but I feel Declan’s words chipping

but I feel Declan’s words chipping away at the cold, harsh exterior, leaving me panicked.
I’m afraid Declan Whitmore could make the whole thing come tumbling down if I’m not careful.
“Fine,” I say, setting my fork down. “But if you’re not gonna take my money, then at least let me do something else for you.”
He cocks a brow, his eyes flicking down my body.
I fist my napkin and throw it at him. “No, you perv! I meant like cooking and cleaning.”
Clearing his throat, he bends down and picks my napkin off the floor. “Good, ’cause I wouldn’t have taken you up on that offer either.”
My eyebrows shoot up in an incredulous expression. “Oh, really? Because your hard-on fifteen minutes ago says otherwise.”
Declan tosses my napkin onto his empty plate and stands. “Trust me, when we go down that path—and something tells me we will go down that path—it’s not gonna be out of some obligation you feel towards me.” He puts one hand on the table and the other on the back of my chair, leaning down to murmur in my ear, “It’ll be because you can’t go another second without having me inside you. And when that second comes, I promise you, Kitten, I will make you beg for it.”
His breath brushes the shell of my ear, and I swallow, closing my eyes to keep them from rolling back into my head. It should be illegal for words that sinful to come out of someone so hot. It’s not fair to my central nervous system.
While I’m trying to think of a witty comeback, his phone rings, and I use the opportunity to slip away while I still have functional brain cells.
 
The water pouring out of the showerhead is ice cold. I hadn’t meant to stay in here so long, but this is the first honest-to-God shower I’ve had in days. I might’ve overindulged a little bit. . .
I turn off the water and slide the shower curtain aside as someone knocks twice in quick succession. A deep voice says, “Hide your schlong, bro, I’m comin’ in.”
I have just enough time to grab the shower curtain and yank it over me before the door swings open and I lock eyes with a very surprised stranger. 
“You’re not Declan,” he says dumbly.
Water drips down me, and I shiver from the cold air he’s letting in. “No shit.”
Swallowing, his eyes roam down. “You know that’s see-through, right?”
I look down and see my tits mashed against the clear plastic, as well as the top mound of my lady bits. Everyone within a five mile radius probably hears my shriek for him to GTFO.
My heart is still racing as he backs out and closes the door.
Who the hell is that?
I almost slip on the tile as I scurry over to the door, dripping water everywhere in my haste to lock the damn thing. Declan’s been gone for hours now, so I hadn’t bothered with it. 
Grabbing my towel off the rack, I wrap it around me. Muted voices drift down the hallway from the living room. Please, God, tell me Declan’s back, because I so do not want to be alone with some strange guy who walked in on me naked.
I unlock the door and crack it open, seeing Declan and the guy leaving through the open front door. They’re deep in conversation about something I can’t quite hear. 
And they’re clearly not leaving, leaving, otherwise they would’ve closed the door behind them, so I hurry across the hallway to Declan’s room before they come back. Shivering in the cold air, I dig through my laundry basket of clean clothes and get dressed as fast as I can. 
Is that his roommate, or something? Declan hadn’t mentioned having one, but who else would just walk into someone’s apartment like that?
I soak up as much excess water from my hair as I can, then tie it into a low ponytail. I’d check my reflection in the mirror above the dresser, but I already know what I’d see: pink cheeks and a flustered face. My heart’s in my throat as I walk down the hallway, hearing their conversation drift out from the kitchen. 
“Since when do you want to hang out with me?” Declan asks. 
There’s a beat of silence before a deep voice answers, “Since our dad’s dying and our family’s gone to shit.”
His words make me pause just out of their sight. My chest constricts at what I now realize are his brother’s words. I frown at the unwelcome feeling welling inside me at his plight. Since when do I care what happens to other people? I’m a cold, heartless bitch, remember?
Except when it comes to Declan. Then you’re a fiery, passionate bitch.
My scowl deepens at the little nagging voice inside me. She’s not exactly wrong. He gets to me like no one else ever has. Whether that’s a good thing or not, I still haven’t decided. 
Declan and his brother come into view as I take a few more steps. “I can’t right now, but maybe—”
Declan’s words die as he locks eyes with me. “Uh. . .” He looks back at his brother. For the first time since entering the room, I do too, and see him staring back at me with a knowing smile. 
I immediately look away, feeling my cheeks go from pink to a shade of red commonly reserved for fire trucks. 
Good looks apparently run in Declan’s family, but they don’t look that much alike. At least, I don’t think they do. I don’t know. It was kinda hard to tell from the .004 seconds I was able to keep eye contact with him before it felt like I’d spontaneously combust from embarrassment. Hell, they could be twins for all I know.
Movement catches my eye and I look at Declan. He’s shaking his head, almost like he’s trying to clear it. “Sorry. Savannah, this is—”
“Blake. Hi, nice to meet you.” His voice is all sexy, warm, and deep—a definite bedroom voice. Despite my best efforts, I glance up at him again, seeing a panty-dropping grin to match. “Sorry about walking in on you like that. If it makes you feel better, I’ll give you a peek at my junk to even the score.” He winks at me. “I promise you won’t be disappointed.”
Is death by humiliation a real thing? Because it seems absolutely possible in this moment. 
My face scrunches up into something that can best be described as a grimace. “Please stop talking,” I say, holding up my hand.
“You’re not embarrassed, are you? ’Cause, baby, let me tell you, you’ve got nothing to be—”
His words are cut off by Declan’s fist slamming into his shoulder. Blake glares at him as he rubs it, while Declan looks at him incredulously and says, “What the hell, man? Did you have a big bowl of stupid for breakfast?”
I’m thankful for Declan’s interjection, but still beyond mortified. I hope to God that Blake doesn’t live here, because I won’t be able to face him every day, knowing he’s probably picturing me naked every time I see him. “Declan, can I talk to you for a sec?” I turn and head back down the hall to his room. 
A few seconds later, he’s closing the door behind him as I cross my arms. “I’m sorry about my brother,” he says. “He’s a special kind of stupid.”
“Does he live here?”
“Nah, he just stopped by to talk to me.”
I’m pacing the foot of his bed, biting my thumbnail, when he asks, “Are you okay?”
Stopping, I face him. What a stupid question. “No, I’m not okay! Your dipshit brother walked in on me in the shower, Declan. He saw me naked. I can’t—” I shake my head, trying to swallow the knot forming in my throat. My thoughts are spiraling out of control. “I can’t stay here if people are gonna be coming into your apartment like that. I mean, what if he—” 
My arms tighten around myself as I try to stave off the shiver building within me. I’m very well aware that just because Blake didn’t try to force himself on me, it doesn’t mean it couldn’t have happened. I don’t know the kind of company Declan keeps and I sure as shit can’t vouch for Blake’s integrity. 
My eyes burn as I stare at Declan’s chest, unable to meet his gaze. I feel violated and stupid all at the same time, because I saw the dumbstruck look on Blake’s face when he walked in on me. I know it was an accident. But at the same time, I’m pissed, because Blake got something I didn’t want to give. It’s drudging up painful things I want to stay buried and dead.
I shove the memories back down that are trying to rise up with the bile. I’m not that naïve girl anymore. I’m smarter now. Stronger. 
Dropping my gaze to the floor, I wipe my nose. Tears are welling in my eyes, but I refuse to blink and spill them. 
“Shit.” Declan sighs. “Savannah, I’m sorry. This is all my fault. I didn’t lock the door after I left this morning. I figured you were here, and I didn’t think . . . I didn’t think. I’m sorry. It’ll never happen again. You have my word.”
“He doesn’t have a key?” My jaw clenches as I silently will these damn tears to recede back into my tear ducts, even though I know that’s not how biology works. Faucets only flow one way.
“No one has a key but me.” 
He reaches up and brushes his knuckles along my cheek. I blink in surprise and look up at him, right as two fat tears slip down my face. His eyes blaze down at me as the pad of his thumb swipes away a tear. 
His gaze flits to my mouth, which I think has parted in shock. He blinks and pulls his hand away as he makes his “concentration” face.
“Sorry. . .” Declan squeezes the back of his neck, looking as confused as I feel. “You have no idea how much I’ve been dying to touch you, and you just looked so sad, and I—”
He takes a breath for the first time since blurting all that out and looks at me. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
The honesty of his words is completely disarming and the look on his face right now . . . it kills me. I’ve never seen someone look so sincere and I have no idea how to deal with such emotional honesty. It rips away my bitchy exterior and squashes any outrage I’d normally have that he just up and touched me without my permission. I find myself wanting to tell him it’s okay, that I liked his touch and I desperately want him to touch me again.
I won’t, of course. Declan might be comfortable with saying what’s on his mind, but I’m not.

Hasil (Bahasa Indonesia) 1:

tapi aku merasa kata-kata Declan di chipping pergi pada eksterior dingin, keras, meninggalkan aku panik.Aku takut Declan Whitmore bisa membuat semuanya datang runtuh jika saya tidak berhati-hati."Baik," kataku, pengaturan garpu saya. "Tetapi jika Anda tidak akan mengambil uang saya, maka setidaknya biarkan aku melakukan sesuatu yang lain untuk Anda."Dia ayam brow, matanya menjentikkan bawah tubuh saya.Aku tinju serbet saya dan melempar itu kepadanya. "Tidak, Anda perv! Aku berarti seperti memasak dan membersih."Kliring tenggorokan, ia membungkuk dan mengambil serbet saya dari lantai. "Baik, karena saya tidak akan telah mengambil Anda itu menawarkan baik."Alis saya menembak dalam ungkapan yang percaya. "Oh, benar-benar? Karena Anda hard-on lima belas menit lalu mengatakan sebaliknya."Declan berbaring saya serbet ke piring kosong dan berdiri. "Percayalah, ketika kita pergi menyusuri jalan setapak itu- dan sesuatu mengatakan padaku bahwa kita akan pergi menyusuri jalan setapak itu-itu tidak akan keluar dari beberapa kewajiban Anda merasa ke arah saya." Dia menempatkan satu tangan di atas meja dan yang lain di belakang kursi saya, condong ke gumaman di telingaku, "itu akan menjadi karena Anda tidak bisa lain kedua tanpa saya di dalam diri Anda. "Dan ketika kedua itu datang, aku berjanji, anak kucing, aku akan membuat Anda memohon untuk itu."Napas sikat shell telingaku, dan aku menelan, memejamkan mata untuk menjaga mereka dari bergulir kembali ke kepalaku. Harus ilegal bagi kata-kata yang berdosa yang akan datang dari seseorang yang begitu panas. Hal ini tidak adil untuk saya sistem saraf pusat.Sementara aku berusaha untuk memikirkan comeback yang cerdas, nya telepon berdering, dan saya menggunakan kesempatan untuk menyelinap pergi sementara aku masih memiliki sel-sel fungsional otak. Air yang mengalir dari pancuran adalah es dingin. Aku tidak bermaksud untuk tinggal di sini begitu lama, tapi ini adalah kamar mandi jujur Allah pertama aku sudah dalam hari. Aku mungkin telah overindulged sedikit...Aku mematikan air dan geser tirai mandi samping sebagai seseorang mengetuk dua kali berturut-turut cepat. Dalam sebuah suara mengatakan, "Sembunyikan schlong Anda, bro, saya 'm comin'."Aku punya cukup waktu untuk ambil tirai mandi dan menarik atas saya sebelum pintu ayunan terbuka dan aku mengunci mata dengan orang asing sangat terkejut. "Kau tidak Declan," katanya dumbly.Air menetes ke bawah saya, dan saya menggigil dari udara dingin ia adalah membiarkan in. "Tidak ada kotoran."Menelan, matanya berkeliaran ke bawah. "Anda tahu bahwa tembus, kan?"Saya melihat ke bawah dan melihat payudaraku tumbuk terhadap plastik jelas, serta atas gundukan bit wanita saya. Semua orang dalam radius lima mil mungkin mendengar jeritan saya untuk dia pergi.Hati saya masih balap punggung dan menutup pintu.Siapa sih yang itu?Saya hampir terpeleset di ubin sebagai aku berlari ke ke pintu, menetes air di mana-mana dalam tergesa-gesa untuk mengunci sialan itu. Declan yang telah pergi selama berjam-jam sekarang, jadi aku tidak repot-repot dengan itu. Aku menyambar saya handuk dari rak, membungkus di sekitar saya. Suara teredam melayang menyusuri lorong dari ruang tamu. Tolong, Allah, katakan padaku Declan's kembali, karena saya jadi tidak ingin sendirian dengan orang aneh yang berjalan di dalam aku telanjang.I unlock the door and crack it open, seeing Declan and the guy leaving through the open front door. They’re deep in conversation about something I can’t quite hear. And they’re clearly not leaving, leaving, otherwise they would’ve closed the door behind them, so I hurry across the hallway to Declan’s room before they come back. Shivering in the cold air, I dig through my laundry basket of clean clothes and get dressed as fast as I can. Is that his roommate, or something? Declan hadn’t mentioned having one, but who else would just walk into someone’s apartment like that?I soak up as much excess water from my hair as I can, then tie it into a low ponytail. I’d check my reflection in the mirror above the dresser, but I already know what I’d see: pink cheeks and a flustered face. My heart’s in my throat as I walk down the hallway, hearing their conversation drift out from the kitchen. “Since when do you want to hang out with me?” Declan asks. There’s a beat of silence before a deep voice answers, “Since our dad’s dying and our family’s gone to shit.”His words make me pause just out of their sight. My chest constricts at what I now realize are his brother’s words. I frown at the unwelcome feeling welling inside me at his plight. Since when do I care what happens to other people? I’m a cold, heartless bitch, remember?Except when it comes to Declan. Then you’re a fiery, passionate bitch.My scowl deepens at the little nagging voice inside me. She’s not exactly wrong. He gets to me like no one else ever has. Whether that’s a good thing or not, I still haven’t decided. Declan and his brother come into view as I take a few more steps. “I can’t right now, but maybe—”Declan’s words die as he locks eyes with me. “Uh. . .” He looks back at his brother. For the first time since entering the room, I do too, and see him staring back at me with a knowing smile. I immediately look away, feeling my cheeks go from pink to a shade of red commonly reserved for fire trucks. Good looks apparently run in Declan’s family, but they don’t look that much alike. At least, I don’t think they do. I don’t know. It was kinda hard to tell from the .004 seconds I was able to keep eye contact with him before it felt like I’d spontaneously combust from embarrassment. Hell, they could be twins for all I know.Movement catches my eye and I look at Declan. He’s shaking his head, almost like he’s trying to clear it. “Sorry. Savannah, this is—”“Blake. Hi, nice to meet you.” His voice is all sexy, warm, and deep—a definite bedroom voice. Despite my best efforts, I glance up at him again, seeing a panty-dropping grin to match. “Sorry about walking in on you like that. If it makes you feel better, I’ll give you a peek at my junk to even the score.” He winks at me. “I promise you won’t be disappointed.”Is death by humiliation a real thing? Because it seems absolutely possible in this moment. My face scrunches up into something that can best be described as a grimace. “Please stop talking,” I say, holding up my hand.“You’re not embarrassed, are you? ’Cause, baby, let me tell you, you’ve got nothing to be—”His words are cut off by Declan’s fist slamming into his shoulder. Blake glares at him as he rubs it, while Declan looks at him incredulously and says, “What the hell, man? Did you have a big bowl of stupid for breakfast?”I’m thankful for Declan’s interjection, but still beyond mortified. I hope to God that Blake doesn’t live here, because I won’t be able to face him every day, knowing he’s probably picturing me naked every time I see him. “Declan, can I talk to you for a sec?” I turn and head back down the hall to his room. A few seconds later, he’s closing the door behind him as I cross my arms. “I’m sorry about my brother,” he says. “He’s a special kind of stupid.”“Does he live here?”“Nah, he just stopped by to talk to me.”I’m pacing the foot of his bed, biting my thumbnail, when he asks, “Are you okay?”Stopping, I face him. What a stupid question. “No, I’m not okay! Your dipshit brother walked in on me in the shower, Declan. He saw me naked. I can’t—” I shake my head, trying to swallow the knot forming in my throat. My thoughts are spiraling out of control. “I can’t stay here if people are gonna be coming into your apartment like that. I mean, what if he—” My arms tighten around myself as I try to stave off the shiver building within me. I’m very well aware that just because Blake didn’t try to force himself on me, it doesn’t mean it couldn’t have happened. I don’t know the kind of company Declan keeps and I sure as shit can’t vouch for Blake’s integrity. My eyes burn as I stare at Declan’s chest, unable to meet his gaze. I feel violated and stupid all at the same time, because I saw the dumbstruck look on Blake’s face when he walked in on me. I know it was an accident. But at the same time, I’m pissed, because Blake got something I didn’t want to give. It’s drudging up painful things I want to stay buried and dead.I shove the memories back down that are trying to rise up with the bile. I’m not that naïve girl anymore. I’m smarter now. Stronger. Dropping my gaze to the floor, I wipe my nose. Tears are welling in my eyes, but I refuse to blink and spill them. “Shit.” Declan sighs. “Savannah, I’m sorry. This is all my fault. I didn’t lock the door after I left this morning. I figured you were here, and I didn’t think . . . I didn’t think. I’m sorry. It’ll never happen again. You have my word.”“He doesn’t have a key?” My jaw clenches as I silently will these damn tears to recede back into my tear ducts, even though I know that’s not how biology works. Faucets only flow one way.“No one has a key but me.” He reaches up and brushes his knuckles along my cheek. I blink in surprise and look up at him, right as two fat tears slip down my face. His eyes blaze down at me as the pad of his thumb swipes away a tear. His gaze flits to my mouth, which I think has parted in shock. He blinks and pulls his hand away as he makes his “concentration” face.“Sorry. . .” Declan squeezes the back of his neck, looking as confused as I feel. “You have no idea how much I’ve been dying to touch you, and you just looked so sad, and I—”He takes a breath for the first time since blurting all that out and looks at me. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”The honesty of his words is completely disarming and the look on his face right now . . . it kills me. I’ve never seen someone look so sincere and I have no idea how to deal with such emotional honesty. It rips away my bitchy exterior and squashes any outrage I’d normally have that he just up and touched me without my permission. I find myself wanting to tell him it’s okay, that I liked his touch and I desperately want him to touch me again.I won’t, of course. Declan might be comfortable with saying what’s on his mind, but I’m not.