After a few days, I realized the pa

After a few days, I realized the pain was never going to go away. I would always suffer without her. I wanted to turn to Sadie but I couldn’t. Now I felt like she was more of a family member to Ethan and Elisa than she was to me. Everything reminded me of Elisa and I hated it. I couldn’t do this anymore. I picked up my phone and pressed the send button.
My mom was enthused like she always was. “Hello, darling! How are you? I haven’t spoken to you in a month.”
“I’m good. You?”
She immediately noticed my despair. “What’s wrong, baby?”
“I’m just getting over a cold.”
“Oh. I thought you sounded different.”
“Yeah.”
“So what’s new with you?”
“Nothing. There’s actually a reason why I called.”
“And what is that?”
“Do you know of any job openings in London?”
“What kind of job openings?” she asked hesitantly.
“Business related.”
She couldn’t contain her excitement. “Does my baby want to move to London?”
“I’m thinking about it.”
“I’ll ask Roger when I see him. He works for a magazine. And if not, I’ll check at work. With your credentials, I’m sure we can find you something.”
“Sounds great.”
“I’ll give you a ring when I found out.”
I sighed. “Mom, you aren’t even British.”
“I live here, don’t I?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Bye, baby. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
We hung up.
I didn’t want to do this but I didn’t see any alternative.
My phone rang again and I grabbed it, hoping it was my mother. It was Layla.
“Hey.”
“Wow. What’s wrong?”
“What do you mean?”
“You sound dead.”
I sighed. “I’ve been better.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I usually told Sadie everything, and if not her, then Alex or my dad. I couldn’t talk to any of them about this. “Actually, yes.”
“How about some coffee? We’ll have girl talk.”
“This isn’t gossip hour.”
“But it is.”
I laughed. “Fifteen minutes?”
“Yep. I’ll see you at Queen’s Coffee.”
“Okay.”
I hung up then grabbed my jacket before I walked out the door. When I arrived at the café, she was already sitting in the corner. I didn’t order anything to drink because I wasn’t thirsty. I hadn’t been craving anything in a while. The past three days blended together like a single blur. I had never been more depressed in my life.
“So, what’s up?” she asked.
“I’m moving to London.”
“What?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s random.”
“Not really.”
“Job offer?”
“More like job seeking.”
“Don’t you work on Wall Street? Did something happen?”
“My job is fine. That’s not why I’m leaving.”
“It’s because of that girl?”
I nodded.
“And why are you moving to another country to get away from her? There are plenty of places within the country you can choose from.”
I sighed. “Nothing will remind me of her there. We’ll be in different time zones. I’ll never see her or anyone that reminds me of her.”
“What about your family? Your friends?”
“I can’t be around them either. My sister is my best friend but she’s engaged to this girl’s brother. I feel like I’m not even related to her anymore. I can’t talk to her about anything. It’s a conflict of interest. And I can’t tell her anything because she’ll tell Elisa.”
“Elisa?”
“That’s her name. I just need to leave. I’m never going to move on unless I do.”
“How long? Forever?”
“A year—maybe two.”
“Well, you might meet someone there and never move back. That’s always a possibility.”
“I really doubt that.”
She was quiet for a moment. “When are you going to leave?”
“As soon as my mom finds me a job.”
“Does she live there?”
“Yeah. I’ll probably stay there for a while.”
“Are you going to tell Elisa or your sister?”
“No. They’ll just try to stop me. I want to be around my sister again but I can’t do that with the way I feel. I want to get over Elisa before I move back. I don’t want to make everything awkward. I want everything to be okay.”
“And the only way you can do that is in another country?”
“Yeah.”
“Damn. You got it bad.”
“You have no idea.”
“She’s so lucky.”
I didn’t say anything.
“Well, I have family in London.”
“Really?”
“Yep. My dad is British.”
“What are the odds?”
She shrugged. “I can come with you and show you around for a few days. You probably need help moving anyway.”
“You would do that?” I asked incredulously.
“Yeah. I have some time off. And we’re friends, right? Since you confided in me, you must not have anyone else.”
I laughed. “It’s not that. I can’t tell anyone close to me because they’ll tell someone else and it will get back to Elisa. I’m afraid if she tries to stop me, she’ll succeed.”
“That makes sense.”
“Layla, I have to make this clear.” She stared at me. “If you’re doing this just as a friend, that’s great, but if you’re hoping for something more, you’re wasting your time. I’m not emotionally or physically available right now. I don’t want to hurt you.”
She smiled. “Thank you for your honesty. I do want something to happen with you and I’m willing to wait until you’re ready.”
“Please don’t wait. I don’t know when I’ll ever be ready to move on.”
“Sleep with me.”
“What?”
“Let’s go back to my apartment and get it over with.”
“That’s romantic.”
She laughed. “Rip off the bandage, Jared.”
“Do you really want me to sleep with you if I’m thinking of someone else the whole time?”
“No matter how long you wait, you’re going to think of Elisa during your first time. It doesn’t matter when it is or who it’s with. And I’m okay with that. It will help you move forward. Trust me.”
I said nothing for a long time. “No—I can’t do that.”
“Just try.”
“No. I slept with Elisa a few days ago. I can’t sleep with someone else so soon. That’s just—unacceptable.”
“You slept with her?”
I nodded. “She climbed on top of me and I was too weak to stop it.”
“You’re not doing anything wrong, Jared.”
“Please drop it,” I whispered.
She leaned back in her chair and looked at me.
“You’re gorgeous, Layla. That’s obvious. And you’re awesome. You’re funny, sweet, caring, easygoing, kinky, everything I would want in a girl. If things were different, I would probably be in love with you already, but that’s not reality. The truth is, I love someone else even though I wish I didn’t. Please don’t take it personally. The only reason I’m not taking advantage of you is because I’m heartbroken and crippled.”
“I know, Jared. It’s okay. You don’t need to explain.”
I nodded.
“But I still want to go with you to London.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. It will be fun.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
My phone rang in my pocket. When I looked at the screen, I saw my mother’s name.
“Hey,” I said.
“I have wonderful news, baby.”
“What is it?”
“Roger has an opening for a business executive for the office. Are you interested?”
“The hours and the pay?”
Weekends off, and you’re off at four. It pays forty five thousand pounds.”
“No. That’s not enough.”
“In the states, that’s roughly ninety thousand.”
“Oh,” I said. “Then I’ll take it.”
“Yay! That’s wonderful. When can you get here?”
“Well, I need to put my two weeks in and move.”
“You can’t wait two weeks. I was thinking a few days at the most.”
“You’re right. I’ll figure it out. When is the interview?”
“Roger said that’s unnecessary with your credentials and experience. My baby went to Harvard.”
I rolled my eyes even though she couldn’t see me.
“So, you’re sure about this?”
I was quiet for a moment. I didn’t see any alternative. I needed to get over Elisa and I couldn’t do that when we lived in the same city. “Yeah.”
“I’m so happy! Let me know when you’re leaving. And you’re staying with me, of course.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Goodbye, honey. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
She hung up then I returned the phone to my pocket.
“Well, it’s official.”
“You’re really doing this?”
“Yep.”
“When?”
“As soon as possible.”
“Well, let’s get packing.”
I felt my heart accelerate. “I guess.”
Layla and I grabbed a pizza and went back to the apartment. We started to pack everything while we drank bottles of beer and ate pizza directly from the box. She was almost like one of the boys. It was a shame that I was in love with Elisa. Layla was someone I could really like. Although if Elisa hadn’t broken my heart, then I wouldn’t have met Layla to begin with. The whole situation sucked. Of all the women in Manhattan, why did I have to fall in love with a widow with two children who still wasn’t able to move on? I have the worst taste in women—seriously. Suzie was just a psychopath and Elisa was a heartbreaker. I had serious issues.
Since I wasn’t taking any of my furniture overseas, I just packed my belongings. I didn’t have a lot of things to take with me. Just my clothes and accessories. I would sell all the extra stuff to the landlord so he could rent out the apartment as already furbished. It was just easier that way.
When we were done, Layla and I watched television on the couch. She snuggled up next to me but I didn’t push her away. I made it clear that I didn’t want anything to happen between us. She understood my reservations.
Layla laid her head on my shoulder then wrapped her arm around my waist. “There’s nothing wrong with cuddling, right?”
“I guess not,” I whispered.
“Good.”
When the movie was over, I looked at Layla. She was asleep. I picked her up then carried her into my bedroom, placing her on my bed. After I shut the door, I lay on the couch and tried to fall asleep. I kept thinking about Elisa. It broke my heart that I wouldn’t see her again for over a year, but my heart broke even more when I thought about seeing her. It was a catch-22. She would probably be hurt that I didn’t say goodbye, but I didn’t have a choice. It had to be done.
I went to work the next morning and walked into my boss’ office. He and I were somewhat close. We spent time outside of work golfing at the country club and playing tennis at the gym.

Hasil (Bahasa Indonesia) 1:

Setelah beberapa hari, saya menyadari rasa sakit tidak pernah akan pergi. Aku akan selalu menderita tanpa dia. Aku ingin beralih ke Sadie tapi aku tidak bisa. Sekarang aku merasa seperti dia adalah lebih dari anggota keluarga untuk Elisa dan Ethan daripada dirinya kepada saya. Segala sesuatu yang mengingatkan saya pada Elisa dan aku benci itu. Saya tidak bisa melakukan ini lagi. Aku mengambil telepon dan menekan tombol kirim.Ibuku diminati seperti ia selalu. "Halo, sayang! Bagaimana keadaanmu? Aku tidak berbicara dengan Anda dalam sebulan.""Aku baik. Anda?"Ia segera melihat keputusasaan. "Apa salah, bayi?""Saya hanya mendapatkan lebih dingin.""Oh. Saya pikir Anda terdengar berbeda.""ya.""Jadi apa baru dengan Anda?""Tidak ada. Ada benar-benar alasan mengapa aku menelepon.""Dan apa itu?""Apakah Anda tahu apa bukaan pekerjaan di London?""Apa jenis pekerjaan bukaan?" Dia bertanya ragu-ragu."Bisnis terkait."Dia tidak bisa lagi menahan kegembiraan nya. "Apakah bayi saya ingin pindah ke London?""Aku sedang berpikir tentang hal itu.""Aku akan meminta Roger ketika aku melihatnya. Dia bekerja untuk sebuah majalah. Dan jika tidak, aku akan memeriksa di tempat kerja. Dengan kredensial Anda, saya yakin kita dapat menemukan sesuatu.""Terdengar hebat.""Aku akan memberimu sebuah cincin ketika saya mengetahui."Saya menghela napas. "Ibu, Anda tidak bahkan Inggris.""Saya tinggal di sini, bukan?"Aku berguling mataku. "Saya akan bicara lagi nanti.""Bye, bayi. Aku cinta kamu.""Aku mencintaimu juga."Kami menutup telepon.Saya tidak ingin melakukannya tetapi saya tidak melihat alternatif.Telepon saya berdering lagi dan aku menyambar, berharap itu adalah ibu saya. Itu Layla."Hey.""Wow. Apa salah?""Apa maksudmu?""Kau terdengar mati."Saya menghela napas. "Aku sudah lebih baik.""Apakah Anda ingin berbicara tentang hal itu?"Saya biasanya mengatakan Sadie segala sesuatu, dan jika tidak, maka Alex atau ayah saya. Aku tidak bisa berbicara dengan mereka tentang hal ini. "Sebenarnya, ya.""Bagaimana tentang beberapa kopi? Kita akan memiliki gadis berbicara.""Ini bukan gosip jam.""Tapi itu."Aku tertawa. "Lima belas menit?""Yap. Aku akan melihat Anda di Queen's kopi.""Oke."Aku menutup telepon kemudian meraih jaket saya sebelum saya berjalan keluar pintu. Ketika saya tiba di kafe, dia sudah duduk di sudut. Aku tidak memesan apa-apa untuk minum karena saya tidak Haus. Saya tidak keinginan apa-apa dalam beberapa saat. Tiga hari dicampur bersama-sama seperti kabur tunggal. Saya belum pernah lebih tertekan dalam hidupku."Jadi, apa itu?" Dia bertanya."Aku pindah ke London.""Apa?""ya.""Itu acak.""Tidak benar-benar.""Pekerjaan menawarkan?""Lebih seperti pekerjaan mencari.""Jangan Anda bekerja di Wall Street? Sesuatu terjadi?""Pekerjaan saya baik-baik saja. Itu adalah tidak mengapa aku meninggalkan.""Ini adalah karena gadis itu?"Aku mengangguk."Dan mengapa Anda pindah ke negara lain untuk mendapatkan dari padanya? Ada banyak tempat di negara Anda dapat memilih dari.Saya menghela napas. "Tidak akan mengingatkan saya tentang dia ada. Kami akan berada di zona waktu yang berbeda. Aku akan pernah melihat dia atau siapapun yang mengingatkanku padanya.""Bagaimana dengan keluarga Anda? Teman-teman Anda?""Aku tidak bisa di sekitar mereka baik. Kakak saya adalah teman saya tapi dia bergerak untuk gadis ini saudara. Aku merasa seperti aku bahkan tidak berhubungan dengan dia lagi. Saya tidak bisa bicara padanya tentang apa pun. Ini adalah konflik kepentingan. "Dan aku tidak bisa mengatakan apa-apa padanya karena dia akan memberitahu Elisa.""Elisa?""Itulah namanya. Aku hanya perlu untuk meninggalkan. Aku tidak pernah akan melanjutkan kecuali saya lakukan.""Berapa lama? Selamanya?""Tahun — mungkin dua.""Yah, Anda mungkin bertemu seseorang di sana dan tidak pernah kembali. Itu adalah selalu kemungkinan.""Saya benar-benar ragu bahwa."Dia adalah tenang sejenak. "Kapan Anda akan pergi?""Segera setelah ibu saya menemukan saya pekerjaan.""Apakah dia hidup ada?""ya. Saya mungkin akan tinggal ada untuk sementara waktu.""Apakah Anda akan memberitahu Elisa atau adik Anda?""No. Mereka akan hanya mencoba untuk menghentikan saya. Saya ingin menjadi sekitar adikku lagi tapi aku tidak bisa melakukan itu dengan perasaanku. Saya ingin mendapatkan lebih dari Elisa sebelum aku pindah kembali. Aku tidak ingin membuat segalanya canggung. Saya ingin semuanya baik-baik saja.""Dan satu-satunya cara Anda dapat melakukan itu adalah di negara lain?""ya.""Sialan. Anda mendapatkannya buruk.""Anda tidak mempunyai ide.""Dia begitu beruntung."Aku tidak mengatakan apa-apa."Yah, aku punya keluarga di London.""Benarkah?""Yap. Ayah saya Inggris.""Apa yang kemungkinan?"Dia mengangkat bahu. "Aku bisa datang dengan Anda dan menunjukkan Anda berkeliling selama beberapa hari. Anda mungkin memerlukan bantuan bergerak pula.""Anda akan melakukan itu?" Aku bertanya tak percaya."ya. Aku punya beberapa waktu. Dan kami teman-teman, kanan? Karena Anda mengaku pada saya, Anda harus tidak memiliki siapapun."Aku tertawa. "Itu bukanlah. Saya tidak tahu siapa pun dengan saya karena mereka akan memberitahu orang lain dan itu akan kembali kepada Elisa. Aku takut jika dia mencoba untuk menghentikan saya, ia akan berhasil.""Itu masuk akal.""Layla, saya harus menjelaskan hal ini." Dia menatapku. "Jika Anda melakukan ini hanya sebagai teman, itu bagus, tapi jika Anda berharap untuk sesuatu yang lebih, Anda sudah membuang-buang waktu Anda. Saya tidak secara emosional atau fisik tersedia sekarang. Aku tidak ingin menyakiti Anda."Dia tersenyum. "Terima kasih atas kejujuran Anda. Saya ingin sesuatu terjadi dengan Anda dan saya bersedia untuk menunggu sampai Anda siap."Tolong jangan menunggu. Aku tidak tahu kapan aku pernah akan siap untuk melanjutkan.""Tidur dengan saya.""Apa?""Mari kita pergi kembali ke apartemen saya dan cepat selesai.""Itulah romantis."Dia tertawa. "Merobek perban, Jared.""Apakah Anda benar-benar ingin saya untuk tidur dengan Anda jika saya berpikir orang lain sepanjang waktu?""Tidak peduli berapa lama Anda menunggu, Anda akan berpikir tentang Elisa selama waktu pertama Anda. Tidak peduli Kapan hal ini atau yang itu dengan. Dan aku baik-baik dengan itu. Ini akan membantu Anda bergerak maju. Percayalah."I said nothing for a long time. “No—I can’t do that.”“Just try.”“No. I slept with Elisa a few days ago. I can’t sleep with someone else so soon. That’s just—unacceptable.”“You slept with her?”I nodded. “She climbed on top of me and I was too weak to stop it.”“You’re not doing anything wrong, Jared.”“Please drop it,” I whispered.She leaned back in her chair and looked at me.“You’re gorgeous, Layla. That’s obvious. And you’re awesome. You’re funny, sweet, caring, easygoing, kinky, everything I would want in a girl. If things were different, I would probably be in love with you already, but that’s not reality. The truth is, I love someone else even though I wish I didn’t. Please don’t take it personally. The only reason I’m not taking advantage of you is because I’m heartbroken and crippled.”“I know, Jared. It’s okay. You don’t need to explain.”I nodded.“But I still want to go with you to London.”“Really?”“Yeah. It will be fun.”“Thanks. I appreciate it.”My phone rang in my pocket. When I looked at the screen, I saw my mother’s name.“Hey,” I said.“I have wonderful news, baby.”“What is it?”“Roger has an opening for a business executive for the office. Are you interested?”“The hours and the pay?”Weekends off, and you’re off at four. It pays forty five thousand pounds.”“No. That’s not enough.”“In the states, that’s roughly ninety thousand.”“Oh,” I said. “Then I’ll take it.”“Yay! That’s wonderful. When can you get here?”“Well, I need to put my two weeks in and move.”“You can’t wait two weeks. I was thinking a few days at the most.”“You’re right. I’ll figure it out. When is the interview?”“Roger said that’s unnecessary with your credentials and experience. My baby went to Harvard.”I rolled my eyes even though she couldn’t see me.“So, you’re sure about this?”I was quiet for a moment. I didn’t see any alternative. I needed to get over Elisa and I couldn’t do that when we lived in the same city. “Yeah.”“I’m so happy! Let me know when you’re leaving. And you’re staying with me, of course.”“Thanks, Mom.”“Goodbye, honey. Love you.”“Love you too.”She hung up then I returned the phone to my pocket.“Well, it’s official.”“You’re really doing this?”“Yep.”“When?”“As soon as possible.”“Well, let’s get packing.”I felt my heart accelerate. “I guess.”Layla and I grabbed a pizza and went back to the apartment. We started to pack everything while we drank bottles of beer and ate pizza directly from the box. She was almost like one of the boys. It was a shame that I was in love with Elisa. Layla was someone I could really like. Although if Elisa hadn’t broken my heart, then I wouldn’t have met Layla to begin with. The whole situation sucked. Of all the women in Manhattan, why did I have to fall in love with a widow with two children who still wasn’t able to move on? I have the worst taste in women—seriously. Suzie was just a psychopath and Elisa was a heartbreaker. I had serious issues.Since I wasn’t taking any of my furniture overseas, I just packed my belongings. I didn’t have a lot of things to take with me. Just my clothes and accessories. I would sell all the extra stuff to the landlord so he could rent out the apartment as already furbished. It was just easier that way.
When we were done, Layla and I watched television on the couch. She snuggled up next to me but I didn’t push her away. I made it clear that I didn’t want anything to happen between us. She understood my reservations.
Layla laid her head on my shoulder then wrapped her arm around my waist. “There’s nothing wrong with cuddling, right?”
“I guess not,” I whispered.
“Good.”
When the movie was over, I looked at Layla. She was asleep. I picked her up then carried her into my bedroom, placing her on my bed. After I shut the door, I lay on the couch and tried to fall asleep. I kept thinking about Elisa. It broke my heart that I wouldn’t see her again for over a year, but my heart broke even more when I thought about seeing her. It was a catch-22. She would probably be hurt that I didn’t say goodbye, but I didn’t have a choice. It had to be done.
I went to work the next morning and walked into my boss’ office. He and I were somewhat close. We spent time outside of work golfing at the country club and playing tennis at the gym.