5ContentsPublisher’s Foreword 10Int

5
Contents
Publisher’s Foreword 10
Introduction 17
1
.
They did not benefit 19
2
.
What are we going to learn? 22
3
.
Why do we search for skills? 24
4
.
Improve yourself 28
5
.
Do not cry over spilt milk 32
6
.
Be unique 35
7
.
Who is the most beloved to you? 39
8
.
Enjoy the skills 48
9
.
With the poor 52
10
.
With women 55
11.
With children... 61
12.
With slaves and servants 66
13.
With adversaries 69
6
14.
With animals 78
15.
A hundred ways to win people’s hearts 82
16.
Purify your intention for the sake of Allah 86
17.
Use the right flavour 91
18
.
Choose the right topics 108
19
.
Be kind at the first meeting 117
2
0
.
People are like the minerals of the earth 124
21.
Mu’awiyah’s hair 139
22.
The keys to hearts 145
23.
Taking one’s psychologicalcondition... 148
24.
Be concerned about others 154
25.
Show them that you want the best... 170
26.
Remember names 176
27.
Be observant and complimentary 179
28
.
Only pass comment on what is good 187
29
.
Do not interfere in matters that... 191
30.
How to deal with a meddlesome person 196
31.
Do not criticise! 199
32.
Do not be dictatorial 207
33.
Hold the stick from the middle 215
7
34.
Make it easy to rectify a fault 225
35.
The other opinion 237
36.
Respond to mistreatment with kindness 244
37.
Convince him of his error so he may.... 254
38
.
Do not criticise me! End of story? 262
39
.
Verify the fault before criticising 276
40.
Whip me gently! 281
41.
Run away from problems! 285
42.
Admit your faults and do not be arrogant... 294
43.
The keys to mistakes... 300
44.
Untie the bundle 309
45.
Self torture 316
46.
Problems with no solutions 323
47.
Do not kill yourself by grief 325
48
.
Be content with what Allah has apportioned... 329
49
.
Be a mountain 337
50.
Do not curse him because he drinks alcohol! 342
51.
If what you desire does not happen,.... 344
52.
We can disagree and still be brothers! 347
53.
Gentleness only beautifies 352
8
54.
Between the living and the dead 363
55.
Make your tongue sweet 377
56.
Be concise and do not argue 385
57.
Do not care about what people say 389
58
.
Smile and keep smiling 392
59
.
The red lines 396
60.
Keeping a secret 401
61.
Fulfilling people’s needs 409
62.
Do not burden yourself with what you.... 413
63.
Who kicked the cat? 419
64.
Humbleness 428
65.
To worship in secret 431
66.
Take them out of the ditch 439
67.
Looking after one’s appearance 442
68
.
Honesty 446
69
.
Bravery 450
70.
Steadiness on principles 453
71.
Temptations 458
72.
Forgiving others 462
73.
Generosity 472
9
74.
Restraining oneself from harming others 482
75.
Do not gain enemies 487
76.
The tongue is king 489
77.
Control your tongue 497
78
.
The key 502
79
.
The emotional bank balance 510
80.
The magician 515
81.
Help by your speech if you cannot do so... 524
82.
Supplications 534
83.
Patching up 549
84.
Look with both eyes 554
85.
The art of listening 559
86.
The art of discussion 565
87.
Block the escape routes of the detractors 572
88
.
Wait and do not interrupt! 576
89
.
Charity before consultation 580
90.
It is not important to always be successful 589
91.
Be brave and start from now! 591
10
Publisher’s Foreword
It so happened that in the year 2007, I was in the city of the
Prophet

. It has been my old habit that whenever I travel to
a city, I always make it a point to visit all its bookstores. When
it comes to books, the city of Madinah is in its own league. In
the bookstores of Madinah, one is bound to come across all
the newly published literature
−
and shopping for books is, of
course, my favourite pastime. The staff who work at most of the
bookstores near the Prophet’s Mosque know me on a personal
basis, as a large number of Darussalam’s publications are available
at these stores.
One day, when I was visiting one of these bookstores, I looked
at the shelves and noticed a book called, ‘
Enjoy Your Life
’. Just as
I was about to pick it up, Abu ‘Abdullah greeted me, hugged me,
and asked, ‘When did you arrive? How long are you here for?’
Meanwhile, I reached out for the book... Abu ‘Abdullah, who is
originally from Yemen, has been involved in the book market for
a long time. He is one of the many Darussalam distributors. He
noticed the book in my hand and said, ‘This book is excellent.
If you were to publish its translation, it would be considered a
valuable addition to the international Islamic book collection.’
He continued as he held my hand, ‘This book has made a record
11
number of sales.’
Some time later, in my hotel room, I began reading the book.
As I continued reading, I became more and more captivated by
it. There is no doubt that the subject of the book itself was the
thing that most interested me.
Solutions to all the problems of the Muslim nation are present
in the life of Allah’s Messenger

. His life is certainly an example
for us to follow and a model for us to refer to at all times. No
matter what problem arises in our lives, if we look to the Proph
-
et’s Seerah for a solution, we will surely find it.What makes this
book outstanding is that it deals with our social problems in light
of the Prophetic lifestyle. The work is filled with incidents from
the Seerah, Islamic history, and the author’s own experiences.
By reading this book and implementing it practically, all of us can
make our lives more enjoyable and more tranquil.
This book includes remedies for despondency and numer
-
ous tips on how to keep worries and stress at bay. The author of
this book, Dr. Muhammad bin ‘Abd ar-Rahman al-‘Arifi is a well
known scholar and lecturer from Saudi Arabia. His audiences are
left mesmerised during his lectures as he has such a unique way
of speaking that even us, the non-Arabs, are enchanted by his
words. A visit to any of the Islamic audiocassette shops in this
land gives proof to the popularity of this talented lecturer, and a
single hearing of any of his lectures guarantees addiction!
When I returned to Riyadh from Madinah, I requested one of
our Egyptian Darussalam associates, Muhammad Shakir Qadhi,
to establish contact with Dr. Al-‘Arifi and to request permission
12
for the translation of his book. After a few days, we managed to
establish contact with Dr. Al-‘Arifi. Fortunately, for us, he was
already familiar with Darussalam. As he said himself, most of the
books he takes on his international travels are of Darussalam
publications. It is always easier to work towards an agreement
if there is preceding familiarity. We invited Dr. Al-‘Arifi over to
Darussalam’s headquarters for a visit, and he gladly accepted the
invitation. Thus, we had the pleasure of his company.
I found him to be just as handsome and immaculate as are
his works and lectures. He has a unique and charming charac
-
ter and a very humble personality. I know from my experience
with people in the Islamic world, that the more famous and well
respected a person becomes, the more modest and noble is his
behaviour. Dr. Al-‘Arifi signed the contract with Darussalam and
then excused himself, saying he was in a hurry and that he would
return soon to discuss further details.
After a couple of weeks or so, as I was travelling once again to
Madinah, I coincidently noticed Dr. Al-‘Arifi seated on the same
plane. As the seat besides him was empty, we had the opportu
-
nity to sit together and familiarise ourselves with each other
even more. We spoke at length and felt closer to one another. A
few days later, he returned to Darussalam and gave us a number
of new suggestions. We introduced him to some of our projects,
and it was then decided that Darussalam would translate his
books into various languages.
He explained how his book, ‘Enjoy Your Life’ is in reality a
summary of his entire life experience. He spent a considerable
amount of time authoring this book. There is no doubt that he