To say I couldn’t sleep that night

To say I couldn’t sleep that night would be an understatement. I could barely even lie down. Every flat surface seemed to have her imprint, and it didn’t matter that she’d never been to my place. The mere fact that we talked about it—and that I’d planned for her to come here our first night back—made her ghost as good as permanent.
I called her; she didn’t answer. Granted, it was at three in the morning, but I knew she wasn’t sleeping either. Her silence was worsened by the fact that I knew she felt what I felt. I knew she was in just as deep as I was. But she thought she shouldn’t be.
Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.


I got in at six, before I knew she’d be there. I got us both coffee, updated my calendar to save her some time she could use to catch up after being gone. I faxed the contract to Gugliotti, telling him the version he saw in San Diego was final, and whatever Chloe presented would stand. I gave him two days to return the signature pages.
And then, I waited.
At eight, my father came into my office, Henry close behind. Dad scowled often, but rarely at me. Henry never looked pissed.
But both of them looked like they wanted to murder me.
“What did you do?” Dad dropped a piece of paper on my desk.
Ice dripped into my veins. “What is that?”
“It’s Chloe’s resignation letter. She dropped it off with Sara this morning.”
It was a full minute before I could speak. In that time, the only sound was my brother saying, “Ben, dude. What happened?”
“I fucked up,” I said, finally, pressing the heels of my hands to my eyes.
Dad sat down, face composed. He was sitting in the chair that, not a month ago, Chloe had sat in, spread her legs, and touched herself while I tried to keep it together on the phone.
Christ, how did I let it get to this?
“Tell me what happened.” My father’s voice got very quiet: a lull between quakes.
I pulled my tie looser around my neck, suffocating under the weight on my chest.
Chloe left me.
“We’re together. Or, we were.”
Henry shouted, “I knew it!” just as Dad yelled, “You what?”
“Not until San Diego,” I reassured them quickly. “Before San Diego we were just—”
“Fucking?” Henry offered helpfully, and received a sharp look from Dad.
“Yes. We were just . . .” A spike of pain gouged into my chest. Her expression when I leaned in to kiss her. Her full bottom lip caught between my teeth. Her laugh against my mouth. “And as you both know, I was a jerk. She gave back just as good, though,” I assured them. “And in San Diego, it became more. Fuck.” I reached for the letter before pulling my hand back. “She really resigned?”
My father nodded, his face completely unreadable. It was his superpower, all my life: in the moments when he felt the most, he showed the least.
“This is why we have the office fraternization policy, Ben,” he said, softening his tone with my nickname. “I thought you knew better than this.”
“I know.” I scrubbed my hands over my face and then motioned for Henry to sit down, and told them every detail of what happened with my food poisoning, the meeting with Gugliotti, and how Chloe had covered, capably. I made it clear that we had essentially just decided to be together when I ran into Ed at the hotel.
“You are such a stupid son of a bitch,” my brother offered once I’d finished, and what could I do but agree?
After a stern lecture and an assurance that there would be more discussion on all of the ways I fucked up, Dad went to his office to call Chloe to request that she come work for him for the remainder of her internship.
His concern wasn’t just for Ryan Media, though if she chose to stay on after she finished her MBA, she could easily become one of the most important members of our strategic marketing team. It was also that she had less than three months left to find a new internship, learn the ropes, and take on a new project to present to the scholarship board. Given their influence on the business school, their feedback would determine whether Chloe would graduate with honors and receive a personal letter of recommendation from the CEO of JT Miller.
It could make or break the beginning of her career.
Henry and I sat in stony silence for the next hour; he glared at me and I stared out the window. I could almost feel how much he wanted to kick my ass. Dad came back into my office and picked up her resignation letter, folding it into neat thirds. I still hadn’t been able to look at it. She’d typed it, and for the first time since I met her, I wanted nothing more than to see her ridiculously bad penmanship instead of impersonal black-and-white Times New Roman.
“I told her that this company values her and this family loves her and we wanted her to come back.” Dad paused, his eyes turning on me. “She said that was more reason for her to do this on her own.”

Hasil (Bahasa Indonesia) 1:

Untuk mengatakan aku tidak bisa tidur malam itu akan menjadi meremehkan. Aku bisa bahkan nyaris berbaring. Setiap permukaan datar tampaknya memiliki jejak nya, dan tidak peduli bahwa dia belum pernah ke tempat saya. Fakta bahwa kita berbicara tentang hal itu- dan bahwa aku telah merencanakan untuk datang ke sini malam pertama kami kembali — membuat hantu nya sebagus permanen.Aku meneleponnya; Dia tidak menjawab. Memang, pada tiga pagi, tapi aku tahu dia tidak tidur baik. Keheningan diperparah oleh kenyataan bahwa aku tahu dia merasa apa yang saya rasakan. Aku tahu dia adalah hanya sebagai mendalam seperti aku. Tapi dia pikir dia seharusnya.Besok tidak segera datang.Aku di enam, sebelum aku tahu dia akan berada di sana. Aku punya kita kopi kedua, diperbarui kalender saya untuk menyelamatkannya beberapa waktu dia dapat digunakan untuk mengejar ketinggalan setelah pergi. Saya Fax kontrak Gugliotti, menceritakan versi yang dia lihat di San Diego adalah final, dan apa pun yang akan berdiri Chloe disajikan. Aku memberinya dua hari untuk kembali halaman tanda tangan.Dan kemudian, aku menunggu.Pada delapan, ayah saya datang ke kantor saya, Henry dekat di belakang. Ayah merengut sering, tapi jarang pada saya. Henry pernah terlihat kesal.Tapi keduanya tampak seperti mereka ingin membunuh saya."Apa yang menurut Anda lakukan?" Ayah menjatuhkan selembar kertas di meja saya.Es menetes ke pembuluh darahku. "Apa Apakah itu?""Ini adalah surat pengunduran diri Chloe. Dia menjatuhkannya off dengan Sara pagi ini."Itu satu menit sebelum saya bisa berbicara. Pada waktu itu, hanya suara adalah kakak saya berkata, "Ben, dude. Apa yang terjadi?""Saya kacau," kataku, akhirnya, menekan tumit tanganku mataku.Ayah duduk, wajah terdiri. Dia duduk di kursi itu, tidak satu bulan lalu, Chloe telah duduk di, menyebar kakinya, dan menyentuh dirinya sendiri ketika saya mencoba untuk tetap bersama-sama pada telepon.Kristus, bagaimana aku membiarkan hal itu sampai ke ini?"Ceritakan padaku apa yang terjadi." Suara ayah saya mendapat sangat tenang: ada jeda antara gempa.Aku menarik dasi saya longgar di leherku, mencekik di bawah berat di dadaku.Chloe meninggalkan aku."Kami sedang bersama-sama. Atau, kita."Henry berteriak, "Aku tahu itu!" hanya sebagai ayah berteriak, "Anda apa?""Tidak sampai San Diego," Aku yakin mereka dengan cepat. "Sebelum San Diego kita adalah hanya —""Fucking?" Henry ditawarkan membantu, dan menerima pandangan yang tajam dari ayah."Ya. Kami adalah hanya... " Lonjakan rasa sakit mencungkil ke dalam dadaku. Ekspresinya ketika aku membungkuk untuk menciumnya. Bibir bawah penuh tertangkap antara gigi. Dia tertawa terhadap mulutku. "Dan seperti yang Anda berdua tahu, aku brengsek. Dia memberikan kembali hanya sebagai baik, meskipun, "saya yakin mereka. "Dan di San Diego, menjadi lebih. Persetan." Saya mencapai untuk huruf sebelum menarik tanganku kembali. "Dia benar-benar mengundurkan diri?"Ayah saya mengangguk, wajahnya benar tidak terbaca. Itu adalah negara adidaya, sepanjang hidupku: di saat-saat ketika ia merasa paling, dia menunjukkan sedikit."Ini adalah mengapa kita memiliki kantor kebijakan fraternization, Ben," katanya, pelunakan nya nada dengan nama panggilan saya. "Saya pikir Anda tahu lebih baik daripada ini."“I know.” I scrubbed my hands over my face and then motioned for Henry to sit down, and told them every detail of what happened with my food poisoning, the meeting with Gugliotti, and how Chloe had covered, capably. I made it clear that we had essentially just decided to be together when I ran into Ed at the hotel.“You are such a stupid son of a bitch,” my brother offered once I’d finished, and what could I do but agree?After a stern lecture and an assurance that there would be more discussion on all of the ways I fucked up, Dad went to his office to call Chloe to request that she come work for him for the remainder of her internship.His concern wasn’t just for Ryan Media, though if she chose to stay on after she finished her MBA, she could easily become one of the most important members of our strategic marketing team. It was also that she had less than three months left to find a new internship, learn the ropes, and take on a new project to present to the scholarship board. Given their influence on the business school, their feedback would determine whether Chloe would graduate with honors and receive a personal letter of recommendation from the CEO of JT Miller.It could make or break the beginning of her career.Henry and I sat in stony silence for the next hour; he glared at me and I stared out the window. I could almost feel how much he wanted to kick my ass. Dad came back into my office and picked up her resignation letter, folding it into neat thirds. I still hadn’t been able to look at it. She’d typed it, and for the first time since I met her, I wanted nothing more than to see her ridiculously bad penmanship instead of impersonal black-and-white Times New Roman.“I told her that this company values her and this family loves her and we wanted her to come back.” Dad paused, his eyes turning on me. “She said that was more reason for her to do this on her own.”