The thing is, I am in love; I alway

The thing is, I am in love; I always am in love. With photographs, sceneries, events, music, art, literature, poetry, actors and actresses, clothes, bags, heels, anime and cartoons, weather, colours, novels, fiction, tv series, movies, sports, funny stuffs, books, sleeping, food, gadgets, moments. I think I am so full of love that I cannot just give it to one and only. I mean, why love something - or in this matter, a particular someone - when you can love everything?" Jessica just simply flips another page of a textbook she's been studying and shrugs at the end of her statement. She made the idea very appealing and easy to understand but to Tiffany, it confused her greatly than she already is. The younger of the two tilted her head and frowns. "Jessi, I just asked you if you're finally in love. With that boyfriend of yours. Kris, right?" "Were you even listening? I just already answered you." "So, you don't?" "I didn't say I don't." Jessica, now looking directly at Tiffany says then continues, "It's just- this is so messed up." "I think it's normal. This is your first relationship after all." "It's not the relationship, Tiff. You know it's me. Messy." In the course of their friendship, this isn't the first time they had ever talked about how Jessica is.  A sudden ringing of phone could be heard and Jessica broke her eye contact with Tiffany, fishing out her gadget out of her handbag to read a message. She paid no heed to the students glaring at them mouthing about keeping silent and disobeying rules. As if they weren't speaking too loud for a library the whole time. They actually follow the university's rules and regulations pretty well but when they are in this section, they can be rebellious at times. Tiffany chuckles at the thought.  "Gotta go. He wants me to watch his practice." Tiffany nods and swiftly takes out Jessica's carton of milk without being caught by the nearby librarian. But before Jessica can be out of sight, she asks the girl. "Can you tell me why him of all people?" Jessica tries hard to think a reply but when there was nothing she could think of, she just said, "Let me think about it then I'll text it to you later. Bye." Tiffany released Jessica's wrist and mirrored the smile the brunette gave her. She sits there alone, reading a John Keats poem and by the time she finishes the drink, she receives a message saying: He shoots well. She hysterically laughs and the librarian in charge didn't hesitate to give her a piece of his mind. - "How long are we friends?" A Jessica resting her head on Tiffany's stomach had asked. "Since we're in diapers." "That long?" "Not actually. I remember putting an icing cake in your whole face because I didn't like how you stared at me. We were... three or four?" Jessica jolted up and the magazine Tiffany's scanning is suddenly out of her face and taken by Jessica only to be discarded at the side of the bed. "That's a news. I never new that that was the reason. I thought you were just being a back then." "You were the ." "Hey!" Tiffany laughs and reaches for the magazine and began reading again. Jessica pouts and tugs at the loophole of her shorts.  "What?" Tiffany asked. "You're supposed to be comforting me, remember?" "But you don't even need it. You're perfectly fine." Jessica slumps back to bed and sighs, "You're right. The heck is this." "How about we concentrate on acing the final exams on this last semester of second year?" "How about we concentrate on second season of Heroes first?" "I like that more." - "So," a cough. "how are you, Sica?" Jessica made a slurping sound out of the ramen she's devouring courtesy of Taeyeon. The other girl just stares at her, not minding her own food.  "Fine, fine." There wasn't genuine how she said it but Taeyeon is so damn sure she meant it. Besides, it wasn't like she ever had an impact to Jessica.  "Me and Tiff are gonna go shopping later. Wanna come?" Ah, Tiffany. Taeyeon smiles this bitter smile. Her relationship with Jessica lasted for just about half a year but there's no denying Jessica got a strong hold of her; even until now, after four months of their mutual parting. Taeyeon reasoned the lack of time since she's a year ahead of the brunette and it means she'd be busier and busiest as time goes by. But deep down, Taeyeon knows what's her true reason - a reason she'd been shoving away and burying inside her. It can't be helped, she thinks.  Though Tiffany doesn't have anything to do with it, it was her who Taeyeon initially put the blame on. But Tiffany did nothing but being polite and supportive about them. (She's even the one pushing Jessica to ask Taeyeon out in simple dates or strolls at the parks or movie nights.) They got this something connecting the both of them and she cannot interfere with that. She had just been in Jessica's life for about a year whereas Tiffany's been there since the beginning. So Taeyeon blames herself instead for not being able to make Jessica fall in love as the same as she has fallen for the girl. "Wanna come?" Jessica inquires again with her slightly rounded eyes and thin lips, looking at Taeyeon this time. Taeyeon smiles, "No." "Taeng, I still want us to be friends." Taeyeon caught that up. "Tiffany's idea?" "Uh, yes... No, no." Jessica slides the bowl Taeyeon left untouched and ate her heart out as Taeyeon's quirky laughter rings in her ears. - It's 5 o'clock in the morning. Five freaking o'clock, as Tiffany dubbed, and they're in front of the university's building. Jessica just have to drag her all the way here to what? Look at the building's exterior? Not to mention they will be receiving their college diplomas and degrees in a few while. She glares at the hyper Jessica beside her. "We need to get to the rooftop." "You're kidding." "Oh no darling, I am not." And so, she's dragged again by the hand as Jessica expertly gets inside through a passage Tiffany didn't know existed until now. They reached it, finally, after some exercise with the stairs. Feeling a little tired and sweaty, Tiffany sat on the ground with her back against the wall. Jessica followed suit. "Surprise." "Yeah. Wow, what a pleasant surprise." The sarcasm didn't stop Jessica from grinning all too widely. Then, after a few minutes, Tiffany sees it - the true surprise. "Yes, I know. It's beautiful. You're welcome for bringing you here." The sunrise is enthralling and Tiffany finds herself smiling. Jessica and her strange ways. "Later we will leave this and start a new chapter of our-" "Oh my gosh, please stop. You're no good at speeches." "Thanks. I do not really know what to say next." They both giggle and held hands. Tiffany sighs heartily. - It's Jessica's twenty-seventh birthday when it happens. "Wh - What? What did you say?" "I love you?" "No. After that." "More than a friend should." "Oh my god." Jessica suddenly lost her balance and stumbles on the couch behind her. She stares into space with mouth agape and then she looks up to see Tiffany still standing with a very serious expression plastered on her face. "Okay, I think it's the alcohol." Tiffany expected that. Of course Jessica would try to rationalize things. "I drunk apple juice." "Uh, maybe it can give you a kick as well?" Tiffany turns to her heels and gets out of Jessica's room. The pink covered box left forgotten. She isn't drunk but maybe later she will be because it pierced her heart so much when Jessica kissed that Donghae. - "Why... me?" "Trust me I didn't want it to be you." Jessica blushes from the blunt comeback. She purses her lips and hands Tiffany a glass of water.  Once she's done drinking, she stood up and wobbled her way towards the door. She struggles to the knob and curses when she can't seem to open it. Jessica did it for her and she muttered a small Thanks before finally leaving the apartment. Jessica heaves a sigh and closes her eyes. There's still a lot of rubbish she needs to clean. So messy. - "I've decided." "On what?" "I'm not giving up on you." "Tiffany..." As expected, Tiffany would say this and Jessica knows too well she'll do as she said. "Please stop, Tiff." "No, I want to try." "Do you remember the basketball player? Kris?" "Yes I do. Perfectly." "You know why I agreed to the persistent boy. To conduct an experiment." "That cannot make me stop." Jessica stood up, making an ugly screeching noise of the chair. The people inside the restaurant started looking at their table.  "Tiffany! I'm crazy! You of all people know that!" "Do you think I care? I've gone through this far, Jessica. You do not know how much I wish I could just back away but I can't! Do you know how painful that is?" "I cannot feel. I'm unable to." Then a loud slap resonated the whole place. The people gasped and some covered their mouths. "That's for the weeks avoiding me and causing me misery and then suddenly just popping out of nowhere and toying about my feelings. You felt that, huh." Jessica touched her sore cheek and slowly, she faced Tiffany and said, "You know, I can think of a thousand things why you can't fall in love with me. But the other way around? None." Tiffany features softens a bit. "What are you so afraid of?" Then she left Jessica, again. - When she was in first grader and in search of crayons, Jessica immediately went to Tiffany's side to borrow a set. In high school when she feels weary and tired after fulfilling her duties as an outstanding student, she'd seek comfort from the other girl's stuffed animals, warm sheets and soft bed but Tiffany warmer and softer. Whenever she feels like the world's frowning upon her and drenching her with rain, she'll come running to Tiffany's umbrella and be guided by the girl. That's how she copes up. And now, it saddens her that she cannot talk to her best friend mainly because she's also the cause of how she's feeling. Now she realizes, it has been Tiffany and Tiffany all along. She had lived her life with her and imagining it without the girl, it's making her heart swell.  She dials a number