god.

After the prayer his mind again got diverted towards Jodha. Her condition was getting worse and worse by every passing second... he silently muttered ... "Ohh.. Jodha I will never forgive you for this crazy and scary stupidity."

He was walking back and forth... sliding his hand in his hair... Constantly blabbering and asking hakim in panic tone "Is she okay??"

Abdul was horrified seeing Jalal's condition... he was surprised and couldn't believe that this is the same Jalal he knows since years... Who always thought before talking... Who always acted as per plan and always stayed in control...but when it comes to Jodha begum he is so weirdly different. He prayed to Kanah... His face... His walk ... His talk... everything is showing enormous impatience and nervousness... He looks extremely panicked.

Jalal started taking to himself while gazing at Jodha Why didn't you kill me instead of punishing me this way... I'd rather die than go through this pain... Feels like my heart is going to burst anytime... Jodha, I can't see you dying... I will be so lonely without you... my life will be empty again... I don't know why but I have so many expectations from you and I get angry at you so easily, probably because you are the only one who has touched my soul... who became part of my heart."

Three hours had passed but there was no sign of improvement in Jodha. Panditji made Jodha throw up the poison with the help of medications but still there was no improvement.

Jalaal was asking Panditji constantly and impatiently about her condition...he could read clearly that Panditji was losing his hopes as the time was passing. Another thirty minutes passed... Jalal started sweating with extreme stress... he was feeling extremely suffocated and terrified. His own words constantly haunted his ears..."Talaq(Divorce)" He felt like killing himself for his cruelty.

Jalal was losing his patience with every passing second. Few times he even lost his manners and screamed at Pandit...scared him saying "If something happens to Jodha I will not spare you" and then few seconds later he himself would apologize for his act. Panditji stopped paying attention to Jalal. He could clearly see he is nervous and worrying for the unknown... Panditji, without any response to Jalal's acts was quietly treating Jodha.
Jodha's condition was getting worse and worse every minute...her breathing became extremely slow, her pulse was almost nil.

Panditji with frightened and troubled expression said in low tone "I don't think I will be able to do anything more...I have given her anti poison medication to reverse the effects of poison but I don't see any effect so far. It seems like she has given up, her inner desire to fight has died. She doesn't have much time left... unfortunately; it is out of my hands to save her now."

Jalal couldn't believe what he heard and saw... his heart started beating faster, his blood boiled up with worry, his anxiety was at extreme... he started feeling short of breathing. He said in stammering tone "No... Jodha...No Jodha... You cannot leave me. I will not let you go." All of a sudden, he lost his balance, he couldn't stand still... his legs felt like jello... his vision started to fade... he was not able to see Jodha clearly, within seconds he collapsed next to her bed on the floor.

Abdul and Panditji both got panicked seeing Jalal's condition... Pandit loudly said "he got panic attack." He instructed Abdul to start rubbing his legs and loosen up his clothes.


Jalal saw in his unconscious dream, he was running frightenedly in a very dark cave, there was no one around, he was screaming madly "JODHA... JODHA" his eyes were shedding unstoppable tears...far away he saw little brightness with his teary faded vision, he saw Jodha was standing close to the light waiting for him to catch up...he ran as fast as he could towards the bright radiance... he could see, she didn't cross towards the light as she was waiting for him between dark and light... he knew she was going away from him to an unseen world. He shouted out loudly "Jodha wait for me" she was fighting and struggling to wait for him ...some unknown force was pulling her to crossover... She heard his loud sound... she turned back with teary eyes and stopped for a second and shouted loudly so Jalal could hear her "Jalal, I don't want to go."

Jalal reached near her, he tried to grab her hands but she was out of his reach... they were able to see each other clearly, Jalal in pleading tone said "Jodha, Please don't leave me alone here, Please don't go."

Jodha with enormous tears said in painful tone "Jalal, I am trying but I can't comeback from here, I have no strength left to come back but I will be right here waiting for you till you come, you have to go back... you have so many responsibilities to fulfill but before you go back I want to tell you something..." after a brief pause she continued... "Jalal, I love you, I love you more than my life. My heart and my soul is only yours and I will wait for you till eternity."

Jalal roared with anger "Jodha, I am tired of you... Why everything has to be decided by you?? If you are leaving then I will crossover with you... you can't leave me in the middle, you have to come back for me, what we share with each other is love ... A deep profound love...what I feel for you...there can be nothing more deeper than that...I cannot live without you... If this is called love then yes I love you... I love you more than anything else in the world...Your powerful love has transformed me, I will leave everything to be with you... nothing matters more compared to your love... I have a heart and that belongs to you only... Jodha please come back...come back for your Jalal... Or I will crossover with you. Please try harder to come back for me... he forwarded his hands and said give me your hand, I will pull you back and if I can't then you have to take me with you."

His words suddenly gave immense energy to Jodha, with all the strength she could gather she forwarded her hands towards him and Jalal swiftly grabbed her hands and pulled her in his embrace.

Jalal felt water on his face and heard Abdul yelling "Shahenshah"

Jalal came back to sense and saw Abdul's worried face. He rea

Hasil (Bahasa Indonesia) 1:

Bab 16 - itu benci atau cinta? Abdul dan Jalal Suyuti dengan Jodha sadar tiba di Pandit dariPetra di ashram (Hermitage). Jalal membawa Jodha dalam pelukannya, kacang-kacangan dia menjatuhkan huyung... dia adalah bernapas keras... Jalal bisa memberitahu dia berjuang untuk bernapas. Ia kehilangan kesabaran dan pengertian dengan kedua-nya.Ia adalah sangat panik dan dalam kondisi gugup.Jalal sabar berteriak di atas suara-Nya "Membuka pintu..." Dia menunggu selama beberapa detik. Dia tidak bisa menunggu lebih lama lagi untuk respon sehingga dia menendang pintu dalam kemarahan khawatir karena tidak ada kebijaksanaan lain kiri... Itu tengah malam; Semua orang di Ashram adalah tidur nyenyak.Jalal berteriak keras lagi "membantu... Seseorang dapat membantu saya." Karena deru nya, hampir semua orang di ashram terbangun dengan tiba-tiba horor dan shock. Pandit utama dari Hermitage hampir berlari ngeri shock kearah pintu dan menatap Jalal dengan sedikit kebencian, tapi segera dia menyadari situasi dan melihat Jodha di tangannya, ia segera mengerti sikap panik. Untungnya, Jodha adalah salah satu shishya nya (mahasiswa) dan dia segera mengenalinya.Jalal dengan nada khawatir tetapi memohon berkata "saya tidak punya waktu untuk menjelaskan panditji, aku butuh bantuan Anda. Apakah Anda memiliki setiap hakim (dokter) di Hermitage Anda? Istri saya telah minum racun dan dia tidak memiliki banyak waktu yang tersisa." Dia mengambil jeda singkat untuk melihat reaksi pandit's... ketika dia tidak menerima respon apapun darinya... sebagai sumber terakhir nya... dia terus memohon nada... "Tolong bantu saya, saya akan memberikan apa yang Anda inginkan, Anda dapat membawa hidup saya tapi Harap menyembuhkan begum saya." Pandit memandang Jalal dengan bingung. Air mata dan kondisi rentan-Nya itu menyakitkan untuk melihat.Pandit sabar diminta Jalal dengan nada pasif "silakan tenang turun anak, mengenakan Jodha tempat tidur, saya akan mencoba yang terbaik untuk menyelamatkannya." Jalal mendapat terkejut mendengar namanya tetapi pada saat itu ia tidak tertarik dalam mencari tahu bagaimana ia tahu namanya atau memiliki percakapan apa pun yang lain."Apakah Anda tahu berapa banyak jam yang lalu dia mengambil racun dan ketika ia kehilangan dia sadar?" tanya pandit.Jalal menjawab "3 jam" sementara mengejutkan dengan kecemasan, tubuhnya seluruh gemetar karena takut. Dia lupa untuk sementara waktu bahwa dia adalah seorang raja, dia bertindak seperti seorang biasa yang berusaha menyelamatkan istrinya.Pandit memeriksa nya denyut nadi dan mata untuk melihat dampak dari racun... ekspresi wajah berubah menjadi ekspresi ketakutan setelah memeriksa tanda-tanda vital nya.Jalal bisa dengan jelas melihat Jodha tenggelam, napasnya pendek, ia berjuang untuk menelan udara... ia tampak kesakitan yang mengerikan... dia tidak pernah merasakan takut ini sebelum dalam hidupnya, ia merasa seperti segala sesuatu telah menghilang... nya detak jantung yang begitu cepat bahwa telinganya mulai berdering keras dengan itu. Tangannya gemetar dan menangis banjir... dia tidak peduli dia menangis di depan umum orang... dia tidak peduli dia tampak lemah. Ketika datang ke Jodha, seperti yang selalu ia lupa kebijaksanaan... kehilangan indera... dia tidak pernah membayangkan, bahkan tidak dalam mimpinya bahwa Jodha bisa mengambil langkah drastis.Dia melihat sebuah kuil Kresna kecil di sudut ruang. Ia memerintahkan Abdul untuk mengambil sandalnya dan ia sendiri juga keluar untuk menanggalkan kasutnya.Dia datang di dalam dan pertama kalinya dalam hidupnya duduk di depan Bait. Ia dilipat tangannya dan membungkuk dengan air mata... kemudian menyalakan diya dengan iman yang ilahi dan meminta kepada Tuhan dalam memohon nada "Kanah(God), silakan Simpan Jodha... dia memiliki besar iman di dalam kamu... silakan beri saya semua nya masa lalu karma buruk (dosa) dan mengambil hidup saya sebagai gantinya... Saya orang yang pelakunya Anda... Simpan Jodha saya."Pandit berhenti sejenak untuk melihat nya intens bertobat di hadapan Jahweh. Abdul terkejut melihat Jalal berdoa kepada Allah hindu.Setelah shalat pikirannya lagi mendapat dialihkan ke arah Jodha. Kondisinya semakin buruk dan buruk dengan setiap melewati kedua... diam-diam ia bergumam... "oh... Jodha saya akan pernah memaafkan Anda untuk ini gila dan menakutkan kebodohan."He was walking back and forth... sliding his hand in his hair... Constantly blabbering and asking hakim in panic tone "Is she okay??" Abdul was horrified seeing Jalal's condition... he was surprised and couldn't believe that this is the same Jalal he knows since years... Who always thought before talking... Who always acted as per plan and always stayed in control...but when it comes to Jodha begum he is so weirdly different. He prayed to Kanah... His face... His walk ... His talk... everything is showing enormous impatience and nervousness... He looks extremely panicked. Jalal started taking to himself while gazing at Jodha Why didn't you kill me instead of punishing me this way... I'd rather die than go through this pain... Feels like my heart is going to burst anytime... Jodha, I can't see you dying... I will be so lonely without you... my life will be empty again... I don't know why but I have so many expectations from you and I get angry at you so easily, probably because you are the only one who has touched my soul... who became part of my heart."Three hours had passed but there was no sign of improvement in Jodha. Panditji made Jodha throw up the poison with the help of medications but still there was no improvement.Jalaal was asking Panditji constantly and impatiently about her condition...he could read clearly that Panditji was losing his hopes as the time was passing. Another thirty minutes passed... Jalal started sweating with extreme stress... he was feeling extremely suffocated and terrified. His own words constantly haunted his ears..."Talaq(Divorce)" He felt like killing himself for his cruelty. Jalal was losing his patience with every passing second. Few times he even lost his manners and screamed at Pandit...scared him saying "If something happens to Jodha I will not spare you" and then few seconds later he himself would apologize for his act. Panditji stopped paying attention to Jalal. He could clearly see he is nervous and worrying for the unknown... Panditji, without any response to Jalal's acts was quietly treating Jodha.Jodha's condition was getting worse and worse every minute...her breathing became extremely slow, her pulse was almost nil.Panditji with frightened and troubled expression said in low tone "I don't think I will be able to do anything more...I have given her anti poison medication to reverse the effects of poison but I don't see any effect so far. It seems like she has given up, her inner desire to fight has died. She doesn't have much time left... unfortunately; it is out of my hands to save her now."Jalal couldn't believe what he heard and saw... his heart started beating faster, his blood boiled up with worry, his anxiety was at extreme... he started feeling short of breathing. He said in stammering tone "No... Jodha...No Jodha... You cannot leave me. I will not let you go." All of a sudden, he lost his balance, he couldn't stand still... his legs felt like jello... his vision started to fade... he was not able to see Jodha clearly, within seconds he collapsed next to her bed on the floor.Abdul and Panditji both got panicked seeing Jalal's condition... Pandit loudly said "he got panic attack." He instructed Abdul to start rubbing his legs and loosen up his clothes.Jalal saw in his unconscious dream, he was running frightenedly in a very dark cave, there was no one around, he was screaming madly "JODHA... JODHA" his eyes were shedding unstoppable tears...far away he saw little brightness with his teary faded vision, he saw Jodha was standing close to the light waiting for him to catch up...he ran as fast as he could towards the bright radiance... he could see, she didn't cross towards the light as she was waiting for him between dark and light... he knew she was going away from him to an unseen world. He shouted out loudly "Jodha wait for me" she was fighting and struggling to wait for him ...some unknown force was pulling her to crossover... She heard his loud sound... she turned back with teary eyes and stopped for a second and shouted loudly so Jalal could hear her "Jalal, I don't want to go."Jalal reached near her, he tried to grab her hands but she was out of his reach... they were able to see each other clearly, Jalal in pleading tone said "Jodha, Please don't leave me alone here, Please don't go."Jodha with enormous tears said in painful tone "Jalal, I am trying but I can't comeback from here, I have no strength left to come back but I will be right here waiting for you till you come, you have to go back... you have so many responsibilities to fulfill but before you go back I want to tell you something..." after a brief pause she continued... "Jalal, I love you, I love you more than my life. My heart and my soul is only yours and I will wait for you till eternity."Jalal roared with anger "Jodha, I am tired of you... Why everything has to be decided by you?? If you are leaving then I will crossover with you... you can't leave me in the middle, you have to come back for me, what we share with each other is love ... A deep profound love...what I feel for you...there can be nothing more deeper than that...I cannot live without you... If this is called love then yes I love you... I love you more than anything else in the world...Your powerful love has transformed me, I will leave everything to be with you... nothing matters more compared to your love... I have a heart and that belongs to you only... Jodha please come back...come back for your Jalal... Or I will crossover with you. Please try harder to come back for me... he forwarded his hands and said give me your hand, I will pull you back and if I can't then you have to take me with you."
His words suddenly gave immense energy to Jodha, with all the strength she could gather she forwarded her hands towards him and Jalal swiftly grabbed her hands and pulled her in his embrace.

Jalal felt water on his face and heard Abdul yelling "Shahenshah"

Jalal came back to sense and saw Abdul's worried face. He rea